What cheers you up after a bad race?

[gt7301b]

Mr. GT has been pretty grumpy since his failed BQ attempt, so I thought I should try and cheer him up rather than smack him and tell him to suck it up and stop being so grumpy.

Any ideas?

[cinco]

Poor guy! My H usually tells me to suck it up , but will also buy me wine and treats. After DH's not so great marathon I just kept telling him he did great, it was a really hard course, everyone ran way off their times (I don't know how much this is true, but he likes to hear it ). I also took him to Burger King and bought lots of beer. Hopefully others will have better ideas, b/c mine sound pathetic, unless you like crappy food and booze like the hubs and I.

[grk2012]

Cake.

[osulori]

Treats. Beer, wine, crappy food (fried food, pizza, ice cream, cake...you name it), and whatever else comes to mind.

[grk2012]

My H would rather just be left alone to pout, and I don't think it's my job to put on a clown suit and try to bolster his mood. He'll come out of it when he's ready; I just carry on, encourage him to continue his weekly runs, and offer sympathy if he brings me into it.

[Deleted]

After my bad race on Sunday (to be fair, it was a failed sub 30 5k attempt, not exactly in line with BQ, but you know), I wanted to be consoled for a while, not encourage. Let me be sad for a bit. Then we can move forward, and moving forward for me usually includes beer and a burger.

[thom]

That's a tough one. Treats & wine for me, but not so much for my H. Though he also likes wine. My H loves to go out for a movie night if it's something he's been waiting to see.

Usually my he also just needs to be left alone to sulk for a little while after a big disappointment. It's rough, but time will heal.

Maybe help him choose & plan for another race? (Or maybe it's too soon..)

[enfuego23]

anything with frosting cheers me up:) Beer and anything I cook for him, cheers DH up. DH also loves to go out to eat so I will surprise him with that on occasion.

[lb2006]

I had a pity party for one after my first DNF race (a marathon) in 2011. I had time to myself while waiting on my H & friends to get back to the car. When i saw him, I cried a little about it and then moved on. We continued to celebrate everyone else's great races and had champagne, continued on with our vacation - and I was fine. I still completed 14 miles, injured, so i just needed to focus on making the smart decision to stop. Pride is a hard pill to swallow

[hannahb]

Wine usually does the trick for me. Maybe help him pick out another race and come up with a training plan?

[Brit]

My H is best left to sulk until he is ready to move on. A nice bottle of whiskey seems to take the edge off.

ETA: For me, I need to start planning for the next race.

[libbygrl109]

Usually, it's a pity party for one, including whatever food I'm craving at the time. Other than that, DH just gives me my space to get over myself.

[gt7301b]

Thanks ladies!!!

I think I'm going to make a cake and give him till the end of the week to whine and sulk. I'm fine if he wants to sulk in the corner, but his Eeyore attitude is bringing me down.

He is planning his next race, last night he had pretty much every marathon on the east coast written down along with the average highs and lows for that date plus a backup race in case he gets sick. But he is still telling me he’s never doing another marathon.

[venice2007]

Steak and bj for my h

[runblondie26]

It's usually scouring the Internet to find another race, either to run immediately as a re- do (if half marathon or less) or in the future as a goal to work towards (marathon).

[katinthehat]

sympathy sex?

[emuni04]

Alcohol. Ha. Retail therapy, bad food.

And time.

[jene]

I am a big fan of sex, wine, and chocolate treats. Any order will do

[jordylee]

Honestly, I don't feel 100% better until I run another race and redeem myself. I take some time off, then run a 5k or 10k and crush it.

But in the meantime, ice cream (specifically blizzards) works

[gumi]

Nov 20, 2013 11:07:27 GMT -5 gt7301b said:

Mr. GT has been pretty grumpy since his failed BQ attempt, so I thought I should try and cheer him up rather than smack him and tell him to suck it up and stop being so grumpy.

Any ideas?

I say smack him and tell him to suck it up!

For every great race, there is a less than great race.  As an athlete, it is important to understand that and be able to reflect and move on.  As much as we would all love every race to be perfect, that is not the sport.  If you can't handle the disappointment, get out of the game, ya know?

I agree with those who suggested a shorter race though for redemption.  Maybe he can do a turkey trot!

[chw57]

Nov 20, 2013 11:17:45 GMT -5 grk2012 said:

Cake.

And beer.
And signing up for a revenge run.

[trigal]

Nov 20, 2013 21:09:02 GMT -5 gumi said:

Nov 20, 2013 11:07:27 GMT -5 gt7301b said:

Mr. GT has been pretty grumpy since his failed BQ attempt, so I thought I should try and cheer him up rather than smack him and tell him to suck it up and stop being so grumpy.

Any ideas?

I say smack him and tell him to suck it up!

For every great race, there is a less than great race.  As an athlete, it is important to understand that and be able to reflect and move on.  As much as we would all love every race to be perfect, that is not the sport.  If you can't handle the disappointment, get out of the game, ya know?

I agree with those who suggested a shorter race though for redemption.  Maybe he can do a turkey trot!

I'm kind of like this. Get over it. In the grand scheme, it's just a race. You could tell him about my friend's two missed BQ's, while his wife has qualified a few times. In his second attempt, he missed by seven seconds.

