More Open Letters

[julie324]

Dear job,

I really loved you. I get that I messed up but firing me was a little harsh. I did ask a supervisor to help and she refused. WTF?

Dear friend,

Please stop bitching about how hard it is to be a mom. I get that it is hard. Why do you feel like it is okay for my financial plan to be to get on Medicaid and then have a baby? It is actually okay for me to be sad that it isn't a good time financially to have a baby and not just have one anyway like you did. (actually you had 2, but I digress

[BettyBookWorm]

I'm sorry about your job, Julie.

Dear MIL,
Relax for fuck's sake. I swear it must be sucky to be you being so keyed up all the time. NO, we don't want to open a business with your money. No, I don't want to go to law school. I am happy being a SAHM, and that IS my job. No, H doesn't want to go get an MBA or a Ph.D-- he is happy at his current job (for the moment). Your constant nagging about "a better life" is annoying as fuck. I get it, life is hard & we have to prepare. However, our life is not shameful or in dire need of a makeover. We are happy and fine. LET US BE. Your son has told you this, but its like you are stuck on autopilot and the record is busted. fuuuuuuuck!

[julie324]

Thanks, Betty! Please tell your MIL that your give a damn about her opinion is busted!

[partiallysunny]

Dear engineer,

You're a sexist, hypocritical know-it-all. You abuse your power. You have no idea how to mulitask or how to teach. You certaintly don't know how to manage. You believe everyone is beneath you and your way is the only right way. I am actively looking for a job because I can't do another project with you. I would punch you in the face.

[BettyBookWorm]

Jun 25, 2012 8:04:32 GMT -5 partiallysunny said:

Dear engineer,

You're a sexist, hypocritical know-it-all. You abuse your power. You have no idea how to mulitask or how to teach. You certaintly don't know how to manage. You believe everyone is beneath you and your way is the only right way. I am actively looking for a job because I can't do another project with you. I would punch you in the face.

What an asshole! I'm sorry you ahve to deal with that.

Dear MIL, (continued)
No, the god damned jumperoo will NOT cause brain damage. The heat (in small doses, like from car to grocery store) will not cause Abby brain damage. Will you quit it with wanting the kid to have brain damage? I promise I don't suck that bad and I'm not out to damage my kid. Jesus christ! :@

[gbck]

Sory about the job Julie.


Dear place I sent a resume to last week,

I don't know if I want the job (I mean, I do, but I don't know if I want it enough to uproot my family and move cross- country. You'd have to pay me SUPEr well to do that)...
but my ego would really REALLY appreciate at least a call or e-mail back.
Really.

-me.

[partiallysunny]

Is your MIL usually that awful, Betty? I don't remember you really talking about her before?

[imoan]

Dear Coworkers,

When I tell you that we're working with a skeleton crew this morning, it does NOT make me happy when I realize that 2 of the 4 people actually in today are still not logged into the phones at 10 after 9 (our phones turn on at 9). I love that I talk just to hear myself talk.

~Your bitch of a team lead

Dear Co Team Lead,

EVERYBODY that works on your product is out of the office today. You'd think that would make YOU get here on time. But nope... a half an hour late is totally acceptable. I'll just stay logged into YOUR product, like usual.

~Your bitch of a co team lead

[BettyBookWorm]

Jun 25, 2012 8:46:17 GMT -5 partiallysunny said:

Is your MIL usually that awful, Betty? I don't remember you really talking about her before?

Unfortunately, yes. This is par for the course with her. I swear one day I'm just going to lose my shit on her.

[Chirp]

Dear Hand-Foot-and-Mouth disease,

You suck. I am officially evicting you from my house. GTFO now.



Dear random pediatrician,

Thank you very much for the awesome benadryl+mylanta concoction. The kid has slept for the first time since he woke up on Friday morning and he's actually eating food again.


Dear imoan,

I am watching Gilmore girls right now. It is one where Lorelai has to go fishing with Alex and Paris tries to impeach Rory because Francie is crazy.

[starrieskies]

Sorry to hear about your job, julie! That sucks!

