So...tell me about the good things of having 2 kids

[gmail]

The other day, I had a brief flash of "I want E to have a brother" (yes, I know I can't guarantee that) and the thought didn't terrify me.

IDK what happened, maybe it's the Zoloft, but I'm starting to think about what it would be like to have another one. I'm still scared of possibly dealing with PPA and PPD again. I am also terrified of going back through the GAWD AWFUL newborn/infant phases - like no sleep, teething, crying, my PP body, etc.

I mean, I can easily come up with 100 reasons of why I don't want another one. But I honestly don't know the good parts of having more than one.

What are they?

[Deleted]

They can both be ring bearers!

[eddy]

I get to experience parenthood with a totally different perspective the second time around. Leo's babyhood was so zen. I was really in the moment and loved it. I will always cherish those moments and I am so grateful I did it all over again.

First kids you learn on and get to experience everything new. Second kids you savor. :-)

[McGavin]

The playing together and teaching the younger one stuff is really cute. Plus I want DD1 and DD2 to have the bond my sister and I have.

[Deleted]

paid maternity leave? I'm taking 6 months next time. I could rip my IUD out with excitement!

[gmail]

Nov 12, 2013 10:36:55 GMT -5 McGavin said:

The playing together and teaching the younger one stuff is really cute. Plus I want DD1 and DD2 to have the bond my sister and I have.

That's been a sticking point (along with other things, like ya know...money!)

My sister and I aren't really close. DH and his siblings are like BFF buddy buddies. I swear, they have their own language. I know that there's no guarantee of close siblings, but I would want DS to have that bond.

But what if I have another and s/he is a total asshole psychotic sociopath?

[eddy]

I love watching Leo's face light up when Jack walks in the room. It is so pure. Jack loves his little brother as well, but at 17 months Leo just idolizes Jack. Even as a baby Jack's voice was the one he was always head bobbing around looking for.

[flex]

They learn better social skills?

I dunno--I just wanted at least two kids. And they're not all alike. You may have gone through a horrific time with Child #1, but that doesn't mean #2 will also be like that.

[McGavin]

Nov 12, 2013 10:38:29 GMT -5 gmail said:

Nov 12, 2013 10:36:55 GMT -5 McGavin said:

The playing together and teaching the younger one stuff is really cute. Plus I want DD1 and DD2 to have the bond my sister and I have.

That's been a sticking point (along with other things, like ya know...money!)

My sister and I aren't really close. DH and his siblings are like BFF buddy buddies. I swear, they have their own language. I know that there's no guarantee of close siblings, but I would want DS to have that bond.

But what if I have another and s/he is a total asshole psychotic sociopath?

Oh, they'll probably hate each other through the teenage years but I hope they end up close.  

[Deleted]

When they show each other love, your heart melts into a puddle of happy goo.

And matching them. Lol

[eddy]

LOL third respons to this post....

It is fun to watch the different personalities come out. It really shows you how strong the nature portion of development is. I find that sort of thing fascinating.

[Deleted]

Nov 12, 2013 10:42:30 GMT -5 eddy said:

LOL third respons to this post....

It is fun to watch the different personalities come out. It really shows you how strong the nature portion of development is. I find that sort of thing fascinating.

Oh yes. Comparing them is all one fascinating and incredibly lengthy science experiment.

[anlo]

It is a whole new experience. As a mom, you aren't as flustered with your second baby because you've been through it before. At the same time, it's amazing how different babies are. It was fun for me to discover my second's personality and realize how much of an individual he is, rather than doing everything like his big sister.

As they get older, they are much more interested in each other, for better or worse lol. There is bickering, but they play together and DD really looks out for DS.

I hope that they are close as adults. I like to imagine them having each other when H and I are older or gone.

[Deleted]

I'll add to the pips in here.

[CrazyLucky]

Having two kids is awesome. They are more than twice the work and more than twice the awesome. It is so fun to see how much they are the same and how they are so different as DD (16 months) grows. But the best part is the interaction between them. When DD cries and DS tries to comfort her, it's so sweet. When DD comes up behind DS and gives him a big hug and nestles her head on him, I just want to melt. And honestly, even when they are fighting, it just reminds me of me and my siblings.

Also, DS (3.5 years) was a really hard baby. People thought we were exaggerating until they got a chance to spend an evening with him. He had horrible colic, he didn't sleep well, never took naps. DD was the opposite. No colic, slept well, she's my little angel. I have been warned this will change as they get older, and DS will be much easier than DD.

Do you know anyone who had a second and wish they only had one? Just wondering. I'm so glad we have a second. They are both such a joy. That's enough though. We're two and through!

[Booze Raccoon]

Nov 12, 2013 10:44:17 GMT -5 Lucy Honeychurch said:

Honestly, my biggest impetus for having another one was a conversation H and I had in which we realized that when we get old, KHC would have to deal with it all alone and wouldn't have anyone to talk to who would really understand, or be able to help. As much as my sister and I argue and don't get along, it was nice to be with her when my father died; and when my mother dies someday, it will be a comfort to know she's there.

This is what bugs me about having an only.  

[Deleted]

I can't really put into words how wonderful it is to hear them entertain each other. Or how much time I have gained back because they do. They were in Mia's room for an hour yesterday afternoon having a Lego competition. 