[gt7301b]

Nov 20, 2013 21:09:02 GMT -5 gumi said:

Nov 20, 2013 11:07:27 GMT -5 gt7301b said:

Mr. GT has been pretty grumpy since his failed BQ attempt, so I thought I should try and cheer him up rather than smack him and tell him to suck it up and stop being so grumpy.

Any ideas?

I say smack him and tell him to suck it up!

For every great race, there is a less than great race.  As an athlete, it is important to understand that and be able to reflect and move on.  As much as we would all love every race to be perfect, that is not the sport.  If you can't handle the disappointment, get out of the game, ya know?

I agree with those who suggested a shorter race though for redemption.  Maybe he can do a turkey trot!

I'm doing this on Friday.

I really think he needs to see a sports psychologist if he actually wants to BQ or maybe just give up on the BQ goal and be happy winning age group awards in 5Ks - half marathons.  Obviously, it is no piece of cake to go out and bang out a 3:05 marathon, but every physical indicator says he should be able to run a sub 3:00.  He clearly can't break through miles 23-26.2 and just gives up.  This time he was on pace through 23 and then walked the rest when he was a little off pace and said he wanted to save himself to try again in December.  I know those miles are tough, but he could have easily run/walked and cut 10-15 minutes off his time.  But what it looks like to me is he was more afraid of being short by a minute or two than having a "slow" marathon.

[shauni27]

well I have not run any races that are that intense with such a loft goal, but I had two races where I finished 15 minutes and then 35 minutes after my goal time (once I got sick, and once it was 90 and humid...). I was pissed I was so slow but I was SO proud of finishing in the shitty ass conditions that I did not care that I had not met my goals or PRd (or even been close). So I am not much help.

But he is in a funk and mad and himself and disappointed. I would say let him be, be supportive, and soon he will come out of it. Sorry you are in that situation, and sorry to your husband

[gumi]

Nov 21, 2013 7:51:32 GMT -5 gt7301b said:

Nov 20, 2013 21:09:02 GMT -5 gumi said:

I say smack him and tell him to suck it up!

For every great race, there is a less than great race.  As an athlete, it is important to understand that and be able to reflect and move on.  As much as we would all love every race to be perfect, that is not the sport.  If you can't handle the disappointment, get out of the game, ya know?

I agree with those who suggested a shorter race though for redemption.  Maybe he can do a turkey trot!

I'm doing this on Friday.

I really think he needs to see a sports psychologist if he actually wants to BQ or maybe just give up on the BQ goal and be happy winning age group awards in 5Ks - half marathons.  Obviously, it is no piece of cake to go out and bang out a 3:05 marathon, but every physical indicator says he should be able to run a sub 3:00.  He clearly can't break through miles 23-26.2 and just gives up.  This time he was on pace through 23 and then walked the rest when he was a little off pace and said he wanted to save himself to try again in December.  I know those miles are tough, but he could have easily run/walked and cut 10-15 minutes off his time.  But what it looks like to me is he was more afraid of being short by a minute or two than having a "slow" marathon.

The marathon is a very mental game.  He probably can run sub-3, but he needs to figure out a way to deal with the discomfort.
So, instead of wallowing in disappointment, he can spin this into a positive situation because now he knows exactly what he needs to do in order to be successful next time. Maybe he needs to do more pace runs with Miles 18-22 at race pace.  But moreso, I think he needs to work on his attitude. He seems very negative in general.  He is choosing to fail, rather than try because of fear of failing.  He needs to trust himself and his ability.  He needs positive self-talk.  foundmylazybum has a blog post on this topic, I think?

[gumi]

also, I just want to add that it is okay if he does not like the marathon.
not all runners need to be marathon runners

[gt7301b]

Nov 21, 2013 9:38:37 GMT -5 gumi said:

Nov 21, 2013 7:51:32 GMT -5 gt7301b said:

I'm doing this on Friday.

I really think he needs to see a sports psychologist if he actually wants to BQ or maybe just give up on the BQ goal and be happy winning age group awards in 5Ks - half marathons.  Obviously, it is no piece of cake to go out and bang out a 3:05 marathon, but every physical indicator says he should be able to run a sub 3:00.  He clearly can't break through miles 23-26.2 and just gives up.  This time he was on pace through 23 and then walked the rest when he was a little off pace and said he wanted to save himself to try again in December.  I know those miles are tough, but he could have easily run/walked and cut 10-15 minutes off his time.  But what it looks like to me is he was more afraid of being short by a minute or two than having a "slow" marathon.

The marathon is a very mental game.  He probably can run sub-3, but he needs to figure out a way to deal with the discomfort.
So, instead of wallowing in disappointment, he can spin this into a positive situation because now he knows exactly what he needs to do in order to be successful next time. Maybe he needs to do more pace runs with Miles 18-22 at race pace.  But moreso, I think he needs to work on his attitude. He seems very negative in general.  He is choosing to fail, rather than try because of fear of failing.  He needs to trust himself and his ability.  He needs positive self-talk.  foundmylazybum has a blog post on this topic, I think?

The funny thing is he usually is super positive, the marathon is just his kryptonite.  Some friends of ours were waiting with me for him to finish and once it was clear that he missed his goal I commented that I thought he was walking or abandoned the course if he could.  They were shocked, cause that person only shows up around marathon time.  I even think he is there physically, he followed Pfitzinger's 50 mile plan and everything seemed right on with his training and then race day comes and he self distructs.  Sure it was a little "warm", but plenty of people BQ when the temps are in the 50s (I'm sure you wouldn't think that was warm).