I don't remember hearing about this before. Have you been contacting her over the two months? What were her responses like?
I contacted her about a week before the wedding to ask if she had a tracking number and she said that, since it was international she didn't have one but thought it would arrive in time. When I contacted her a week or two after the wedding and asked for a refund she refused and said it must have been lost and she could only send it again.
Did you tell her the date you needed it by at the time you ordered? Did she quote you a certain time frame for you getting it? If you let her know well in advance the time you needed it, then I do think you deserve a refund. If she quoted you something like 6 weeks and it obviously took longer, I think you deserve one as well.
I would try to dispute it through Etsy or Pay Pal.