Just after my last post, my exH showed up. I had been updating him all through this via text because he doesn't ever answer my calls. He was here until about an hour ago.
We conference called his attorney (from our divorce) who suggested we file the PPO paperwork, let the judge deny it, and she will then file for a hearing with the prosecuting attorney's office for a no-contact order, which is not in civil court but criminal court.
DS & I filled out the paperwork and he & his dad took it back to the courthouse while I stayed here w/Nicholas. Now we wait until it goes before the judge and we wait. It more than likely won't go before the judge until tomorrow. More than likely it will not be granted due to the "two incident" rule, although exHs lawyer said that another incident 2 weeks ago when Brad told another student if DS & Mary ever dated he would "end them" would definitely be considered an "incident", even though the clerk that we met with earlier said that it would not count as a previous incident because Brad did not threaten DS & Mary directly, basically heresay, so we did not include it in the original report.
DS is on lockdown here right now for his own safety until we iron some things out. Mary is welcome to come here and hang out, but I don't want him over there unless Mary's dad is home.
I also think it's probably a good idea that Mary and DS doesn't hang out for now (i.e. the next couple of days). There's no reason to wave the red flag in front of the bull when he's clearly THAT unstable.
That's really scary Ruby. I'm so sorry... Is DS taking it seriously or does he think you're all over reacting?
Oh wow, how scary. I'm sorry your DS and you are having to deal with this. I hope it all gets taken care of, so your son and Mary can feel safe again. And I hope Brad gets the help he needs ASAP.
I also think it's probably a good idea that Mary and DS doesn't hang out for now (i.e. the next couple of days). There's no reason to wave the red flag in front of the bull when he's clearly THAT unstable.
That's really scary Ruby. I'm so sorry... Is DS taking it seriously or does he think you're all over reacting?
DS is taking it seriously, he has been dealing with Brad's mental decline and has been trying to help him through the cutting and suicide threats. He knows that Brad is really, really unstable.
He's basically just crushed that it's come to this.
Im just not in agreement with DS & Mary ending their friendship right now, just for Brad's sake. I think he will take it as a sign of empowerment and will then feel as if he & Mary can be together without DS "in (his) way".
It would be very inconvenient for them, as well, as they carpool together to college 45 minutes away every Tuesday & Thursday (they both are dual enrolled in high school & college).
They have both spent the whole school year with some of their group blaming them, both independently and as a couple, for "breaking" Brad. They really only have each other and a few friends who are aware of the ENTIRE story to depend on. Brad has been very effective in making their friends choose: either Brad OR DS & Mary as friends, not both.
I think they need to stick together and be aware of their surroundings. I do not want them to be alone together, though, without another adult around.
It is DS2's best friend for years. This kid has become more and more mentally unstable over the last 9-10 months. Friend ("Brad") and this girl ("Mary") dated for 5 months, she broke up with him and he's become obsessed with her. Mary & DS were good friends with Brad, Brad didn't want DS to be friends with Mary, he wanted Mary to be only with Brad.
Brad started cutting, threatened suicide, and broke into Mary's house and bedroom. He was then sent to his mothers house for a 2 week "decompression". He is still not right.
DS & Mary went to the Winter dance Saturday. Brad told others at the dance that "Mary and DS are done", DS didn't hear of this. This morning Brad texted DS before school: "I'm going to kill DS", obviously meant for someone else.
I've been at the school, police station, and court all morning trying to get a PPO. They will not grant a PPO until Brad makes another threat. The police officer was going to "talk" to Brad. That's all they can do.
This kid is not rational and needs inpatient help. The school is taking it seriously, and has suspended Brad for at least 10 days until his psychiatrist signs a waiver for him to come back to school.
These kids are all 17&18 yo.
I haven't read the replies, but can you get Mary's parents to speak to the police about Brad breaking in to their home? Talk to the students at the dance? Will any of them speak to the police and tell them that Brad threatened your son then?
This is all so sad, but I'm so worried for your son!
[quote author="Ruby Gloom" source="/post/4857120/thread" timestamp="1386628217" They have both spent the whole school year with some of their group blaming them, both independently and as a couple, for "breaking" Brad. [/quote]
Kids are such ignorant assholes. How unfair for your DS & Mary.
You're handling this like a champ. Keep us updated! That poor Brad needs done serious help, stat.
Post by laceylaplante on Dec 9, 2013 18:49:03 GMT -5
First of all, I am so sorry that you and your DS are having to go through all if this. I think keeping him under your roof for a while is a very wise decision.
I am appalled that after the recent history of teens "snapping" left and right, the police aren't showing more concern. I am very glad to hear that you are filing the paper work anyway. Yeah, angry teens are a lot of talk, but nothing should be taken lightly. Your DS, in my opinion, should continue his friendship with the girl as usual. Just taking a break from eachother, then all of the sudden hanging out again might send the kid into a full blown rage when everyone's guard is down.
I hope that that kids gets the help he so obviously needs, and more so hope he is full of shit and your DS isn't in any real danger. Hugs to you.