Inheritance WWYD?

[thinkofthesoldiers]

My sister isn't an addict/pisser away of money/whatever, but she's a bitch to our parents on the regular and causes huge family problems. It isn't her kid's fault that she is nuts. If the kid wasn't in the picture, no way in hell I'd cut a check.

[Deleted]

I don't know. If our mom died and left us money (lol forever) I might share. If my dad left me money, I would not share, just like I wouldn't expect them to share with me if their dad left them money.

[game blouses]

I would, but my mom's wishes are that we "distribute the money according to who needs it more," which is just going to be a shitstorm. I may bow out of the inheritance if it gets ugly.

[papie]

Nov 8, 2013 18:05:37 GMT -5 game blouses said:

I would, but my mom's wishes are that we "distribute the money according to who needs it more," which is just going to be a shitstorm. I may bow out of the inheritance if it gets ugly.

Omg
Does she realize that?
My parents don't even have a will but it guess at least then it will be split equally?

[ginap]

Yes because my brother and I are on good terms. However, if my parents left him out of their will for a specific reason I would respect those wishes and not give him anything.
My FIL is in inheritance hell right now. His mom passed 3 years ago and left about 10k to each of her 3 children. His sister blew through it almost immediately. In March his father died and made FIL executor of his multi-million dollar estate. The estate was to be split any way my FIL saw fit with the instruction that any money give to FIL's sister be put in a spendthrift trust that FIL is in charge of. Sister didn't agree with this decision and a day after their father passed away she was in my FIL's face demanding to know exactly (like to the penny) how much money their father had (cash, stocks, bonds, etc) and demanded to see a copy of the will and has hired a lawyer to contest the will. Because my FIL is a good person she will be ultimately getting over a million dollars in a trust and will be able to live the rest of her life quite comfortably, but that isn't good enough for her and she is suing my FIL and alleging that he is hiding funds and trying to get the clause that the money for her has to be put in a trust voided. He is an emotion wreck about the whole situation.

[game blouses]

Nov 8, 2013 18:07:01 GMT -5 papie said:

Nov 8, 2013 18:05:37 GMT -5 game blouses said:

I would, but my mom's wishes are that we "distribute the money according to who needs it more," which is just going to be a shitstorm. I may bow out of the inheritance if it gets ugly.

Omg
Does she realize that?
My parents don't even have a will but it guess at least then it will be split equally?

It's her way of making sure that my sister (her favorite) gets more, because she's always in financial trouble. I'll suggest splitting it evenly once, then if anyone balks, I'm out and they can settle it. 

[pixelpassion]

Nov 8, 2013 18:08:07 GMT -5 ginap said:

Yes because my brother and I are on good terms. However, if my parents left him out of their will for a specific reason I would respect those wishes and not give him anything.
My FIL is in inheritance hell right now. His mom passed 3 years ago and left about 10k to each of her 3 children. His sister blew through it almost immediately. In March his father died and made FIL executor of his multi-million dollar estate. The estate was to be split any way my FIL saw fit with the instruction that any money give to FIL's sister be put in a spendthrift trust that FIL is in charge of. Sister didn't agree with this decision and a day after their father passed away she was in my FIL's face demanding to know exactly (like to the penny) how much money their father had (cash, stocks, bonds, etc) and demanded to see a copy of the will and has hired a lawyer to contest the will. Because my FIL is a good person she will be ultimately getting over a million dollars in a trust and will be able to live the rest of her life quite comfortably, but that isn't good enough for her and she is suing my FIL and alleging that he is hiding funds and trying to get the clause that the money for her has to be put in a trust voided. He is an emotion wreck about the whole situation.

WTF, her first reaction to inheriting over a million dollars is to be pissed off?

[berbles]

I also have a feeling that when my parents do pass away, my siblings are going to think I'm hiding money/that there's a lot more money.

My mom makes good money and has a good life insurance policy, but she's up to her hairline in debt and has a super expensive home. There likely won't be much money left over for us. But I don't think any of my siblings have the slightest clue about that kind of stuff.

I told mom that I don't want her money, just her house. So she needs to stick around and pay that mortgage down some more before I take over

[LeggsBenedict]

some of my siblings, yes, I would split.

[pixelpassion]

I remember once I snapped at my mom, because she told me that she's entitled to a large part of what I inherit from my dad.

