Do you ever feel as if you missed your calling?

[bowies]

I do. I didn't have a lot of guidance in choosing a career when I was in college. My parents told me they wouldn't support my education if I chose something creative because that just meant I'd end up working as a waitress. I toughed out a business school major for a year before I changed it to something creative-ish. Business school made me miserable. I had talked about being a psychologist or a lawyer when I was in high school, but again my parents wouldn't support a career that required more than 4 years of schooling. Both of them had one employer their entire careers and were extremely risk-averse. That kind of thinking - find a secure field that involved an office and benefits - was my sole influence.

I have a lot of regrets from that. I really wish I had been confident enough to explore other options or smart enough to utilize the career guidance counselors. I think I would be really happy as a therapist (not necessarily a psychologist). I had no idea there were other paths to that career other than getting a doctorate. Now I feel as if it's too late. I'm too set in my ways and too cheap.

Most of this line of thinking comes courtesy of me feeling miserable at my job. This isn't new. I've been phoning it in for a long while and I've tried new assignments within my company in an attempt to jump start my interest. No dice. I've just been making it worse, sadly. H thinks I should finally leave my company after maternity leave and find a new industry that is compatible with my experience. He thinks I'm just tapped out and bored. I don't know about that. I feel like I've just been wasting the past 12 years building a resume I hate.

Can anyone relate? What would you rather be doing?

[bowies]

Oh, and even though I have a degree in something creative-ish, I've barely ever used it. What I do for a living is the opposite of creative.

[Deleted]

I wish I was doing something creative rather than science related. I really love being an advocate for the environment, but I really feel like being an engineer stifles me.

[tiramisu]

I both can and can't relate. I always knew, when I was working corporate jobs, that I would become a therapist some day. I looked at dance & movement therapy and sometimes regret that I didn't double-major in psychology & dance, or at least minor in dance, so that it would have been easier for me to pursue a degree in dance & movement therapy, but I'm glad I ended up where I did. I went to school part-time in the evenings, one class at a time, one month at a time, and put things off so that my degree took longer than it was "supposed" to. I'm SO glad that I've done it, even though it was a long, hard road and I had to accept lower pay than I would've been making in the corporate world until I got licensed. Hell, I'm still probably making less than I would be had I stayed in the corporate world, especially since I was management-track/lower-level management, but it's worth it to be doing what I love.

I don't think it's too late, if you really want a change. My field is one many people come into a little later in life, once they've had some other experience that leads them to it. I think it makes you a better therapist to have some life under your belt first, honestly. But I think if you're burned out where you are now it would be good to think about a change.

[ECB]

Yup. I ended up getting some training in HTML and did a little web work. I loved it. But it was only a small piece of my job. it made me realize there are aspects of the IT world that I probably would have enjoyed had I been more aware. But 1- not doing the research in high school/colllege didn't help, and 2- being a few years too old before the breakout of the web didn't help either.

[captainmel]

I am probably the opposite of this. I waited quite a few years after high school to make the decision of starting school. Now I'm getting a Fashion Design degree and I'll probably need food stamps but I love it.

[partiallysunny]

Sometimes. I think I would have made a fantastic lawyer. Or a teacher.

But I also think there are down sides to both professions. My current profession allows me to be both creative and technical, I have great hours where I see my kid awake (finally), and I get a sense of accomplishment.

You can't beat that.

My last job I did almost the same thing and I was miserable. Don't underestimate how much your place of employment can drag you down.

[starburst604]

Yes. I wish I had gone to nursing school. I ended up in the medical field anyway but wish it was in direct patient care rather than the business side. It got to the point where I wasn't willing to give up a good and reliable salary to go back to school full time. Now that I'm working on having a family I feel like it's out of reach again. I do think that my H's income has the potential in the next few years to get to the point where I could go to school while he supports us and not be struggling. I figure that even though I'm almost 40 I probably still have at least 20-25 years until retirement. That's a long time to keep doing something I'm not passionate about.

Although, I also wanted to become a fitness instructor and I'm finally getting certified for that so at least I'll have that on the side.

[Deleted]

Nov 24, 2013 22:20:34 GMT -5 ECB said:

Yup. I ended up getting some training in HTML and did a little web work. I loved it. But it was only a small piece of my job. it made me realize there are aspects of the IT world that I probably would have enjoyed had I been more aware. But 1- not doing the research in high school/colllege didn't help, and 2- being a few years too old before the breakout of the web didn't help either.

The thing that sucks is that you are supposed to make this decision when you are 18-20 years old. I mean, back then I had no clue about anything in life much less what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. And if you entered college and didn't start the science track as soon as you stepped in the door, you were effed. 

