Pit bull Owners: Talk Me Down

[expatpumpkin]

I'm having a dinner party tomorrow night and one of the guests has requested to bring her pit bull.  We have a 16-pound male Shih tzu, a sweetie pie of a dog.  I've never met the friend's dog, but here's what I know:

- 8-9 year-old male, neutered
- Rescue dog; she's had him for a very long time (6-7 years?)
- She says he very sweet
- I have no reason to believe she's anything but a responsible dog owner
- Surely she wouldn't bring a dangerous dog - she knows about our dog

I know this is flammable, sorry to pit bull owners, I don't mean to offend.  But I can't help to be afraid.  Having my dog attacked is one of my phobias - I've actually had nightmares.  But I don't want to discriminate against her dog, who's probably really sweet.  So I said yes.  But now I'm freaking out.

Please talk me down?  I'm overreacting and it will be fine, right?

Any pit bull owners who can tell me about successful interaction with small dogs?

Please no horror stories - it will seriously give me nightmares.  I just can't.

ETA:  We live in London, which is a VERY dog-friendly city.  Bringing your dog to a dinner party isn't strange in my circle.  Among fellow dog owners - in our circle - it's actually the norm.  Dogs come to our parties all the time.  So the issue isn't the dog, it's the breed.  Which is why it's probably flammable

[whitemerlot]

I'm not a pit bull owner, but I don't allow people to bring dogs to my dinner parties. Just say no if you're uncomfortable.

[Muddled]

I personally think it's weird that someone is asking to bring her dog to dinner.

[gretchenindisguise]

I've known some sweet as pie pitbulls. If she's had him 6-7 yrs, I'd assume she knows her dog well enough. You'll be fine. Your pup will be fine. They will have fun.

[gretchenindisguise]

eta: I answered on the pitbull only aspect. I agree self inviitng your dog to a dinner party is weird, I just assumed there were mitigating factors or something.

[TC]

Just say no. There is no reason to bring a dog to a dinner party anyway.


To elaborate a little more on the pitbull end of things though... 
The pitties at daycare play with the small dogs all the time and there has never been an issue. It's not something my hackles immediately raise at or anything. But the situation in GENERAL is not a good situation for dog friendly behavior. You have two older male dogs, you have never met the friends dogs, the dogs have never met each other, they will be meeting in an enclosed space for a dinner party where guests will presumably be loud and distracted, and it's just... no. This is not how you introduce dogs. 

[bonquiqui]

Nov 8, 2013 15:25:18 GMT -5 pagas said:

I don't care what kind of dog it is, I think it is strange to ask that your pet attend a dinner party with you. I would politely decline their request.

Exactly.  This is so so odd to me.  

[lime]

You can say no to this even if you like her dog.

If you don't want to renege, then have a place for your dog to be that is separate from her dog.

[alzi]

Unless someone is invited for a puppy play date in the backyard I think it's weird to bring your pup. Regardless of breed.

[Deleted]

I agree it's a weird request to bring their dog to a dinner party.

[expatpumpkin]

ETA: We live in London, which is a VERY dog-friendly city. Bringing your dog to a dinner party isn't strange in my circle. Among fellow dog owners - in our circle - it's actually the norm. Dogs come to our parties all the time. So the issue isn't the dog, it's the breed. Which is why it's probably flammable

[bonquiqui]

I am hysterically laughing at this for some reason now.  I am wondering how funny it would be the next time I am invited somewhere, for me to request to bring my cats to dinner.  

[macmars45]

Why does your friend need to bring her dog? Why can't the dog stay home? Is she from OOT?

I've had a friend (who lives OOS) ask to bring her dog to my apt but I have a rescue cat so I just say no.

Good luck with everything; I hope it goes well.

[shostakovich]

All of the pit bulls that I know (owned by friends and cousins) are total softies, and very sweet. They are all rescues, too, and they seem to display such gratitude to their owners and humans that show them affection.

But ditto PPs - it's very weird to ask to bring your dog to a dinner party.

[Muddled]

Nov 8, 2013 15:28:43 GMT -5 expatpumpkin said:

ETA: We live in London, which is a VERY dog-friendly city. Bringing your dog to a dinner party isn't strange in my circle. Among fellow dog owners - in our circle - it's actually the norm. Dogs come to our parties all the time. So the issue isn't the dog, it's the breed. Which is why it's probably flammable

In this case, I think you are worried over nothing.  Make sure she knows you have a dog and ask how her dog is with other dogs. I assume you know how your dog acts around other dogs (in her territory)?  Isn't that what you would do with anyone?

[mrsjuleshs]

I am a pit parent and though my dogs are incredibly sweet and love other dogs, I would NEVER ever invite other dogs to a dinner party nor would I ever ask to take mine. It isn't even about the dog being a pit. Any dog could get anxious with new people and new dogs around. Some dogs, though super sweet who have never displayed any sort of animal aggression could just not get along. Your dog may not take kindly having their territory invaded and the other dog could be anxious about being in a new place. Just a really bad idea if the dogs have never met before.

[dizzydee]

I also find it weird she asked. I love my dogs, but you never know how 2 dogs will interact with each other, regardless of breed. My shih tzu is the worst of my 3. He doesn't like strange dogs in his house. Your dog may not take to having another in it's house, put out a wrong signal and cause a fight. Dogs should meet in a neutral area and a dinner party isn't a place for that. I'd call her back and tell her sorry, but maybe another time.

