I just have to vent about my ILs.

[ECB]

This can be summed up with "they just always seem to miss the mark".

Two pieces of "background" on DH.
1- he likes beer.  A lot.  He likes trying new beers, tracks what he drinks in a spreadsheet, rates them.  It's kind of a hobby, of sorts. 

2- he lost between 15- 25 lbs in the past year.  At least at the 25 lb mark, he went down a size.  He's back up 10 lbs and I"m not sure how this affects his clothes.  But to be clear - this means he went from an XL in shirts to a L. 

Oh, and for the most part, he's a pretty good dresser.  He does like getting beer related t-shirts from places we go to.  Breweries we visit, good bars we go to.  That kind of thing.  Tokens of places he's had good beer.  But they are usually relatively understated and if he wears them under a button-down shirt, you really don't even  pay THAT much attention.

All that being said, FIL bought DH 3 clothing items.  One was a t-shirt that was relatively innocuous.  Brown writing on a tan shirt.  Something about "real men are microbrewologists".  Not really DHs kind of shirt, but, eh... it really isn't too in your face. 

The 2nd item was a black sweatshirt w/ neon writing.  "Don't Bore Me, Beer Me".  And the 3rd was another black sweatshirt w/ a picture of 3 mugs of beer that said "I used to think that beer was bad for me.  So I gave up thinking". 

First, these are just so NOT something he'd ever wear.  Ever.  He's not into goofy sayings like that.  At all.  It's not that hard to know this about him.

But the second part is what I think REALLY kind of upset/hurt him.  They were all 2XLs.   

The weight loss is noticeable.  He's proud of it.  He's worked hard and continues to work hard to stay in shape.  I really think he could have laughed off the silly sayings if it weren't for the fact that he's never been a 2XL, much less for the fact that he's lost weight were he's now more on the L side of things. 

It's like his parents just don't take the time to notice.  He really seemed stunned that his dad bought him 2XL shirts. 

I just see this happening in so many little ways.  It makes me want to shake them.  And I just feel bad for DH.

[cuddlyevil]

Aw, I'm sorry the IL's are jerkfaces who don't know their son well enough to give him a gift he'd enjoy.

You'd think they would notice that big of a size change.

[neonpink]

I feel like your IL are like mine. All you can do is cheer your H up. It hurts when your parents don't notice things. I'm Sorry for Mr.ECB.

My H's parents buy really similar gifts that show they don't really pay attention either.
It really hurts H's feelings. In H's case his Dad and Mom give real gifts to the other siblings and H always gets gag gifts. Last year he was taking flying lessons and his Dad got him this tacky totally cheap aviation joke hat. (Like snoopy the dog wears in the cartoons) He would NEVER ever wear anything like that. Not to mention the hat didn't fit him it was for a kid.
It was the most awkward Christmas ever. It was a secret Santa thing and everyone had worked hard to find a good gift for each other and his Dad bought that. I was so hurt and mad for him. This wasn't the first bad gift that was his Dad's brilliant idea either.

[Deleted]

Sorry ECB. This happened with my family too - I lost a ton of weight (55 pounds) and they still bought me XXL clothes. It was very hurtful too.

On the positive side - we have tons of awesome breweries in Raleigh so you guys will have to come visit.

[neonpink]

PS if you're ever in Georgia. Sweetwater is awesome and has a great brewery tour.

[Wrath0fKuus]

My parents will do things like get me a flannel shirt, and say "you wear flannel shirts all the time." And it's true, I did... twenty years ago. I wonder if your ILs don't think your DH is huge, but rather they still think he's 19 and wears super baggy clothes?

[Deleted]

Oct 29, 2013 15:28:50 GMT -5 Wrath0fKuus said:

My parents will do things like get me a flannel shirt, and say "you wear flannel shirts all the time." And it's true, I did... twenty years ago. I wonder if your ILs don't think your DH is huge, but rather they still think he's 19 and wears super baggy clothes?

This reminds me of one xmas maybe 5 years ago? Right before I met DH - I was single and 27 or something. My oldest sister who was maybe around 40 sent me this flannel night gown a grandmother would wear and it was XXL. It went high up on the neck with a collar and down to my ankles. 

I opened it up and stared at it in complete silence. And then I tossed it in the goodwill bag. 

WTF? 

[margarita]

That sucks, ECB. I'm sorry.

[partiallysunny]

Poor guy. This reminds me of last Christmas when my mom got my XL and XXL clothes along with a face mask kit meant for wrinkles and lines.

I am not an XL let alone a XXL. And I've noticed no wrinkles.

Just tell him how sexy he is. A lot.

[captainmel]

Ugh, this is why I never buy clothing as presents. I think you should just tell him how proud of him you are and how attractive he is.

Also, I have to throw out there that Utah has amazing breweries too!

[zitiqueen]

As far as the goofy sayings, turn the sweatshirts inside-out and wear them as comfy-type clothes around the house.

[bowies]

At least he now has some yard work/painting clothes. Or some nice car wax buffers.

I get how hurtful it is when the gifts aren't about the recipient but about the person giving it. They think themselves "clever" and that their taste supercedes yours. This also describes my MIL, who is hell bent on purchasing things she wants to purchase, even when told no. Have you seen our intertwined hands statue? Yeeeeeaahhh. That was the tip of the iceberg. The closet in H's office is filled to the brim with his mom's gifts. They'll be going to charity once we get closer to the end of the year and clean out the other closets.

Tell your H to try and not take it personally - someone who has bad taste in clothing can't be depended on to get sizes right either. That requires him to, yanno, pay attention.

[ECB]

Nov 1, 2013 11:46:25 GMT -5 zitiqueen said:

As far as the goofy sayings, turn the sweatshirts inside-out and wear them as comfy-type clothes around the house.

Dh sometimes works as an engineer on a boat. I told him to use them for that.