new question....

[2brides]

last week in the coming out group, we started to touch on relationships and how lesbian relationships (couples) are different/same as hetero couples. I've been thinking about this all week...I am curious to hear your thoughts.

[seattlekari]

Oooooh good question. Having been in both, I will give it a try.

Differences:

I think for me the most obvious thing is probably the division of labor at home. Hetero relationships tend to fall along the much more "traditional" (don't really like that word but sadly it fits) roles of women doing things inside the home, men doing the outside stuff, the grilling, etc. I love that in a relationship with a woman those lines are not there. I suppose for some couples they may be if one tends to lean more one way on the spectrum, but I find the beauty of it is that you can divide things any which way you like.

In some parts of the country (or dependent upon the comfort level of the individuals in the couple) gay couples may not be "out" in public, i.e. holding hands or any small displays of affection. When I first came out this was a BIG thing for me even though I live near one of the gayest cities in the country.

Being with a woman brings a much stronger emotional connection for me than I ever had with a man. I'm not sure if that's just because it feels right or because she's a woman and we tend to connect on much more emotional levels, I would be interested to hear someone else's take on this.

Similarities:

The basics? We all want to love and be loved, we fight, we have sex, we struggle through all the things of daily life together.

I'm sure I could go on, but I'll stop here.

[kershnic]

We've both had female family members unhappy about feeling that we turn to each other when if we were married to men we might turn to a mom/sister/best friend. Like, my sister bounces things off me that her husband doesn't care about - wedding details, nursery details, trip planning details. But B and I do those things together.

I have more thoughts but no time to type more, so I'll leave this here and see if others are around to continue the conversation!