I just had one of the most awesome experiences ever.

[Jermys]

Went to dinner with NewOrleans from CE&P, and in the middle of sushi and a political discourse, she suddenly breaks out with "I can understand everything you're saying."  Except she said it in fluent Russian.  And not to me, but to the three drunk Russian guys behind us who were talking about how hot she is (and she is!).  

Cue their faces: 

Then one of them squeaked out "You speak Russian?" 

To which she replied "Da."

Sweet Jesus, I thought I was going to die laughing.  Then one of them came up and drunkenly pawed her shoulder and tried to give her his card, at which time, we high-tailed it to the bar.  Later, one of the owners came up and apologized - which we both told him was unnecessary because it wasn't his fault - but he gave us free molten chocolate cake anyway.  

[janiejones]

haha!

[bania]

I love this!

[gretchenindisguise]

This sounds amazing.

[angelaa73]

Hahaha yes!

[emsumm]

God, I love that woman.
And, not gonna lie, I'm so sad I wasn't there :-P

[LLL]

hahah

[ProfessorArtNerd]

That is awesome!

My non-oncfrontational ass did that once. In Spanish, not in Russian. And they weren't talking about how I was, they were talking about my friend and how dorky they thought he is. Putas sucias

[polka]

Lol!!

[SugarKane]

That's awesome. I had a similar incident once. DH and I were at a hibachi restaurant for my 29th birthday. The chef asked if I was turning 21 and I jokingly said "no, 18". The Russian guys next to us says to his buddy "18? Yeah more like 40" in Russian. So I picked up my phone and called my grandma. The look on their faces was priceless. If I was more comfortable with Russian to be sarcastic I would have said something to them, but this was the next best thing.

[tdk2]

omg awesome!

[isabel]

That is awesome!

[joshlyman]

[shostakovich]

This is so awesome. I did this once to a group of dudes on the train (just telling them I could understand everything they were saying about me and my friend), except in Spanish, but I feel that this is way less bad-ass than in Russian. Russian makes everything bad-ass.

[Jermys]

It was a thing of beauty topped off with cake. Free cake.

Also, Comrade didn't just rock normal bare feet...they were absolute Flintstone feet.

[alexis]

My SIL and her family lived in Brazil for a number of years and she is fluent in Portuguese. She was once taking a flight out of Brazil. She is very pale white and was speaking to her brother in English. A group of Brazilian guys behind her were talking about her and one guy in particular was talking up his English skills and bragging about how he was going to pick her up in English. He started talking to her and she says it was so bad she couldn't understand him at all. She turned around and said in Portuguese, "I understood you better when you spoke Portuguese." His friends laughed a lot and I'm sure they never let him forget it.

I also had a friend who spoke Spanish. She said men would frequently say innappropriate things in Spanish about her and her friends as they walked by. She would turn around and yell in Spanish, "You talk about your mama that way?!" Which would generally shut them up.

I wish I spoke another language mainly so I could do stuff like this.

[Deleted]

That is bad ass!
I wish I could speak fluent Mandarin so I could do this. I catch people talking about me or me and DH all the time - it's generally a dead giveaway because they'll use the term for foreigner or American which we recognize easily.
DH is even better and has had some funny and mostly positive interactions. He took a taxi from work to home once and the guy was immediately on his phone telling his friend that he was driving a "big boss" (important person). He has since had the same taxi (WEIRD) and the guy again called him "big boss".

[pantsparty]

Okay, I need to learn a second language so I can do this. At least once.

[bonquiqui]

Hilarious