I realize my mom is a "big girl" and can make her own decisions, but i really feel like she just isnt thinking rationally right now. She is obviously depressed and unhappy and pretending to be happy go lucky. Its def taking its toll on her. I can see it. She is constantly getting sick, she is run down, tired, anxious, etc etc
Ive talked about it before here, my dad is a major alcoholic (33 plus years!), she refuses to leave him and she completely enables him (does his laundry, cooks, cleans, drives him everywhere, at his beck and call ) She also works full time as an aide to students with special needs, so she is busting her butt.
One of her coworkers who is struggling, has asked her to watch her two girls (5 & 9) during the week on MOnday's from 330 - 930. My mom has been doing this since summer. Im tired of it, i feel like she is getting taken advantage of, she wont speak up or stand up for herself and keeps saying "Yes, yes Im giogn to tell her i cant do it anymore after Monday, after Wed, after thanksgivign, after xmas........"
meanwhile my dad is drunk during all this and the girls are being exposed to that, which im not happy about. Their mother is well aware and seems to care less.
ive had it. I am just tired of people walking all over my mom and her doing nothing about it. I this just something out of my control. Ive talked to her, offered her therapy info, al anon meetings. I get her out often and try to do things for HER that she enjoys, but she is so lost and puts on a front that she is "happy", its killing me inside
It sounds like you've done all you can. It's her choice whether she wants to change the situation or not. My MIL is married to an alcoholic and is adopting her grandchild from his drug abusing daughter. I have learned that I cannot change any of it but I can decide how I want to proceed and react to it.
I think you should go to Al-Anon. And keep going until you find a group that really fits your needs around your mom and dad. It may take some effort, so I really, really think you should invest some time with them ... in yourself.