[ECB]

Nov 25, 2013 8:24:57 GMT -5 doglove said:

Nov 24, 2013 22:20:34 GMT -5 ECB said:

Yup. I ended up getting some training in HTML and did a little web work. I loved it. But it was only a small piece of my job. it made me realize there are aspects of the IT world that I probably would have enjoyed had I been more aware. But 1- not doing the research in high school/colllege didn't help, and 2- being a few years too old before the breakout of the web didn't help either.

The thing that sucks is that you are supposed to make this decision when you are 18-20 years old. I mean, back then I had no clue about anything in life much less what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. And if you entered college and didn't start the science track as soon as you stepped in the door, you were effed. 

So agree!  There are a lot of layers to this (for me) - my personality, what was put in front of me, where I was pointed by my parents, etc.  But a part of it was also just simply age.  How are you supposed to know what you want to do at that age?

I will say, though, that once I got into the web stuff- I wish I had pursued it.  I had the time and the $$ if I had wanted to do it.  But I didn't.  I was lazy.

However- and this is a "don't let age hold you back" thing - I'm in my first semester of grad school.  It's for a degree that goes very much hand in hand w/ what I do career wise.  I'm in training.  I like training, but I like the DESIGN of training better.  I like creating the training (which is largely web based, so there is a connection!).  So - I'm going back to school for it.  I've been stalled in my career and while the "downtime" has worked for me (w/ having a young kid), I look down the road a few years and think "If I keep doing what I'm doing, I'm going to REALLY be stuck".

So, I get tuition remission and finally decided to take advantage of it. 

But back to the age thing too- I'm 43.  I now have a better view of the world and what I'll need and where I want to go.  I know I need to be more proactive.  This is a view and insight that I didn't have 20+ years ago. 

This still isn't "my calling", but I'm HOPING this will lead me down a path that might help me find more joy in my job than I do now. 

[cuddlyevil]

Yep. I have an affinity for legal and research type work. Some of the guys I worked with at one of the start-ups told me I should be an engineer because I had so much fun building test blocks for a prototype.

Once things settle out for me, I may try and go back but it'd have to be on Saturdays, evenings, or online.

[neonpink]

I really enjoy my many parts of my job. I am creative and it's a great feeling to make people happy. I do feel that I'm under appreciated where I am and need a serious raise. Part of that is the economy and my own fault for not asking.

I've known the creative world is where I need to be since I was a kid. I started as a graphic design major and switched to Interior Design. I still do Graphic design and have done a lot of it for my firm as well as wedding invitations on the side.

If I could change it up a little I would want to work in the car industry. I love cars and driving them or designing them would be a dream.

[gault]

Sometimes.

There are jobs I'd love to have, but the pay is crap. So I stick with HR. Parts of which I love and parts of which make me want to stab someone, and then myself.

[sillygoosegirl]

Nov 24, 2013 22:12:34 GMT -5 doglove said:

I wish I was doing something creative rather than science related. I really love being an advocate for the environment, but I really feel like being an engineer stifles me.

Since when was engineering not a creative line of work?  I'm sure not all engineering jobs involve creativity, but many do.  

[mrsukyankee]

Nov 24, 2013 21:54:55 GMT -5 bowies said:

I do. I didn't have a lot of guidance in choosing a career when I was in college. My parents told me they wouldn't support my education if I chose something creative because that just meant I'd end up working as a waitress. I toughed out a business school major for a year before I changed it to something creative-ish. Business school made me miserable. I had talked about being a psychologist or a lawyer when I was in high school, but again my parents wouldn't support a career that required more than 4 years of schooling. Both of them had one employer their entire careers and were extremely risk-averse. That kind of thinking - find a secure field that involved an office and benefits - was my sole influence.

I have a lot of regrets from that. I really wish I had been confident enough to explore other options or smart enough to utilize the career guidance counselors. I think I would be really happy as a therapist (not necessarily a psychologist). I had no idea there were other paths to that career other than getting a doctorate. Now I feel as if it's too late. I'm too set in my ways and too cheap.

Most of this line of thinking comes courtesy of me feeling miserable at my job. This isn't new. I've been phoning it in for a long while and I've tried new assignments within my company in an attempt to jump start my interest. No dice. I've just been making it worse, sadly. H thinks I should finally leave my company after maternity leave and find a new industry that is compatible with my experience. He thinks I'm just tapped out and bored. I don't know about that. I feel like I've just been wasting the past 12 years building a resume I hate.

Can anyone relate? What would you rather be doing?

I'm applying for a PhD as a 45 yr old - it's never too late to go back to school. You could still do it - get your master's degree (takes no time at all) and become a therapist!

[starrieskies]

Sometimes.

I love my job and I work with some amazing people, but I sometimes miss the face to face interaction with people. I spend 8 or 9 hours on the phone or at the computer and have very little face time with my customers. I was one of those people who spent years in retail and loved it. I do a fair amount of customer service type duties now, but it's all from a distance.