Tales from the wedding, Part One

[bowies]

Two weekends ago I spent the longest amount of time I've ever spent with MIL and hoo boy, was it a doozy.  In a way, I've become accustomed to her weirdness via her phone calls with H, but seeing her trot it out for all to see was cringe inducing.  H doesn't know a lot of it - I spared him a recap.  It's so hard to explain what she's like - my MOH and mom were both convinced she has brain damage from drug use.  (I know that's not the case, but may go a long way in explaining her personality.)

During our time spent getting hair/makeup done, she shared that she has a taxidermied cobra she keeps at her house to scare men away, that her method for dealing with Poppy's advice was to tell him "Shut up Old Man," claiming that she didn't recognize her XH (H's dad), and tried to argue with me over how H likes to dress himself.  Seeing as how he stopped living with her when he was 8 years old, she knows dick about him.  None of this really bothered me or incited my rage reflex until after she departed and my MOH made a very apt observation: she doesn't brag on her son.  She's right.  MIL spent a lot of time verbalizing all his (perceived) shortcomings and peccadilloes like the rest of us were going to tut-tut along with her or something.  It makes me so sad for him that his own mom is so bitter about his success/goodness that she thinks it's her mission to cut him down to size.  Thank God there were other adult figures in his life that acted as his support system/cheerleaders.

After she left my MOH apologized to me for secretly thinking I was doing the typical "awful MIL" bit.  She said I have the patience of Job.  I don't know about that - I just avoid her. 

[Deleted]

Yikes!

[captainmel]

I would not have self control. I get upset when Boyfriends mom tries to convince me to make Boyfriend get a haircut.

I'm excited for part two.

[cuddlyevil]

I hope you had enough booze around to take the edge off because oh man.

[neonpink]

Yikes indeed. I'm glad you just let her ramble and didn't join her hate parade.

She sounds like my FIL. He is so negative and passive aggressive. He seriously told my H that he wished he never had kids. That he had them for his wife. Who tells their kid that!

Edited to add: It sounds like a good thing that she didn't raise him. She sounds terrible.

[bowies]

After she left I had a big ol' glass of pink champagne. Challenging her doesn't get you very far. She's just bloviating and shuts up after she thinks she's been heard. She can't sense the awkwardness she leaves in her wake.

I will say, in her favor, that she turned it out in the wardrobe department. She left the backless dress at home and wore very tasteful and appropriate shift dresses to both the rehearsal dinner and wedding.

H's poor stepmom felt like she was caught between a rock and a hard place simply by being there. She's a nice lady (hasn't been around long) and chose not to wear the corsage we got her so as not to take away from MIL. I think H was a bit put out by that, but I knew where she was coming from.

[neonpink]

I think that was nice of your H's step mom to try not and make waves. It sounds like she had an inkling that your MIL might take it the wrong way.

[margarita]

Holy shit!

And I am laughing out loud at "taxidermied cobra"! Omgwtf?

[gault]

Classic definition of Attention Whore, right there. jesus

[neonpink]

At least she didn't bring it along as her guest.

[starrieskies]

My... she sounds... lovely.

[tiramisu]

Wow. Like was already said, it sounds like it's a good thing she didn't raise him. I hope you're able to have minimal contact and never have to newry the taxidermied cobra.

[partiallysunny]

How sad It's hard to have a parent like that. I'm glad she didn't raise him.

Why was she invited if she hasn't been in his life?

(not judging, just curious)

[bowies]

She's never not been in his life - she just didn't have primary custody. H and her talk on the phone a lot. He just can't be around her for any length of time. It's one of those instances where they are able to have a relationship because of the physical distance, not in spite of it. I know they love each other, but she's just not the traditional "mom" figure. He accepted that a long time ago. Me? I'm working on it.

The next time we visit, that cobra better be tucked away in a closet somewhere. Because NO.

[partiallysunny]

I see. Not having "traditional" parents is hard. I have a lot of sympathy for your H, but I'm glad he's found a way to make it work.