Another student threatened to kill my son this morning

[Ruby Gloom]

It is DS2's best friend for years. This kid has become more and more mentally unstable over the last 9-10 months. Friend ("Brad") and this girl ("Mary") dated for 5 months, she broke up with him and he's become obsessed with her. Mary & DS were good friends with Brad, Brad didn't want DS to be friends with Mary, he wanted Mary to be only with Brad.

Brad started cutting, threatened suicide, and broke into Mary's house and bedroom. He was then sent to his mothers house for a 2 week "decompression". He is still not right.

DS & Mary went to the Winter dance Saturday. Brad told others at the dance that "Mary and DS are done", DS didn't hear of this. This morning Brad texted DS before school: "I'm going to kill DS", obviously meant for someone else.

I've been at the school, police station, and court all morning trying to get a PPO. They will not grant a PPO until Brad makes another threat. The police officer was going to "talk" to Brad. That's all they can do.

This kid is not rational and needs inpatient help. The school is taking it seriously, and has suspended Brad for at least 10 days until his psychiatrist signs a waiver for him to come back to school.

These kids are all 17&18 yo.

[Deleted]

Sad. I hope Brad gets help. I am sorry.

[isabel]

Ugh, how scary. I hope his psychiatrist is able to do something to help him and keep him from harming your son or anyone else.

[emjacobs]

I'm glad that the school is taking this seriously and not trying to brush it under the carpet.

[styme46]

Wow. I'm glad the school is taking this seriously at the very least. I hope Brad gets the help he needs.

[Deleted]

That is really scary. It's hard to believe that the police can do nothing else.

At least the school is on top of it.

How is your DS handling it?

[winelady]

How scary. I hope brad gets the help he needs and good for the school for taking this seriously.

[Deleted]

tamb literally posted the exact words in my head.

good luck (that sounds weird, but you know what i mean).

[livinitup]

What are Brad's parents saying?

[Ruby Gloom]

DS is upset, mostly because he feels bad for Brad AND for Mary. But Brad has been so unhinged for so long that DS is kind of tired of dealing with it.

I'm upset because the police & court system really can't do anything.

I'm afraid that this kid will just go into the school and shoot up the yearbook room (where DS, Mary & Brad all have class together). The school doesn't have metal detectors, locked/monitored doors, etc., as we live in Podunk, Michigan. I really am afraid that this kid is really mentally/emotionally unhinged.

[Ruby Gloom]

Dup

[5hole]

You are handling this well. That is so scary!

[julez]

I can't believe the police can't do anything. Your son's life was threatened, in writing, by a student with clear previous troubling behavior.

This is awful, and I'm so sorry that you're going through it.

[Gato]

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I really hope this kid gets some help. What do his parents say? Do you know what his home life is like?

T&P to you. I hope the situation deescalates.

[kwx2]

This is some scary stuff! The police cant use the text message as proof??? That is just awful!

[rosiedozie]

I'm so sorry - I hope that they're able to come with a solution that will keep your son and Mary safe while getting Brad the help that he needs.

[Deleted]

i'm sorry that you're so nervous. i would be too. i'm glad you've alerted the school.

[hereigo]

whoa.

That is crazy that the police aren't taking this more serious.

[Ruby Gloom]

Brad lives with his bio mom's ex-h, who Brad found out 1-2 years ago is not Brad's bio father. His mom lives in Florida. This revelation that Brad's bio dad is not who he thought he was is (I think) the catalyst for this whole ordeal.

Brad does not know his bio dad. And the father that raised him is kind of a prick. DS & Brad were best friends, together all the time, smart kids, well-dressed and somewhat picky about their appearances, so Brad's dad continually calls them "butt buddies" and makes derogatory remarks about them being gay. He really is an ass, and is sort of eye-rolly about Brad's mental decline. I'm not sure that he will take this at all seriously b

[karmasabiotch]

The police should be doing more than they are doing. I get that the court can't get involved at this point but the police sure can. They need to go out to Brads and do a psychatric check to see if there is immediate danger.

