so yeah, its Thursday

[partiallysunny]

I started my period yesterday and, oh boy, I was a major Bitch.

And I wanted to eat everything. EVERYTHING.

So, ah, does anyone else get like that sometimes? Like, some months, your hormones are so crazy you wouldn't mind if your spouse met with an unfortunate accident?

I'm usually not like that. I feel terrible today.

[dixienormous]

totally, PS.

I'm running on fumes. Going to bed too late, waking too early. I'm a mess. Tonight there will be no crafting. PF has a therapy session and when that's done it's dinner and bed for her and me following an hour later. I don't care that I won't see H tonight. Too fucking tired.

Despite the tired, I'm in a pretty good mood (for now). Last night was the last night of Hanukkah and PF LOVED her new toys and stuffed animals. I had her color on a wooden picture frame to give to H and he loved it (this is the first time he wanted a gift from her - that's a long BS story for another time). She actually chose what she wanted to do for him. I gave her the choice of making him something from clay or doing the picture frame. She pointed at the frame and then at her markers.

Did I mention that I'm in the middle of the most bullshit project EVER at work? I'm re-typing recipes into a particular format for an app that we're having developed for patients. The original format is such a mess that it's taking me twice as long to do it. It's something like 500 recipes and this needs to be done by 12/23. So I've only around sporadically, that's why

[cuddlyevil]

Yep. Example: last night I saw the holiday kuerig ad (the one where the daughter and the dad both forget their gloves at school/work). I yelled "But he didn't even use the machine right!" at the tv because he didn't do a clean flush in between the hot chocolate k-cup and the coffee k-cup.

My period hasn't shown up yet, but it's nigh.

DS#2 passed out on the couch as soon as they got home last night. He woke up around 2am, had to pee then got upset because he was still in his clothes, so I got him in his pj's and he asked to "nuggle". So we snuggled for a but, then I put him back to bed--he slept until 7:30 this morning.

[partiallysunny]

dixienormous Yay for PF! I'm so impressed she picked out the project. Your H better love the crap out of that frame!

That project sounds like crap. One that I'd put off found for as long as possible.

[Deleted]

Our Willow is having surgery to extract her tooth this morning. I'm nervous - she hasn't been under since she was a puppy and got spayed. I hope it all goes okay and that she will feel much better once this really broken/rotten tooth is out of her mouth.

[cuddlyevil]

Poor Willow! I hope she wakes up happy and is better soon.

[partiallysunny]

cuddlyevil I never flush my Keurig. Oops.

Yeah, this crap attitude started Tuesday. When I wanted pizza and picked up a Vanilla Coke and peanut butter M&Ms before heading home.

As soon as H saw the coke, he knew.

What he didn't know was he should have run for the hills.

[dixienormous]

Poor Willow! I'm sure she'll come out fine and be smiling at you with a non-rotten smelling mouth (for a dog) in no time!

[partiallysunny]

doglove hope everything goes well. Poor Willow.

[Deleted]

partiallysunny - I'm like that all the time I get my period. ADs have helped easy the crazy emotional roller coaster I go through, but yeah I become a raging b!tch and want to just cry and eat everything in sight.

[cuddlyevil]

PS, you're only supposed to do it after the hot chocolate because it can clog the machine. I am the mistress o'machine maintenance around here so I get twitchy about that stuff anyway.

[partiallysunny]

Fuck. I cried Sunday and a little on Tuesday night and I wanted to cry last night, but i yelled at myself not to.

I hope this was just a fluke.

[Deleted]

Dec 5, 2013 9:19:21 GMT -5 partiallysunny said:

Fuck. I cried Sunday and a little on Tuesday night and I wanted to cry last night, but i yelled at myself not to.

I hope this was just a fluke.

Maybe stress too? 

[partiallysunny]

Dec 5, 2013 9:19:03 GMT -5 cuddlyevil said:

PS, you're only supposed to do it after the hot chocolate because it can clog the machine. I am the mistress o'machine maintenance around here so I get twitchy about that stuff anyway.

