seriously? Wtf UPDATE

[spedrunner]

thanks, pursuing the RO

[TrickyBob]

Save voicemail. Go to police station and have them listen to it/file a restraining order.

[bonquiqui]

Sept 27, 2013 4:38:33 GMT -5 TrickyBob said:

Save voicemail. Go to police station and have them listen to it/file a restraining order.

Yes, definitely this.  Better safe than sorry, and I am sorry you are dealing with this  

[cleo29]

Wait, I thought you only divorced like a year or two ago? Is this another guy?

I would go ahead and file the order and save anything he sends you (VM, text, etc)

[Deleted]

Yeah, if he ripped up your mail and was acting like a jackass, I would still want to pursue a retraining order. That is not normal behavior.

[dcannie]

do not let this go. have every incident on record.

[noodle]

Do not let it go. He can regret all he wants, but it doesn't change what he did. Report this and don't respond to him directly.

[janiejones]

Do you rent? Maybe you should move.

[tripleshot]

Sept 27, 2013 7:33:36 GMT -5 noodle said:

Do not let it go. He can regret all he wants, but it doesn't change what he did. Report this and don't respond to him directly.

This. You need every incident on file.

[cuddlyevil]

Do NOT let this go. Save everything, go to the police and file a report. What would he have done if you were home?

[ElizabethBennet]

Absolutely do no let it go. Being drunk doesn't excuse horrible behavior.

And I'll echo a PP, can you move? I think that may be a good idea.

[runforrest]

I am sorry you are dealing with this.

Apology or not, I agree that you need to document this, save the voicemail, and go to the police about a restraining order. This probably isn't a one-time thing, unfortunately, and you need to protect yourself.

[screwedup]

Why does your ex-husband from six years ago know where you live? You moved when you divorced your second husband, right? I'm divorced. My ex-husband, unless he's a scary google stalker, has no idea where I live, what car I drive or anything else.

[Waffles]

I'd still go to the police and file a restraining order. He might be sorry this morning but what would have happened if you'd been home?

[Deleted]

Definitely file a restraining order, especially with the hx of abuse and alcoholism. His erratic behavior could continue.

[speckledfrog]

I think that because this happens to you on a somewhat regular basis you've become desensitized to the fact that it is absolutely bizarre, dangerous, and illegal. Yes, follow through with the police.

[weelass24]

I'd go to the policve and try to get a restraining order. And then, seriously, think about moving. Do you have a RO against your more recent ex? I can't remember.

[sparkythelawyer]

Yep. Call the cops.

And move. Like, out of the state. Because damn these people in your life suck.

[Deleted]

Absolutely do not let this go. Go to the police and file a report/restraining order.

[leeann]

Not to be an alarmist - but DO NOT LET THIS GO. I don't know if you guys remember this, but I just had a friend bury his 37 year old sister because her drunken boyfriend stabbed her to death earlier this summer. The guy was senteced Wednesday and claimed in court that he was "black out drunk" and doesn't remember killing her. No one really buys this, but the point is - do not take this lightly- do something/anything to make sure you are safe. No one thought that this guy was capable of murder, but he was.

[Velvetshady]

He ripped up your mail and messed up your mailbox? I wouldn't just call the cops and get a RO, I'd be ensuring he get hit with Federal charges for mail tampering.

[ohiowan]

I wouldn't respond to him and pursue a restraining order. Isn't it also a crime to screw with someone's mail?

[screwedup]

Sept 27, 2013 8:25:41 GMT -5 @josiemarcus said:

Sept 27, 2013 7:41:35 GMT -5 screwedup said:

Why does your ex-husband from six years ago know where you live? You moved when you divorced your second husband, right? I'm divorced. My ex-husband, unless he's a scary google stalker, has no idea where I live, what car I drive or anything else.

And this is helpful how?

Sped, I agree with others. Don't let this go.  Sure, it could be a onetime thing.  However, it could be something that is going to rear its ugly head again. Good luck!

It was a question - I didn't know if they had previously been friendly and he'd gone nuts suddenly or if he'd stalked her or what the situation was.  I guess it came off meaner than it meant to be.  I can see how an ex can find you but I didn't know if that's what had happened. 

[FastHands]

Ditto others. He was unhinged. It doesn't matter if he was drunk, because he can be drunk again any time in the future. You have more power/control over that situation if you already have this incident on file and an RO in place. Good luck.

[Deleted]

DO NOT LET THIS GO. CALL THE POLICE. CALL YOUR DIVORCE ATTORNEY. GET A TRO.

[flex]

Next time he gets drunk, he'll do it again. Don't enable his behavior. File a restraining order ASAP.

And like the pp's said, I think you need to move and change your phone number. I know it's not fair to expect you to do all that b/c he's the scary one, but I think you need to be proactive with this.

[Captain Serious]

Do not let it go. The apology is straight out of the cycle of abuse. It is not a sign that he won't do this again and escalate next time.

[murdock]

Please do what the other posters are saying.
No one should have to deal with this.

[speckledfrog]

Did he actually go to your place? Our just drunkenly rant about it? You need to contact the police either way, I'm just curious.

[spedrunner]

thanks guys , I am going to pursue the restraining order. I own the condo, but am actually in the process of moving, Too many bad memories, plus I need to get closer to work

thanks everyone