When did you find out your SO's salary?

[appleaday]

When did you find out your SO's salary? Did it come up in conversation? How did you find out?

[gibbinator]

We met in university when we were both essentially jobless. But the salary for his career is publicly available so we knew what his income would be before he even landed a job. So, I've always known.

[protozoa]

In high school, before we were dating he said how he made $6/hr at his cooking job. I thought he was a baller (heart)

BUT I assume that is not quite what you are asking for...

[Deleted]

We were both Ph.D. students when we met so we compared stipends, lol.

He has shared his salary with me as soon as he has known it in every subsequent job he's had.

[Kore]

We worked for the same company. I was in HR. I knew before we officially met (I'd had my eye on him for months).

[pamela]

Hmm...I really don't remember. He got a promotion to my supervisor 2 weeks after we started dating and I don't think I found out that early. I know it was before we got engaged though.

To me, it didn't matter much at the time because they were both our college jobs so what mattered more what what he was going to do after graduation. That one I found out when he got the offer letter (we were about 6 months from getting married).

[Deleted]

Within the first month I think. I dont remember how it came up.

[starburst604]

We met on Match and he had checked off his salary range. I can't remember when I learned the exact amount, pretty early on though.

[Deleted]

We work for the same company. We are unionized so all salaries are pretty common knowledge since everyone if the same position makes the same thing.

[Deleted]

We started dating in college, so neither of us had a salary until we had been dating for years. So I found out when he got his offer for his first full-time job.

[Susie]

Nov 21, 2013 8:31:02 GMT -5 v said:

We started dating in college, so neither of us had a salary until we had been dating for years. So I found out when he got his offer for his first full-time job.

Same, except college law school.

[megataco]

I don't think we've ever flat-out asked, but i could be wrong. I feel both of us probably offered it up in conversations. He was in the process of buying a house when we met, so it seemed to be part of his day-to-day at the time.

[Deleted]

Within the first year. We had the same job and he was pissed at the company that I made $5k more than him.

[mbcdefg]

We met in college, so we were always pretty open with each other once we got FT jobs.

[justjen]

Pretty early on, but I don't remember when precisely. Right when we started dating, he was prepping to apply for MBA programs, partly because he was sick of being an underpaid editor. So i know the conversation happened in the first few months. I'm also an editor, and at the time made a good deal more than him, so he was definitely right in feeling underpaid.

He's only had one job since he got his MBA, and I knew that salary from the start. But since so much of it is based on commission, I honestly have trouble even remembering what his base pay is. Whoops.

[Deleted]

We started dating when we were in university and working at a movie theatre. We were married by the time we had "career" jobs, so I've always known his salary.

Plus, I'm in the money person in the household so he can barely tell you what he makes. He just knows there's money in the bank account, lol.

[justjen]

Nov 21, 2013 8:47:36 GMT -5 appleaday said:

So, er, would you say it's bad that I still don't know SO's salary after dating 2.5 years? He's a clinical labs manager at a large well-known hospital but any sort of salary search I do brings up a wide range of potential salaries. Hmm.

Have you asked him? Does he know yours? Are you planning a future together?

I would say its a bit odd ...

[Deleted]

I'm with protozoa - we started dating in HS, so talked about how much we made per hour...and we've always been open (and slightly competitive about it, candidly) ever since.

[fbf2006]

He was still in college when we started dating (he immigrated here later than I did) and I was applying to grad school I believe we both found out immediately we got our first offer letters.

[ddi741]

A few months after we started dating I helped balance his check book and write out his bills so I would see his paystubs etc.  Everything was very out in the open from early on.

[les]

I have been dating my boyfriend just under three months and found out his income about a month ago. We were discussing our respective budgets and spreadsheets and he showed me his.

[Deleted]

Nov 21, 2013 8:47:36 GMT -5 appleaday said:

So, er, would you say it's bad that I still don't know SO's salary after dating 2.5 years? He's a clinical labs manager at a large well-known hospital but any sort of salary search I do brings up a wide range of potential salaries. Hmm.

I don't think it's "bad" - as long as you are aligned financially (i.e., SO isn't spending crazy amounts on credit card, you don't fight about money type stuff), I wouldn't think that knowing the exact dollar amount is necessary...however, since you have been together so long, I think it's natural to have a more in-depth financial conversation.

I wrote this on another post yesterday, but real intimacy is sharing FICO scores and W2s  Sexy stuff, I know!

[Deleted]

Nov 21, 2013 8:55:36 GMT -5 les said:

I have been dating my boyfriend just under three months and found out his income about a month ago. We were discussing our respective budgets and spreadsheets and he showed me his.

LOVE this!

[Pom]

Nov 21, 2013 8:24:24 GMT -5 monsterz said:

Within the first month I think. I dont remember how it came up.

+1

[polarbearfans]

We started dated in college, so salary was part of the discussion talking about job possibilities as they came up.

[anna7602]

I learn the exact amount every year at tax time. It's hard to keep track of raises, etc. and with all the withholding, 401K, etc. taken out of his paycheck, I don't do the math to gross it up. I just know what he takes home every month and have a general idea of what it is total.

[lishie]

We met in college when we were both jobless. When he got his first offer letter, we were living together. I made him negotiate for more than they offered. He was successful

I've known about all subsequent raises since then.

[Deleted]

I don't think it's too bad. I knew DH's net pay, raises and retirement contributions in terms of percentages, and bonuses since before we got married, b/c we signed paperwork on our home before we were engaged, but I didn't know his gross salary. It didn't matter in the grand scheme b/c you can only spend on your net, not gross.

[shaynaatl]

We were in grad school when we started dating. So I found out when he got his first job offer.

[halfpint]

Maybe a month or so into dating. He sort of casually dropped it into a conversation about job satisfaction, he was talking about his transition from a contractor to permanent hire, and threw out, "I was really pleased that the move finally got my salary to the $$ range".