I didn't know that. I haven't used any hot chocolate yet, but I've been wanting to (tis the season).

What do you do? Just run it with no kcup in it?

[partiallysunny]

Dec 5, 2013 9:20:07 GMT -5 doglove said:

Dec 5, 2013 9:19:21 GMT -5 partiallysunny said:

Fuck. I cried Sunday and a little on Tuesday night and I wanted to cry last night, but i yelled at myself not to.

I hope this was just a fluke.

Maybe stress too? 

Hopefully. No one else in my family needs to be on antidepressants.


I thought it was funny.


Now I'm wondering how much of the stupid bickering in the last few weeks had been my stupid hormones.

[cuddlyevil]

Dec 5, 2013 9:21:07 GMT -5 partiallysunny said:

Dec 5, 2013 9:19:03 GMT -5 cuddlyevil said:

PS, you're only supposed to do it after the hot chocolate because it can clog the machine. I am the mistress o'machine maintenance around here so I get twitchy about that stuff anyway.

I didn't know that. I haven't used any hot chocolate yet, but I've been wanting to (tis the season).

What do you do? Just run it with no kcup in it?

Yep. Do it as soon as you're done making your hot chocolate, just pull the k-cup out, close it up and run it once. It's pretty easy.

[Deleted]

Dec 5, 2013 9:26:27 GMT -5 partiallysunny said:

Dec 5, 2013 9:20:07 GMT -5 doglove said:

Maybe stress too? 

Hopefully. No one else in my family needs to be on antidepressants.


I thought it was funny.


Now I'm wondering how much of the stupid bickering in the last few weeks had been my stupid hormones.

I'm not sure what this means? 

[partiallysunny]

Dec 5, 2013 9:28:41 GMT -5 doglove said:

Dec 5, 2013 9:26:27 GMT -5 partiallysunny said:

Hopefully. No one else in my family needs to be on antidepressants.


I thought it was funny.


Now I'm wondering how much of the stupid bickering in the last few weeks had been my stupid hormones.

I'm not sure what this means? 

Just that if it continues, I may need to see a doctor(I was really unreasonable last night)... You mentioned having to go on antidepressants for it... Almost everyone in my immediate family is on antidepressants...

I'm sorry. Just trying to make light of a situation I find stressful. If my odd humor upset you, I will delete it. I'm not trying to be offensive.

[Deleted]

I went on ADs because I was depressed, but yes they also helped with my highs and lows during AF. There's nothing wrong with getting help through a difficult/stressful time, I just hope you know that. I realize it was a joke, but I don't understand the mentality of "too many people on ADs" that there doesn't need to be any more. If you need/want to try them than there is nothing wrong with that.

[partiallysunny]

Dec 5, 2013 9:35:52 GMT -5 doglove said:

I went on ADs because I was depressed, but yes they also helped with my highs and lows during AF. There's nothing wrong with getting help through a difficult/stressful time, I just hope you know that. I realize it was a joke, but I don't understand the mentality of "too many people on ADs" that there doesn't need to be any more. If you need/want to try them than there is nothing wrong with that.

Ah. I thought you went on antidepressants just for the mood swings. I really meant no insult to you (or anyone else).

I don't really believe there can be"too many people" on antidepressants. But I am fearful that depression (among other things my family suffers from) is hereditary. Being diagnosed or put on antidepressants would freak me the fuck out. Likes its inevitable I'd end up like my dad. Which is probably not even true, but that's what went through my head when you mentioned it.

Hence the awkward joke. I do that when I'm nervous or worried.

I hope I'm explaining this well.

[gault]

Keurig people make me jealous! I really want one of those.

ps, don't worry if you go on AD's for awhile. Ditto what DL wrote above. It's like taking care of a broken ankle... would be stupid not to put it in a cast while it heals.