Here is an oldie:

Attachment Deleted

[tigress]

My girls love each other. It melts my heart. My 1 year old lately has been getting pissed off when I put her in the carseat. So once I wrangle her in she reaches her little hand over to her big sis to hold hands for comfort. Or if she gets mad at me if I tell her no at home, she goes to her big sissy for hugs and snuggles for comfort. They are so sweet.

[eddy]

You also get to capture adorable moments like this. This is not staged.

[Deleted]

I read these nice things and it kind of makes me want a second.

But then I remember reading other threads with people talking about how hard it is to do things with 2. Plus, I can't afford 2 anyway.

[adhdfashion]

For me the second kid was way easier. Delivery, getting her to STTN, basically everything. They are best buddies and play all day long. Mia has learned to really share and compassion. Nano wants to be big like Mia.

[LauraMoser]

Nothing can melt your heart faster than witnessing the love between siblings. Nothing. DD1 and DD2 are BFFs. They can fight all day long, then they have a moment where DD2 will look at DD1 and say "I love you Baba" (DD1's nn that DD2 came up with) and then they hug. My heart melts instantly every.single.time.

[eddy]

My biggest motivator for having a second child was that I was afraid I was parenting Jack in a way that would make him spoiled. I don't think all only kids are spoiled. I just think I tend to be over indulgent and I was scared what I was creating. So I just had a second, spread myself thin and became more harpy. Win? lol

[keyslover]

You learn that all of the weird stuff the first one does isn't necessarily because you screwed them up, it is just their personality

DD1 is a shitty sleeper, we thought it was something we didn't do that made her that way (lack of routine, food, co-sleeping), turns out, it was just her.  DD2 who we did the same stuff with is an awesome sleeper.  She slept through the night well before DD1.  

It is challenging right now, but it is getting easier.  DD1 is 5 and DD2 is 2.  They play very well together. . .until they don't.  Then all hell breaks loose.  When I try to discipline one of them for creating the hell breaking loose, they turn on me and band together.  Annoying, but cute.  "You can't give my sister a timeout!"  Yet not but two seconds earlier they were ready to rip each others heads off.

They miss each other during the day with DD1 is at preschool.  DD1 reads and teachers DD2 things.  They are very sweet together.

Downfall- I think the second ones grows up way too fast.  I keep thinking she is a baby and she isn't  

Overall, I like the two of them  

 

[BieberMyBalls]

Pretty much as soon as DS1 comes home, they go off and play together. They're happy, and I get some time to myself lol. My favorite is just watching them interact together. They fight like typical brothers, but DS1 is so gentle and protective of his little brother, and they love each other so much. As soon as DS2 sees the bus he gets excited and barrels his brother down with a big hug when he walks in the door.

For me,having a 2nd was so much easier than going from 0-1. I was a lot more relaxed about things the 2nd time around, even with PPD.

ETA: Not to say its all wonderful, because there are times I feel like I'd be a much better Mom to one. There are definitely challenges, and sometimes they're hard to handle, but its worth it.

[noodleskooze]

See, I'm not scared to have a second because the first was tough; I'm scared to have a second because the first has been so great! Then again, he's only 4 months, but the newborn stage really wasn't that bad besides EPing, and I wouldn't do that again anyways.

[PeonyParty]

Don't do it! There's a possibility that someone somewhere down the road might ask only ONE of them to be in their wedding. And then insanity begins.

[Deleted]

Nov 12, 2013 10:33:22 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

They can play together and get out of your hair!

If this isn't true, nobody tell me.

So far this is my favorite thing, but we're starting to peek into "brother always in my space" fighting territory.

We'll see.

[Deleted]

Nov 12, 2013 10:38:29 GMT -5 gmail said:

Nov 12, 2013 10:36:55 GMT -5 McGavin said:

The playing together and teaching the younger one stuff is really cute. Plus I want DD1 and DD2 to have the bond my sister and I have.

That's been a sticking point (along with other things, like ya know...money!)

My sister and I aren't really close. DH and his siblings are like BFF buddy buddies. I swear, they have their own language. I know that there's no guarantee of close siblings, but I would want DS to have that bond.

But what if I have another and s/he is a total asshole psychotic sociopath?

If that is your main motivation for having another child (close sibling relationship as adults), it's a risk. But otoh, if you don't have another baby, then your son definitely *won't* have one, so in that sense it might be a risk worth taking to you. I think for most sibling pairs, it's pretty much a foregone conclusion that they will go through phases of getting along/not getting along.

[litebright]

They play together, which is awesome.

DD2 did almost everything earlier than DD1 because having a little person around who is *alllmost* your size is a big motivator. Walking, talking, using utensils, dressing herself ... DD1 practically PT'd DD2 because all little sister wanted to do was sit on her own potty & listen to DD1 read books from the regular toilet. Great, kids! You go right ahead! Let me know when you're done!

Same for things like letters, numbers, shapes, etc. DD2 is a little sponge & wants to know everything her big sister does.

Fart & poop jokes are always funnier when there is a sibling to laugh at them with you, because grown-ups just don't understand.

If you have two of the same gender, then you get to re-use almost all the cute clothes and it's a lot easier on the budget.