IMHO

[Ruby Gloom]

Dec 9, 2013 12:41:58 GMT -5 @kirkette said:

I'm sorry you are going through this.
I'm side eyeing the school right now. What is this "two week decompression" and 10 day suspension?
Why Brad isn't under a involuntary 72 hour psychiatric hold. He's made both threats to himself & to others.
Those are two instances where the school should've conducted threat assessments, and if the threats were valid, called in your city's department of health Psychiatric Emergency Team.

I'm not really sure what a Psychiatric Emergency Team is, or if we even have one because we really do live in Podunk.

The school seems to be taking it more seriously than the police and court system is. We spent over an hour at the police station and at least as long at the courthouse, but they "can't force this kid to seek mental help."

They just recommended that DS & Mary don't continue their friendship together in order to "avoid pushing Brad's buttons."

I AM SO FRUSTRATED!

[suzyp]

Dec 9, 2013 12:48:11 GMT -5 Ruby Gloom said:

Dec 9, 2013 12:41:58 GMT -5 @kirkette said:

I'm sorry you are going through this.
I'm side eyeing the school right now. What is this "two week decompression" and 10 day suspension?
Why Brad isn't under a involuntary 72 hour psychiatric hold. He's made both threats to himself & to others.
Those are two instances where the school should've conducted threat assessments, and if the threats were valid, called in your city's department of health Psychiatric Emergency Team.

I'm not really sure what a Psychiatric Emergency Team is, or if we even have one because we really do live in Podunk.

The school seems to be taking it more seriously than the police and court system is. We spent over an hour at the police station and at least as long at the courthouse, but they "can't force this kid to seek mental help."

They just recommended that DS & Mary don't continue their friendship together in order to "avoid pushing Brad's buttons."

I AM SO FRUSTRATED!

Holy shit - seriously?

[Deleted]

"Don't continue their friendship"?? Really?? That's fucked up. I'm so sorry. I hope the school can provide a better plan.

[tulip]

So they need to end a friendship so Brad gets his way?!? The fuck?!?

Call the news and get this shit out for tax payers to hear. Is the judge voted into office? I'd make it my life mission to get him voted off that bench.

[hopecounts]

Is Brad 17 or 18.
If 17 I'd speak to the Dad and outline the legal risk he is taking by not committing Brad to a mental facility today bow that he is on notice of Brad's threats, and use that to pressure him to do what needs to be done.
If he's 18 unfortunately his hands are tied until Brad is found to be a legit threat to himself or others, though he could push for a court eval its difficult to get.

[anodyne]

So they need a second threat? What if both you and Mary's parents come together for a PPO? Would that work around their effed up "rules"? Threat #1 - breaking into Mary's house, threat #2 - text about your son?

I have no clue how these things work so disregard if it is a stupid idea.

I hope all 3 get some peace soon.

[Jermys]

Jesus, Ruby, how awful! I hope nothing comes of this and it's just stupid teenager bullshit, but it really sounds scary and I'm glad you're taking it seriously. Your poor son

[murdock]

Kirkette has excellent suggestions as that would move things along in a similar manner to my state as well.

There should be a school or district social worker- contact them. A threat assessment should really be done.

I'm so sorry.

[pugz]

this is beyond fucked up. The kid has a history of hurting himself and is now threatening homicide. There is no question that this qualifies him for a mandatory inpatient evaluation and stay. In my state it would be a 96 hour hold. Police would take him straight to the psych hospital and judge with would sign off on the hold.

and threats to personal safety can get you a PPO in my state as well.

I am so sorry. I would keep pushing the police to take him in for an evaluation.

[hopecounts]

Can you contact the closest mental health hospital for asssitance?
they typically have a caseworker who knows the ins and outs of involuntary commitment/ local mental health law and may be able to help put pressure on the police Brad's Dad to get him in on an involuntary hold given his previous acts and his threat.