Does anyone else's kid do this?

[Deleted]

Payne and I have been having a rough time for, oh, about 40% of his life now. He really resists authority and is tireless about questioning it (thanks for that genetic contribution Dh).

I really really really try to let him know when he's being good and when I'm proud of him, but 90% of the time he throws it back in my face.

"Payne, you were such a good boy at dinner. Thank you!"

Payne: "I wasn't. I was NOT Mommy" (pout, kick)

Wtf? What do I do with that?

I want my sweet two year old back

[tdk2]

Not yet. I didn't want yourpost to feel alone.

I'm sure I"ll be saying the same in the future, if that's any consolation?

[verypunny]

How about saying "I like the way you waited so quietly and patiently for your food,thank you! " maybe more specifics will help. I know what you mean. If I say he was being good he will say " yeah. But what about when I interrupted you to tattle?" So I try to give specific examples. Good luck!

[hopecounts]

He's 3 right? totally normal.
They are extremely literal and control oriented and this bumps up on both issues.
I agree with the compliment him on things he specifically did that you liked and do so immediately.
As in he says please say 'good job saying please' or he's being quiet in the library/restaurant/whatever
'you're doing such a great job being quiet/using your inside voice/sitting patiently'

[Deleted]

He's almost 5!

[pantsparty]

I think I'm still this way with my mom sometimes. I'm contrarian. So, strap in for another 30 years!

[ProfessorArtNerd]

Whenever Lucy says something like tha, I just sigh and say, "shoulda named you Mary."

I say it at least four times a day

[Deleted]

Oct 1, 2013 21:16:52 GMT -5 hopecounts said:

I agree with the compliment him on things he specifically did that you liked and do so immediately.
As in he says please say 'good job saying please' or he's being quiet in the library/restaurant/whatever
'you're doing such a great job being quiet/using your inside voice/sitting patiently'

I do this when I can. He used to love high fives, so I'll be all "great job man! High five!" And he'll be all "fuck off".

It makes me have the impulse to leave him alone when he's being good, which is horrible. Ugh.

I think I need to be more specific about what I'm praising. I do a lot of "you were a good boy" "you did a great job" etc. Maybe that is the issue.

[jaycee]

I can totally relate to your first sentence. If my 2 1/2 year old responded to a compliment like that, I'd just ignore it.

You're doing an awesome job! Hang in there!

[WOT?*]

Cady is 7 going on 8 and it gets worse before it gets better.

[Deleted]

Oct 1, 2013 21:27:18 GMT -5 WOT?* said:

Cady is 7 going on 8 and it gets worse before it gets better.

Am I ever going to be friends with him again?

I'm serious.

We were straight up buds until he turned three and I fucking miss it. I'm tearing up right now

And I'm worried dd will do the same thing and I'm not sure if I can take 5+ years of being constantly shit on.

[eb777888]

Oh, man. I'm sorry, Stellas. I think having a 4 y/o boy is very similar to having a hormonal teenager.

[Deleted]

Oct 1, 2013 21:32:48 GMT -5 eb777888 said:

Oh, man. I'm sorry, Stellas. I think having a 4 y/o boy is very similar to having a hormonal teenager.

OMG I am so glad to hear this. I turn to dh, mouth agape, on the regular and ask "are we raising a 4 yr old boy or a 14 yr old girl?!". Ds regularly reminds me of my older sister in the throes of puberty.

[malibu]

Oct 1, 2013 21:09:39 GMT -5 @stellasmom said:

Payne and I have been having a rough time for, oh, about 40% of his life now. He really resists authority and is tireless about questioning it (thanks for that genetic contribution Dh).

I really really really try to let him know when he's being good and when I'm proud of him, but 90% of the time he throws it back in my face.

"Payne, you were such a good boy at dinner. Thank you!"

Payne: "I wasn't. I was NOT Mommy" (pout, kick)

Wtf? What do I do with that?

I want my sweet two year old back

All the time. No matter what I say, it's met with negativity and pouting.

I'm kind of just waiting for it to pass.

[youbetcha]

I could have written this about my almost 6yo. He hates that praise because I think it means to him that he played my game. Like he feels like he caved to The Man or something. Just recently he has started enjoying the praise, particularly if I am telling someone else like Daddy or Grandma and he "happens" to overhear it. I felt just the same about not being buddies anymore and the last few weeks have been much better. He started Kindergarten and I think both the time away from each other and being more independent there has helped at home. Hang in there! It may be just around the corner.

[eb777888]

Oct 1, 2013 21:36:35 GMT -5 @stellasmom said:

Oct 1, 2013 21:32:48 GMT -5 eb777888 said:

Oh, man. I'm sorry, Stellas. I think having a 4 y/o boy is very similar to having a hormonal teenager.

OMG I am so glad to hear this. I turn to dh, mouth agape, on the regular and ask "are we raising a 4 yr old boy or a 14 yr old girl?!". Ds regularly reminds me of my older sister in the throes of puberty.

Yep. The drama, the rage, the angst! He'll trick me and be totally fine for a few days them BAM. Crazytown.

[stephm0188]

I ask questions. "Hey, how do you think you did at dinner tonight?" He'll answer, and then I'll giving him whatever praise/ constructive criticism I was going to give him anyhow. He accepts it because he thinks he's telling me how he behaved instead of me telling him.

[MWOS]

Oct 1, 2013 21:20:28 GMT -5 ProfessorArtNerd said:

Whenever Lucy says something like tha, I just sigh and say, "shoulda named you Mary."

I say it at least four times a day

NAILED IT