Random Things Kids Have Said This Week

[Ohhmm(bligo)]

(for the first section, please picture an adorable 4th grade boy speaking in a low pitched monotone a la Brick from The Middle when he whispers)

"You mess with da BULL...you get da HORNS...of da...BUFFALO.  I'm a WAAAAAR HEROOOOOOOOOOH."

"Lives in pineapple.  Under da sea.  Mrs. H, I fahted.  Betta watch out.  Betta not pout.  Beavahs cut them all up.  Beavahs live in da watdah.  Gonna get it OUT."

*asked what animal he would be, if he could be any animal* "A...da...maneatah."  "Ouh a...rhinahs-a-wuss."
--
"OH LAWD, HERE COME THE SQUIRRELS AGAIN!"
--
Teacher: "Oh, baby, were you sick yesterday?"
"YEP"
Teacher: "You...you had Cap'n Crunch for breakfast, didn't you?"
"YEP"
Teacher: "Please chew better."
"YEP"
--
*13-year-old client, upon seeing my new hairs* "WOAH!  Your hair's, like, PURPLE!  Wow!  I like it!"
*I feel pretty damn hip.*
*In cafeteria, holding a sign that says 60* "Look.  If you flip it, it says 09.  That's how many more years my mom has until she turns 60!  That's, like, a coincidence!"
Me: "Yeah, but your mom probably doesn't like everyone being told that."
"That's ok.  You've got, like, some more.  Like, hmm, 20."
"COME AGAIN, SON?"
"You're, like, in your forties, right?"
"COME AGAIN, SON?"
"Ohhhhhhhhhh.  You're in your thirties."
"It is too early in the morning for these shenanigans, and I haven't had coffee yet."
"WOAH.  You're only TWENTY NINE?"
"I AM TWENTY EIGHT YEARS OLD."
"Woaaaaaaaaaaah."  *giggles*  "I thought you were in your forties!  For SURE!"
"See if I save you from yourself next time you decide to poke Billy when he's agitated."
--
*Pep rally, on 8th grade bleachers*
"Everywhere we go?"
EVERYWHERE WE GO-OH
"People wanna know-oh"
PEOPLE WANNA KNOW-E-OH
"Who we are"
SO WE TELL THEM
*entire grade jumps up and begins moshing on the bleachers*
BURGERS AND FRIES BURGERS AND FRIES BURGERSANDFRIESBURGERSANDFRIESOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
--
Entire 1st grade class is gathered along a hill at a farm on a mountain top.  Farmer is talking to them about agriculture and how they store hay.  He mentions fermenting, sees the WUH look on all their faces, and says, "You know how sometimes you see your mom drinking wine?  That's fermented."
And one kid yells Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! 
And it echoes off the mountain.  As his mom, who is chaperoning beside him, attempts to dissolve into thin air.
And then we learned about hunting, different types of shotgun shells, and archery as part of the agriculture stations.
tgif, nft

[emjacobs]

The first section is gold!

[snickers]

lol!