It's not safe

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[cst2cst]

Does your therapist have anything helpful to say about it? I struggle with this too. I do a lot of self talk and when I'm feeling anxious. In this situation I tell myself "I am not my size". Because it is totally true. I try to separate who I am as a person (my values, attributes) from my appearance. It doesn't fix everything, but it helps. Hugs.

[bonquiqui]

I am sorry that you are dealing with this.  I have issues myself, so I have nothing to add, but ::hugs::

[ElizabethBennet]

I don't have any suggestions, I'm in one of my worst periods of body hating ever, it sucks so much and I'm sorry that you're struggling with it. ((hugs))

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[cst2cst]

One of the hardest and most freeing things for me to understand is that NOTHING would be different if I looked different. It won't make me better at my job, won't make my husband love me any more and won't make me a better person. Initially it was upsetting because OF COURSE being thinner would erase all of my problems. But it didn't and wouldn't. They aren't related, as much as I wanted them to be.
And I totally agree with PP who said that no one notices your flaws because they are worrying about their own. Also, no one thinks about you as much as you do. People at the conference will see your knowledge base and expertise and will not think for one second about your size.
It sounds like you have a good game plan and the conference anxiety might be mixing with regular anxiety. Would it help to focus on working through the presentation anxiety and try to just focus on the content? I wonder if you focus on picturing your skills and working through the presentation if it would remove the focus from your self image?

[Gato]

(((Sbonkers))) But congratulations on being asked to present. That's really great!

Presenting before a large group always gives me terrible anxiety too. At least, thinking about it beforehand. One thing that helped me was just allowing myself to be anxious. It's natural for me. Trying to prevent myself from being anxious was harder and worse then just letting the anxiety be there.

Another thing that always helps me when I'm anxious is writing, especially when the focus of my anxiety is something other than what's really bothering me. I just try to go straight at what's worrying me and write down everything I'm feeling, and also write out a plan for how I can tackle my problem, as well as affirmations that I can do it. Somehow, getting it all out in writing makes it concrete. That helps me focus and get calmer, rather than displace my anxiety to something else.

Last, I want to echo the last poster that size has nothing to do with happiness. When I was a size 2, I was the same person I am now at a size 10. Except, actually, a lot less comfortable with myself because I was younger. Anyway, getting larger (not that a size 10 is large) has in no way affected my friendships, relationships, or how people interact with me. I'm just me, and size is a small part of that equation.