I was late to work this morning, because DS and I had to have a talk. Apparently stbx has been talking to him over the weekends at his house. DS asked me this morning why I am divorcing his dad. He then proceeded to tell me that I did a very bad thing because "Daddy wanted to talk to you and you just divorced him." WTF???
Post by starrieskies on Oct 23, 2013 11:04:10 GMT -5
This is yet another example of why my being the "nice guy" is biting me in the ass...
I haven't mentioned it on the boards, but a month ago, stbx asked me to wait to file until he had saved enough money to pay for his own lawyer. I thought about it for several days, and since he was being so reasonable at that point I agreed, but told him that I was planning on filing whether he had retained a lawyer or not on December 1st. He said that if he has the money before then he will let me know and we can do it earlier, but if I file before he has the money he's going to be pissed. I told him that I was not going to leave it open ended, and December 1st should be plenty of time.
I wanted to keep things as nice and civil as possible and knew that it would be a big issue if I had just filed and I didn't want his anger to affect his growing relationship with DS. I wish I had. I didn't say anything here because I knew that the general consensus would have been that I should just file, and I really thought at the time I was doing the right thing. I was wrong. Fuck him, Fuck him and his manipulative ass!!!
I'm going to look into a child therapist for DS. It's going to cost me out the ass, with our new insurance that goes into effect on the 1st, but he needs a neutral party to talk to about this stuff.
Post by captainmel on Oct 23, 2013 11:18:37 GMT -5
To quote the always wise Captain Mal Reynolds.
"Now think real hard. You've been birddoggin' this township a while now. They wouldn't mind a corpse of you. Now you can luxuriate in a nice jail cell, but if your hand touches metal, I swear by my pretty floral bonnet I will end you."
He has touched metal. End him.
I will even sew you a pretty floral bonnet and mail it to you if it would help.
Post by starrieskies on Oct 23, 2013 12:04:57 GMT -5
I know. I'm so mad! I'm mad at him, I'm mad at myself, I'm just so angry! I really thought I was doing the right thing, and now I see that it was more manipulation. And the thought that he's been talking to DS like that has me seeing red! GAH!! And here I was just marvelling the other day about how nice and easy this whole process has been. All the while, he's been doing this crap right under my nose! I've been trying so hard to make sure that his relationship with his father has not only NOT been damaged, but it's grown, and he's deliberately trying to damage MY relationship with him!
Time to be an ice queen and quit being nice. File, protect your son, and protect yourself. What, did he think kids don't monkey see monkey do all that crazy bullshit he's probably been spoon-feeding your son on weekends?
Time to be an ice queen and quit being nice. File, protect your son, and protect yourself. What, did he think kids don't monkey see monkey do all that crazy bullshit he's probably been spoon-feeding your son on weekends?
I'm pretty sure he was betting on DS repeating the things he said. She won't engage more than absolutely necessary, so he doesn't get a chance to get his digs in directly--so he's using their son as a weapon.