I pretty much "BITCH PLEASE"'ed her, especially in consideration that her and my dad blew the money they saved (and the money our grandparents gave) for my and my brother's college fund on their 7 year long, bitter divorce.

[10nille]

I would not have divided it equally as a few have drained my mom over the years. Luckily, just found out she mortgaged her home and blew it all and is now heavily in debt. Thanks Mom for saving me from being the bad guy.

My Mom played favorites our entire lives. It wouldn't be a shock if she gave more to the irresponsible siblings.

[ginap]

Nov 8, 2013 18:14:43 GMT -5 pixelpassion said:

Nov 8, 2013 18:08:07 GMT -5 ginap said:

Yes because my brother and I are on good terms. However, if my parents left him out of their will for a specific reason I would respect those wishes and not give him anything.
My FIL is in inheritance hell right now. His mom passed 3 years ago and left about 10k to each of her 3 children. His sister blew through it almost immediately. In March his father died and made FIL executor of his multi-million dollar estate. The estate was to be split any way my FIL saw fit with the instruction that any money give to FIL's sister be put in a spendthrift trust that FIL is in charge of. Sister didn't agree with this decision and a day after their father passed away she was in my FIL's face demanding to know exactly (like to the penny) how much money their father had (cash, stocks, bonds, etc) and demanded to see a copy of the will and has hired a lawyer to contest the will. Because my FIL is a good person she will be ultimately getting over a million dollars in a trust and will be able to live the rest of her life quite comfortably, but that isn't good enough for her and she is suing my FIL and alleging that he is hiding funds and trying to get the clause that the money for her has to be put in a trust voided. He is an emotion wreck about the whole situation.

WTF, her first reaction to inheriting over a million dollars is to be pissed off?

Yeah.  It's a disaster.  She sued their mother many many years ago for some nonsense reason and I am SHOCKED that my FIL still has anything to do with her.  I made the decision to cut her out of our lives because she has been such a giant bitch to my FIL and she isn't even technically my family.  My FIL is too caring for his own good when it comes to her.  He is afraid that she will spend all the money and be homeless and penniless and he can't allow that to happen.

[penelope]

I don't know what I would do. My brother and father don't speak, and while my brother started it, my dad is just as bull headed and refuses to mend fences. Bro and my mom have a strained relationship because of it. Bro and I get along fine, but we don't actually spend a lot of time together. When we see each other though, it's not a problem.

I think in the end I would probably wind up handing some of it over to him. If I didn't then he wouldn't speak to me either, and that would suck.

[dfl]

This happened with my husband. He had a step father that he was really close too. His mom and him divorced when he and his brothers were young but DH stayed close with him forever. The stepfather had no children and considered DH and his brothers his but after the divorce he never had a relationship with his two brothers just DH. DH kept that up even into his adult years. The stepfather was a big influence and role model for my husband. When the Stepfather died he left everything to my DH. DH's one brother didn't care and the other one once he found out how much money there was he was pissed and told DH he should share. DH told him to shove it.

[Deleted]

I'd talk to them frankly about it but I think the three oldest would agree that we should give it all to my youngest sister who is only 21. The rest of us are in our thirties and don't want for much. Unless my parents somehow left us like a ton of money and then I'd take some too.

[hopecounts]

barring a legitimate reason for cutting them out (such as being an addict who would blow through it and endanger themselves if they got it) yes I'd split it evenly amongst the siblings.

[angelaa73]

If this happened to me and my sisters, I would definitely split with Rachel and go right over Charity's head and set up trusts for her two kids. because she's a straight nutter. and will pound any and all monies into meth like woah

[textbookcase]

I would split it with my brother and one stepbrother, but not the other. Possibly set up trusts for his kids. He's a horrible person.

[SusanBAnthony]

With my siblings, we would all split it.

If it happened to DH and SIL, we would set up a trust of some kind, either saving it all for my niece, or doling it out to SIL for approved expenses that would allow he to keep the house she will inherit (like paying the property taxes, because otherwise I am sure she will lose the house within a few years).

There is a pretty good chance this will happen, as Mil knows how SIL is with money. I don't think it will ruin Dh's and SIl's relationship, because she knows she is horrible with money, and trusts DH! and will be so happy with the free house. But money makes people crazy, so who knows. Once niece is out of the house, I say screw it, let SIL spend it all and lose the house if she wants to.