Dear Mom,
If you can't talk to me on the phone without crying, don't call me please. I have enough drama llamas in my daily life, I don't need your drama too. Your son let his girlfriend move into the house you and dad helped him buy. I get that it goes against your religious values, but he is a grown ass man! If you don't want to drive out of state to visit them, don't. But don't call crying to me about how you feel "betrayed" by him. This was not a decision that he made to purposely hurt you, and FOR GODS SAKE STOP going on about how you can't believe that out of your 5 kids you don't have a single one who still goes to church!!! Going to church doesn't make you religious any more than standing in the garage makes you a damn car!

Sincerely,
Your Awful Middle Child

Dear Brother,
I can't wait to see you in a couple of weeks and meet your crazy ass girlfriend! She annoys me already. Don't be surprised if she hates me by the time you leave town.

Love,
The Awful Sister

[mortomo]

Dear photographers of senior school pictures,

Really? I have to pay THAT much just to have a professional photo taken of my kid who really doesn't want his picture taken? Why does he need 14 poses and 3 outfit changes and a separate 'add-on' package just to get his picture taken outside? Really, you should have separate packages for boys and girls because boys really don't care.

I just want a nice picture of my son.

Signed,

A frustrated mom

[fussbucket]

Dear brother,

Get. Your. Kid. Checked. Out. The time to act passed about a year and a half ago. Stop rationalizing and start parenting.

Love,
Your worried-sick sister

[muttsrule]

Dear morons who abandon and mistreat helpless animals that end up at our shelter,

I firmly believe there is a special place in hell for you. Your unspeakable evil haunts my dreams.

Be glad animals can't speak and rat you out...you'd be dead.

Signed,
Exhausted, tired and depressed rescue volunteer

[maucat]

Dear Biscotty,

Please stop throwing up on the furniture. There's lots of lovely hardwood for you to throw up on instead. And throwing up on the couch is really not the way I want to be helped with my fitness routine. Keep this up and I'm reclaiming the armchairs.

Signed,
frustrated jessicat

Dear Sofia,

You will get fed faster if you don't try to trip and kill me every morning. Please learn this lesson, it's only been a year!
Love,
Your human

Dear Nature's Miracle,

Thank you for making the hairball & vomit eliminator. It works so much better than any other product I've tried.

With gratitude,
Less-frustrated Jessicat

[lala2834]

Dear Boss,

Stop taking advantage of me. I'm seriously fed up with it. I bust my ass at this place, I spend hours messing with numbers trying to make sure we meet payroll AND pay off vendors so they don't cut us off.Then you have the balls to complain because my work area is messy? Take a look at it. 90% of it is shit you've thrown on my desk. I have a box for you to place these things in, yet you refuse.

I TOLD you when I was taking vacation. I entered it in your calendar myself. The calendar on your phone that all you have to do is open to make sure nothing is going on. Scheduling meetings during the time when I'm supposed to take off, then asking me to change my vacation plans is fucked up. No, I don't want to take my vacation the week of the 4th- everything will be packed and I won't be able to do anything. Maybe I'm being a spoiled rotten brat but I asked for this 4 weeks before the requested dates, we only require two weeks notice.

Also? When I give you 5 different messages from the same person- call them. It makes me look like I'm not doing my job because you have an inability to do yours.

And when you tell me a part's almost done, have me call the customer, the customer gets here & the part's not done? Makes me look like a moron.

Signed,
Needs a new job

[sawyerthedestroyer]

Dear Idiots on FB,

I'm going to have to unfriend you. From putting a television in your toddler's room, to taking your ten-year-old to a LMFAO concert, to trying to sell me on the HCG diet (BTW, no shit you're losing tons of weight, you put your body in starvation mode by only eating 500 calories a day!), to your dramatic vague cries for attention/complements/money, to trying to sell me Mary Kay when I live in a different state (you apparently don't keep up with me enough to know I moved over a year ago!), I just can't roll my eyes enough anymore.

It's been fun,

Casual FB User