The Parental Fight That Wasn't

[partiallysunny]

My brother called me a month ago, asking if I had an issue with having Thanksgiving at his house. I said no. He said he's make the arrangements.

A couple days later, he sent me a text saying dinner was (this past) Saturday.
We wait for H's schedule to come out and schedule everything around those Saturday plans. ILs on Friday, stay the night, brothers on Saturday. Works well, because it's all the same town, about 2.5 hours from where I live now.

A week before I try to call my mom to ask if I should bring anything. No answer (no surprise). I call my brother, since it would be at his house. He asks if I'm going to my mom’s (which is an hour and a half from the town my ILs and my brother are in). What? You said it was at your house? He says my mom won't come to his house because she’s not bringing a turkey from her house to his house. I ask why she would make the turkey, if it's at his house. He said she was Hell bent on it. Says my mom said it's okay if I can't make it.

WTF. We could all be together if my parents would go to my brothers, like originally planned! But it's okay that I can't make it. Let’s force two families with toddlers to travel instead of one family, no baggage, and not give a shit if half can't make it. Because of a fucking turkey. I was pissed. (This is where I was at on Wednesday.)

When I confronted my mom, she denies that, saying my brother refused to cook and she wasn't going to cook and then bring everything to my brothers. (My brother still denies he ever refused to cook and says my mom has been adamant this whole time that she has to make the turkey.) My mom also said she said it was okay if I didn't make it because my brother told her that I said that I didn't think I was going to make it because of other plans I'd made with my ILs. Which isn't true! We made plans with the ILs based on the plans my brother made with me first.

I don't know what to think. I’d bet my brother is the one lying, but why? To make himself look better?

Dinner (at my parents) on Saturday was fine, except when my mom swatted my kid. He didn't do anything wrong and the look on his face was one of utter shock (which made me laugh, so in the moment I wasn't upset, but thinking about it later that night I was irritated I didn't say anything to my mom about it).

We also made plans for Christmas so "there wasn't any misunderstandings", which is what my mother is caulking this all off as. I am not, and I don't trust my brother as far as I can throw him.

[Deleted]

Wow wtf? Why would your brother make up so many lies? That's messed up.

[partiallysunny]

Idk DL. He's always been really competitive, but... This is bizarre. Even for him.

[Deleted]

What do you mean your mom swatted you son, and he didnt do anything?

Is there a reason you believe your mom and not your B?

I'd be makuing plans to stay home for xmas

[cuddlyevil]

Dude. I am sorry PS. Why all the lies on his part?

[partiallysunny]

I'm not sure. My brother is manipulative, in general, so I tend to believe the person not my brother. Though I guess it could have been a bit of both. She could have been lying about making a fuss about the turkey and my brother could have been lying about how much of a fuss she made... It's so confusing.

My niece and son are around the same age. They were wrestling/play fighting. It's something they do a lot. They giggle and laugh the whole time, and no one has ever gotten hurt so I just watch and make sure no one is doing an elbow drop. Well, my son hit my niece and my mom swatted him on the butt. But she was sitting on him 5 seconds before that, so...

I did point out that they were playing and she didn't comment on it.

[captainmel]

I totally understand why you were mad. That's a big pile of shit.

[gault]

[neonpink]

I hate drama-rama like that. I wonder what the real story was. I'm betting a bit of both.

[sparkythelawyer]

I feel like more than your brother is lying here. My thought is that he asked mom to help with the cooking, she decided that eff that it was going to be at her place then, and when you got upset suddenly it was a "big misunderstanding." Lots of lying here.