Am I crazy? Post partum question

[VeryViolet]

Would I be able to ride in the car for an hour and a half 12 days after having a baby to go to a baby shower? My really good friend is due with her first next month. She had issues getting and staying pregnant and I am really excited for her.

She has made it a point to travel for my bridal and baby shower as well as lots of other things. I missed her bridal shower because I had a previously scheduled vacation. I am sure she doesn't remember this or care but I would really like to make an effort to get to her baby shower.

My plan was to see how my delivery went first and then if I felt up to it have DH drive me there with the baby. Am I nuts for thinking this could happen or could it be reasonable if delivery goes okay.

The RSVP is regrets only with no date but my plan was to give the host a heads up. The shower is in a church hall and not a seated meal or anything where they have to pay per person. I don't think she would have a problem if I let her know a few days out.

[TrudyCampbell]

Probably. I couldn't have done it, but I had a lot of complications due to a post partum hemorrhage.

[ginap]

I would really wait and see. I had to have a c section and 12 days out I was still moving pretty slow and not feeling 100%, but I know plenty of people who had standard labor and deliveries and they would have been fine. Email the host and tell her you will let her know as soon as you can.

[rex]

I'm 11 days out and I would be perfectly fine doing that tomorrow as long as I had the baby with me.

That being said, you don't know how you'll actually end up feeling.

[stephm0188]

Play it by ear. That was around the time my hormones were really nutty and I was an emotional wreck. You might feel great. You might not. See how it goes for you.

[TrudyCampbell]

Are you planning a vaginal birth? How do you know it will be 12 days later? You could go a week late, etc. I'd play it by ear, your friend will understand. And if she doesn't understand now she will when her baby arrives.

[VeryViolet]

Oct 1, 2013 22:16:14 GMT -5 TrudyCampbell said:

Are you planning a vaginal birth? How do you know it will be 12 days later? You could go a week late, etc. I'd play it by ear, your friend will understand. And if she doesn't understand now she will when her baby arrives.

I should have added I am getting induced so it will either be 12 days out or a little longer. The plan is for vaginal but obviously with getting induced the chances of c-section go up.

So my other question is am I totally rude if I my RSVP is "I really am going to try to come but I will let you know"?

[nadasteph]

I had a C-section after a long labor and I would have been fine sitting for that long, especially with DH driving. As long as your baby is nursing ok and you're comfortable feeding him at the shower, it's not crazy to plan/hope to go.

[liverandonions]

I could have yes. I had a fairly easy labor and very easy recovery. I was out and about within a week because I was getting cabin fever at home.

[stephm0188]

No, not rude. There are some things you just can't plan perfectly, and this is one of them.

[rupertpenny]

I'd have been able to go no problem. And in this situation I think a "maybe" RSVP is fine. They should be able to understand that, and you have a legitimate reason after all.

[psychmom]

Oct 1, 2013 22:18:24 GMT -5 VeryViolet said:

Oct 1, 2013 22:16:14 GMT -5 TrudyCampbell said:

Are you planning a vaginal birth? How do you know it will be 12 days later? You could go a week late, etc. I'd play it by ear, your friend will understand. And if she doesn't understand now she will when her baby arrives.

I should have added I am getting induced so it will either be 12 days out or a little longer. The plan is for vaginal but obviously with getting induced the chances of c-section go up.

So my other question is am I totally rude if I my RSVP is "I really am going to try to come but I will let you know"?

I honestly don't think your rsvp would bother me as a host. It's a totally understandable circumstance.

[tdk2]

Give the host a heads up and ask if it's ok if you can play it by ear. Generally, they probably will be totally fine like that. I mean it's not like you have a conflicting manicure appt or something.

I probably would have, but then again, I totally overdid it post baby and ended up w/ a LOT longer recovery than I probably should have. So. I would say see how you're feeling, see how you're doing. I'd even give yourself until the day or 2 before to decide. how you feel and how life w/ baby is can change day to day at that point. I really suspect the host will be ok w/ it.

(I've had to be the conditional RSVP at times - usually from our business, but people always understand. And I understand if they need a FIRM count, then sometimes I just have to say no, but they usually respond for me to call them if it changes last minute and that I can attend.

[jaycee]

I would have been able to go after both of my deliveries. Good luck to you. I hope you're able to make it. She sounds like a sweet friend.

[TrudyCampbell]

I don't think it's rude at all to give a tentative RSVP.

[kirra]

I'm not a parent, and a tentative RSVP from a woman planning around birth wouldn't be rude at all. I think it's one reason for a tentative RSVP that any non crazy person will be ok with.

[thejen626]

You won't know until 10 days after the birth, honestly. Twelve days after my 2nd c/s, I drove myself to 2 baby showers, passed the baby around, it was easy. But that was easy for me because it was my 2nd baby. I wouldn't have been up for that the first time around.

[VeryViolet]

Thanks everyone! I feel better about my tentative RSVP now. I really wasn't sure if this was ridiculous or maybe doable. I feel better that it may be possible and I will send a cute gift and not beat myself up if it isn't.

[roo54]

I would have been able too. I was up and moving around rather quickly.

I don't think it's rude at all to respond with a "maybe, we'll play it by ear". You can't control how you are going to feel with adjusting to everything.

[Deleted]

I physically wouldn't have been able to, but i basically split my pelvis in delivery. Emotionally it would have been insanely stressful going out w them like that at that age. We were still figuring things out.

I like your tentative rsvp idea. It keeps things open so you can play it by ear. And don't feel obligated the day of either. If things are tough that day, don't go.

[CurlyQ284]

I think a tentative response would be fine. I would have been able to do it at that point. Hell I was Christmas shopping a week after delivery. But you just can't tell in advance what kind of recovery you'll need. Yayyyy baby VV is almost here!

[bittybomb]

I Was a bridesmaid in my bff's wedding 9 days post birth with my first. I would not recommend heels but I was otherwise fine. Exhausted but fine.

[RBL]

Physically this would have been very easy for me. However, DS was jaundice and on a biliblanket for the first 10 days, which was mentally exhausting. So like the others have said, I would play it by ear if at all possible.

[snickers]

Well, I am only 6 days out, and while my vagina hurts like hell, sitting in the car probably wouldn't bother me too much. It would be the shower that might be too much I think. With that said, I had an episiotomy..