[Deleted]

Dec 5, 2013 9:46:10 GMT -5 partiallysunny said:

Dec 5, 2013 9:35:52 GMT -5 doglove said:

I don't really believe there can be"too many people" on antidepressants. But I am fearful that depression (among other things my family suffers from) is hereditary. Being diagnosed or put on antidepressants would freak me the fuck out. Likes its inevitable I'd end up like my dad. Which is probably not even true, but that's what went through my head when you mentioned it.

Hence the awkward joke. I do that when I'm nervous or worried.

I hope I'm explaining this well.

There's nothing wrong w/ being diagnosed w/ depression though - especially if you are depressed KWIM? Ignoring it and living with it without treatment is really only hurting yourself. I think about the years I suffered (in silence) and I really want to kick myself because I had no idea that I didn't have to live with those burdens for so long. 

Like gault said, treating it is just like treating anything else that would be physically wrong with yourself. I just don't want you to think there is anything wrong with getting help, taking ADs or even having depression. Lots of people have it and it is manageable and you don't have to end up like your dad (I don't know the backstory of that, but if you take steps to help yourself if you have depression than I imagine you will be okay).

[partiallysunny]

Dec 5, 2013 9:49:56 GMT -5 gault said:

Keurig people make me jealous! I really want one of those.

ps, don't worry if you go on AD's for awhile. Ditto what DL wrote above. It's like taking care of a broken ankle... would be stupid not to put it in a cast while it heals.

I bought my Keurig from a friend. The only reason I have one was because it was a steal.

You're right. And so is doglove. If I need to, I need to. It doesn't mean I'm going to end up like my parents. I'm still hoping its just a fluke, though. I'm going to have to keep an eye on myself.

[starrieskies]

I went to bed early last night and laid in bed for hours. I finally got up at around midnight and took some melatonin. That made getting up at 430 super fun.

I think I'm going to skip the gym tomorrow morning since I'll be out late at the Christmas party. I'll make it up on Saturday. Crap that reminds me, I have to buy a gift for the gift exchange.

[cuddlyevil]

We have a keurig at work, but not at home. They aren't as reliable as they should be.

[partiallysunny]

doglove oh, I thought I complained about my parents enough that their issues were common knowledge.

My dad is diagnosed as depressed, bipolar, schizophrenic, and as having ADHD.

My mother is also depressed.

Both are on medication, with varying degrees of success. My father has a tendency to take his medication infrequently and in the wrong dosage. Hence the frequent trips to the psych ward.

And yes, I know that when properly managed, disorders such as those can be managed. But if there is something in my dads head that tells him he shouldn't take medication the way he should, who's to say I'll take my medication the way I should? YKWIM?

Its not the medication that is the issue to me. Its the "what is" that go along with it.

[Deleted]

partiallysunny - yes sorry, I forgot!

[partiallysunny]

I'm sorry you slept crappy last night starrieskies

[gault]

Just remember that what's going on with them... is not what's going on with you. I totally understand the fear of "becoming" what you see, especially with the genetics involved. But you're not them. Your situation is different, and more importantly, you're more self-aware and realize the proper and appropriate actions to take, you know?

[tiramisu]

partiallysunny your dad's diagnoses and a diagnosis of depression are very far apart. Medication compliance tends to be lower in people with bipolar disorder or schizophrenia. That's not to say that if you went on anti-depressants that you would always take them perfectly, because everyone's had the experience of thinking they're well enough to stop taking something. (Why do you think we have that warning to finish all antibiotics?) But it's also not to say that you would purposely not take your medication as prescribed, either.

Going on ADs is a personal choice, and a difficult one. I'm not going to say you should or shouldn't. Just think about them. And remember that you are different from your parents. By acknowledging all of this and seeking some kind of help/support you are taking care of yourself, which is really important to do. Sorry, I'm rambly and not terribly coherent, no coffee for two days and still sick. But please just think about what kind of support you might need/want (therapist, ADs, support group, etc.).