[revolution]

I was in this position. We knew about it before he passed away. 1 sibling was left out. We honored my dads wish and kept it the way he requested in his will.

[zoidberg]

My actual brother and sister? Absolutely.

[Deleted]

I would certainly offer half to my brother, but he would probably decline because he knows I need the money more.

[janetplanet20]

No, definitely not. But my brother is a huge ass who I don't get along with and haven't seen in a year. My parents spent tons of money putting him in drug rehab and paying for lawyers when he got a DUI, so I don't feel bad not sharing.

When my parents die they will be leaving us quite a large inheritance with the instructions that I'm to hire a private investigator to find my brother. Obviously they realize I would never share with him otherwise.

[adhdfashion]

If my parents die, I am in charge of it all. Including my younger brothers.

[sonrisa]

I already disclaimed the only inheritance I'm likely to get in favor of my mom. I fully expect her to spend all her assets and rely on us in her dotage.

But imagining the scenario you describe: I could see splitting it, but I wouldn't be willing to pay gift taxes on the split. If I couldn't just partially disclaim to give him his share (because of the way the will or trust were structured), I'd probably make any applicable taxes come out of his portion (or do a staggered gift over a number of years). If the situation were reversed and he wanted to split it, I would expect to either pay any gift taxes or go with a staggered plan.

[CloudBee]

Yes, though I would be tempted to put it in a trust as she's not good with money. (But probably wouldn't have the nerve.)

[sonrisa]

Nov 8, 2013 20:29:49 GMT -5 @misoangry said:

I would certainly offer half to my brother, but he would probably decline because he knows I need the money more.

This made me smile - because I don't think of you as someone who "needs" an inheritance to make things work financially.

My brother is also wealthier than us and the gap will continue to widen (it's only a matter of time before his HHI is an order of magnitude larger than ours). I still assume we'd split things absent tragedy. I also assume we'll split the more probable financial burden equally. I guess I don't know how he would feel, though.

[WOT?*]

We weren't in quite this situation but my dad inherited from his mother and my sisters were rabid in getting "their share" when he died, even before he died. Unfortunately, he put everything in a joint account and his wife spent it and shoveled all but a couple thousand to her kids. My brother has been in inheritance hell trying to get bills and things figured out because he's the executor on BOTH wills (she died about three weeks after my dad and had all the bills and everything locked in a room so nobody except her daughter could go through "her" papers. We have no idea what bills were due for my dad. Fortunately, she gave everything but $2K or so to her family so there was just enough to pay for his cremation. I paid for his memorial service.)

If my mom had a pot to piss in and left it to me (fat chance of that, even if she had a pot) I would split it with my brother much more evenly than I'd split with my sisters. He is in more need, he is more generous (in person and in spirit) than either of them and they tried to disinherit his kids (and in effect my kids as well) so their kids could get a bigger portion. They're greedy, self-serving Sunday Christians who don't give me the time of day unless it's to their benefit or suddenly pops into their heads ("Hey, she's on FB so I'll "LIKE" something! That's communication!") so it wouldn't burst my bubble to keep them in the dark. They'd have done the same to me. They'd split with each other and *maybe* give me a small piece to assuage their guilt. They'd give my brother nothing because he didn't live with our mom after the divorce and grandma and dad paid his way, blah blah blah. They've already screwed him out of part of my grandparents' estate and tried to do worse to his kids.

[aussiecrush]

I have a step sibling that my step dad and I haven't spoken to in over twenty years. My parents will specifies that nothing goes to her, only myself and my children. On the off chance she contacted me I wouldn't split with her.

[Deleted]

Nov 8, 2013 21:37:40 GMT -5 sonrisa said:

Nov 8, 2013 20:29:49 GMT -5 @misoangry said:

I would certainly offer half to my brother, but he would probably decline because he knows I need the money more.

This made me smile - because I don't think of you as someone who "needs" an inheritance to make things work financially.

My brother is also wealthier than us and the gap will continue to widen (it's only a matter of time before his HHI is an order of magnitude larger than ours). I still assume we'd split things absent tragedy. I also assume we'll split the more probable financial burden equally. I guess I don't know how he would feel, though.

My brother essentially earns what I do with an additional zero at the end. LOL.