This is really important. You seem like you're playing 1950s housewife or something and if he sees you without your makeup on or with mail piled up on the kitchen counter he's going to pass a gallstone.
Post by shostakovich on Nov 12, 2013 14:04:39 GMT -5
If your mother cooked for and picked up after you (and presumably the rest of the family) until you moved out at the age of 27 (28?), she must be fucking exhausted.
So, step one: Buy your mother a bottle of wine (or some chocolates, if she's not into booze), to thank her for the years of setting an impossibly high standard of cleanliness in which you all lived.
Step two: Forget that impossibly high standard of cleanliness, unless you, too, want to be exhausted.
Chore chart? Block out a few hours one weekend day, every weekend, just to get everything in order the way you like it? And don't ask/tell your husband not to help. He lives there too and contributes to the mess, I'm assuming, so he can contribute to cleaning it up, as well.
I agree. Don't do everything in one day or you are going to burn yourself out. Here is what I use:
Post by SusanBAnthony on Nov 12, 2013 14:36:00 GMT -5
Introducing god into chores.... Never seen that one before.
Go for picking up the crap and keeping the dishes done on weekdays, and one morning of the weekend, vacuum, dust, do laundry, and clean bathrooms. With two adults and an apartment it shouldn't take more than two hours if you keep the misc. crap picked up on a daily basis.
If you both work, it isn't your job any more than your husband's. This is the 21st century. Sounds like he doesn't have a problem with doing his share of the chores, so you're lucky. YOU just have to get over it.
Whenever I am feeling overwhelmed, I look at what's on my plate and take something off. We all have a comfort level with how busy we like to be. Some people are Type A and that's fine; they get a lot done. (Whether what they do is worth doing is another argument.) It's also okay to need a lot of downtime. If you do, simplify your life.
Chore chart? Block out a few hours one weekend day, every weekend, just to get everything in order the way you like it? And don't ask/tell your husband not to help. He lives there too and contributes to the mess, I'm assuming, so he can contribute to cleaning it up, as well.
I agree. Don't do everything in one day or you are going to burn yourself out. Here is what I use:
Really? I'm exhausted just looking at this. A load of laundry a day? Do people really do that?
And lol at make the bed. That's for when company's coming.
I agree. Don't do everything in one day or you are going to burn yourself out. Here is what I use:
Really? I'm exhausted just looking at this. A load of laundry a day? Do people really do that?
And lol at make the bed. That's for when company's coming.
LOL, it's a start! I've adjusted that list so much since my schedule has gotten busier. We usually wash clothes every couple of days or the clothes will pile up for us. Some of the other stuff I save for the weekend.
But at least it can be a template for her. With two people working on chores and picking up after themselves, it shouldn't be as hard. Just don't let everything pile up.
I have all the books I could need, and what more could I need than books? I shall only engage in commerce if books are the coin. -- Catherynne M. Valente
Post by thebreakfastclub on Nov 12, 2013 15:10:09 GMT -5
Is that you, Anna Duggar? Is this a call for help?
But seriously, I think it's imporant to just identify what is important to you re: housework and make sure that gets done. I need to have the kitchen clean and dishes done or in the dishwasher, the the bed made and the bathroom mostly tidy. I try to put stuff away nightly rather than let it pile up. I start laundry Thursday nights and finish over the weekend.
That is all I worry about. Everything else could be falling down. You and your H are a partnership now, so strive for what works for the two of you.
I'm sorry, but this is odd. Even if you lived with your mom until you were 28, why the hell was she doing everything for you? My H and I just got into a groove that worked for us, we share duties.
Post by jojoandleo on Nov 12, 2013 15:33:17 GMT -5
People have clean homes every night? Not just for when company comes? I like to let my clutter stack up so I can do it all at once. It makes me feel efficient. Why shred this one piece of junk mail when I can wait and do 20 at once!
Post by RoxMonster on Nov 12, 2013 18:09:23 GMT -5
It's OK if your standards of cleanliness for your house with your H are different than the ones your mom kept.
Growing up, my mom vacuumed/cleaned/dusted almost every single day. She would come home from work and do that at night. I just....can't. And don't want to. The hardwood gets vacuumed every other day because my dog's hair shows up like crazy on it. But the other rooms get vacuumed weekly, we dust weekly, we do laundry maybe twice weekly. My parents had loads of laundry going every damn day. Not happening in my house.
When I say different standards of cleanliness, I don't mean live in filth and never clean, but you do NOT have to come home and dust and vacuum every single night, even if your mom did it that way. Set your own standards. Set up a schedule with your H that you can both live with. Divide things up how you see fit. Give yourself a break.
People have clean homes every night? Not just for when company comes? I like to let my clutter stack up so I can do it all at once. It makes me feel efficient. Why shred this one piece of junk mail when I can wait and do 20 at once!
Totally. This is the way to do it, people.
It's eye opening to read these "chore calendars."
I kind of hate having people over but sometimes I force myself to invite them just because it'll be worth it to have a clean house again for awhile. lol