DH and I had to put one of our dogs down in April (the spotty guy on the right, in case you want to marvel at his handsomeness). I am starting to think our other dog is a bit lonely and might want a companion. She and our other dog were never super close, but I think they liked having each other around.
I don't know if I am ready for this. I want to do right by our dog and I know we'll get another one eventually, but I am just so messed up about it. DH and I looked at a few in shelters last night. Then I went upstairs and bawled my eyes out for 20 minutes. I'm getting teary just typing this out. I miss my dog so, so much. I can barely stand it some days. I don't want to replace him and I don't know if I'll be able to love another dog as much. (Does this feeling go away? It's been 8 months. I thought it would have faded some by now.)
I think we are going to go look at a couple of these dogs tomorrow. We are both in agreement that we won't move forward with an adoption tomorrow unless we're 100% sure. Maybe meeting a couple of these dogs will help me decide.
Poor poodles and advice are all welcome. If you've been through something similar, I would love to know how you dealt with it and the outcome.
I'm so sorry. Losing pets is really hard. We had two cats (male and female) and had to put one cat down last year and I'm still not over it.
We ended up getting another cat shortly after to keep our female cat company. As hard as it was to lose our little guy, I like to think that his absence let us open our home to another kitty in need and he would have liked that
Post by W.T.Faulkner on Oct 20, 2013 8:47:02 GMT -5
Isabel, we really are the same person. I lost my dog in July.
I am so, so sorry you are hurting. I don't have advice, but be gentle with yourself. They really are part of the family, and it is like losing a person.
I'm so sorry Losing a pet is one of the hardest things I've had to go through.
There was a LOT of time in between losing my childhood pet and adopting Rox, not because I necessarily wanted it to be, but because of circumstances. It was about ten years in between and I only waited because I had been living in places that didn't accept dogs. I will say that I love Rox to death and that, while she never replaces my childhood dog that I loved dearly, I love her just as much.
I think it's OK to take some time if you and your H just don't feel ready yet. I also think that if you DO feel ready, it's OK to get a new dog now. You know you won't be replacing your other pup and he's always have a place in your family and your heart.
Post by midnightmare81 on Oct 20, 2013 9:38:29 GMT -5
I'm sorry. Losing a loved one is NEVER easy, furry or not.
I lost my heart horse 1 1/2 yrs ago and it still hurts. I still cry every time I think of that day, and tear up occasionally when I see his picture. Don't try to rush it.
That said, fostering might be a good idea for you. It would give you a chance to see how you feel about having another dog in the house without the lifetime commitment, and you would be helping another dog in the process!
My advice is to remember that your relationship with your dogs is always different. Don't adopt a dog hoping to love him/her "as much". It will not be the same. Think of other relationships in your life, the individuals have as much influence on how they develop as you do. Your new dog will be different and will find a way into your heart differently. You won't be doing your past pet a disservice by making room in your life for a new dog, they will have separate places in your heart. You can love a new pet and still love your old one. It will just take time.
Adopt when you are ready, but be ready for some emotional difficulties and try not to compare them. <3
If a personal story helps: We got Buddy (blind guy in sig) about 4 months after Chief passed away. I haaaaaaated Buddy. Passionate hate. I wanted so badly to get rid of him. He was nothing like Chief was - his over-exuberance, energy, and stubbornness drove me up.the.wall. Now he is my heart dog and I would do pretty much anything for him. I love Maxim (the doberman), he is such a mama's boy and so smart. He is so much fun to train with and I love showing him off to my friends. I love them both, but so differently - and that doesn't mean I don't still love Chief, who could pick pockets for cash and barked furiously at mustard.
If a personal story helps: We got Buddy (blind guy in sig) about 4 months after Chief passed away. I haaaaaaated Buddy. Passionate hate. I wanted so badly to get rid of him. He was nothing like Chief was - his over-exuberance, energy, and stubbornness drove me up.the.wall. Now he is my heart dog and I would do pretty much anything for him. I love Maxim (the doberman), he is such a mama's boy and so smart. He is so much fun to train with and I love showing him off to my friends. I love them both, but so differently - and that doesn't mean I don't still love Chief, who could pick pockets for cash and barked furiously at mustard.
Ok, this made me laugh. He sounds like he was a great dog!
Thank you all so much for caring and the advice. I so appreciate it! I don't think today is the day, but I'm hoping that things will get easier day by day. Also, one of the dogs we were going to look at is named Beau. The dog we lost was Guapo. Both names mean 'handsome'. Sadly, Beau is a barker and can't live in an apartment, which is a bit ironic since we never would have moved into an apartment if we still had Guapo. He wouldn't have lasted a day without a yard.
I'm sorry, Isabel It is rough, I still miss my cuddle bug and she's been gone for 7 years. You'll always miss him, and he can't be replaced. But any new pets will be additions to your family, not replacements.
I know it's hard to think about. But you don't have to worry about loving another one more or less. The love you had for Guapo was special only to him, just like the love you would have for a new dog would be special to it.
It's so hard, and everyone grieves at their own pace. I was ready for another dog about 3 months after my Leah passed, because the house was a just so empty without a dog.
Just remember that no dog is going to replace your dog. You need to keep the perspective that a new dog is going to be awesome in his or her own right, with his or her own personality. Try not to compare them(easier said than done I know).