[TC]

Nov 8, 2013 15:28:43 GMT -5 expatpumpkin said:

ETA: We live in London, which is a VERY dog-friendly city. Bringing your dog to a dinner party isn't strange in my circle. Among fellow dog owners - in our circle - it's actually the norm. Dogs come to our parties all the time. So the issue isn't the dog, it's the breed. Which is why it's probably flammable

Look, this is an unfair way to introduce dogs, all breed standards aside. I can't think of a way to introduce two dogs that is more likely to cause an outburst than this kind of situation/

[papie]

It just seems like a bad situation for a first dog meeting. Food, loud people, small space. I'd be worried too.

[cleo29]

I would just call and ask how her dog is with new dogs. How is your dog with new dogs? My dog, Oscar, is a Pug and has a thing for pitbulls. I mean, he will follow them around humping the air behind them in adoration. I don't know what it is and once I have mentioned this, Pitbull owners have said they noticed the same thing with other Pugs. lol

My point is, if a dog has been socialized well, gets along with other and more importantly new dogs well, then I think i would feel ok.

[kiminky]

I am a pit bull owner and while I think my pit is the sweetest thing around I would not put her in a situation w/ a random, unknown dog for a few hour period. We also have a Lab and we took a lot of time integrating the Pit into the house before just letting the two of them frolick around together. It takes time and sometimes a few little wrestling flare ups (that may seem scary to non-dog owners) before a good, calm balance can be achieved. You can't just make the assumption that the two will adapt to each other in minutes in order to hang out for the evening, no matter what breed.

[lpcats]

As I've said before here, pit bulls used to be used to watch over children. The only aggressive pits I've ever met have been ones that have been trained to be aggressive by their irresponsible owners. That said, I've probably met more aggressive non-pit dogs than pits.

ETA: if both dogs are well socialized with dogs of varying sizes, this shouldn't be a problem.

[bornbaker]

I think worse case would be you need to keep your dog (or theirs) in separate rooms. If the dogs don't seem to be getting along, can you put yours in your bedroom?

If your friend is a responsible dog owner, I would hope she would take her dog home if there are any issues. Plus, if this is the "norm" I don't see someone asking to bring their dog if they're not well behaved and get along with other dogs.

I don't personally own a pit bull, but I do have friends and family who do - they just have a bad reputation. I have never met a pit bull who is mean. I have met one or two who are afraid of their own shadow!

[shopgirl07]

How does your guy do with other dogs? I have an 8 lb poodle mix and he's not too keen on other dogs and he especially hates if any dog comes to HIS house. And the bigger the dog the worse he does. So, for me, I'd have to say hell no (and I never bring my dog to people's houses ever even though he's small and super portable).

[Deleted]

Is your dog ok with bigger dogs?

As a medium size dog owner we're wary of small fluffy dogs. They always seem to get upset with mine just because.

[bcv513]

It sounds like way too much confusion and commotion for both dogs. If she wants the dogs to meet, go to the park or something. A group of people plus food plus a new dog is too much in my opinion.

[expatpumpkin]

A couple of things:

1 - My mind is obviously warped because it didn't even occur to me that the dog-friendly dinner parties would be considered out of the ordinary. I now realize how strange this sounds, hahaha, but it's really normal for us.

2 - Replace "dinner party" with "doggie play date" if the question makes more sense that way.

3 - "Strange" dogs come to our house pretty frequently and our dog is totally cool with it. He doesn't have any territorial issues.

[berbles]

Nov 8, 2013 15:31:04 GMT -5 Nugget T. Brain, The OG said:

If you're that concerned why not ask her to come by early and introduce the two dogs without all of the noise and action of a full dinner party and see how they react to each other.

I was going to say this, too.

In fact, I would highly suggest that you ask her to come over early and you meet at the corner (or something) and go for a 20-30 minute walk with both dogs.  That will help socialize them to each other AND wear them out a little bit, so there's less kinetic energy in your house later.

[goaskalice]

Nov 8, 2013 15:31:04 GMT -5 Nugget T. Brain, The OG said:

If you're that concerned why not ask her to come by early and introduce the two dogs without all of the noise and action of a full dinner party and see how they react to each other.

This for sure. Or at least introduce them outside and then bring them inside.

[expatpumpkin]

Nov 8, 2013 15:38:01 GMT -5 berbles said:

Nov 8, 2013 15:31:04 GMT -5 Nugget T. Brain, The OG said:

If you're that concerned why not ask her to come by early and introduce the two dogs without all of the noise and action of a full dinner party and see how they react to each other.

I was going to say this, too.

In fact, I would highly suggest that you ask her to come over early and you meet at the corner (or something) and go for a 20-30 minute walk with both dogs.  That will help socialize them to each other AND wear them out a little bit, so there's less kinetic energy in your house later.

Great ideas!  I'm going to ask her to come a bit early and then we'll walk them together.  

I just can't imagine that she'd bring a dangerous dog and I'm afraid MY ISSUES about pit bulls are the problem.  I really don't want to prejudge.  If she had a pomeranian/pug/shih tzu/poodle/terrier, etc. this would be a non-issue to me