5yo who can't be alone

[Willis Jackson]

DS is almost 5. He can't stand to be alone. Like, ever. He follows me throughout the house, all day long. Taking dishes individually from the dining room to the kitchen? Two feet behind be the whole time. I run to my bedroom to grab chapstick? He's right behind me. He asks me accompany him to the bathroom every single time, and he accompanies me every time, too. He drops what he's doing every time I start to leave the room. If he ever loses track of me and is 5 feet behind me instead of 2, he'll ask, "Where were you?" when he catches up.

He used to be okay being alone in his room at bedtime but now he wants me to snuggle him until he falls asleep. He ropes his 2yo sister into coming with him if he wants to go somewhere else in the house and I'm not willing/able.

Weird? Normal? It's pretty annoying.

[Deleted]

I think its the age. My 5 year old's new thing is to tell us that he is scared of everything, even going to the bathroom alone that is 5 feet away from the living room where we are sitting. I ask him what he is scared of and he just tells me "everything." Also, following me outside when I take the dog out. I am hoping he outgrows it.

[Willis Jackson]

Dec 10, 2013 12:55:19 GMT -5 jenny1980 said:

That's really annoying. Honestly, I would start working on some boundaries with him. Lu isn't quite four and she now knows that she needs to give people privacy in the bathroom (and generally she requests some privacy as well). I would maybe start there and see how it goes.

He used to have boundaries, lol. Now he just whimpers outside the bathroom door while I'm in there, like a puppy. I can tell that he's genuinely freaked out.

ETA: he also used to ask for privacy (especially when pooping) but now insists on company.

[Deleted]

Dec 10, 2013 12:55:19 GMT -5 jenny1980 said:

That's really annoying. Honestly, I would start working on some boundaries with him. Lu isn't quite four and she now knows that she needs to give people privacy in the bathroom (and generally she requests some privacy as well). I would maybe start there and see how it goes.

When my DS was 3, he understood that and wasn't scared of anything  All of that can change with a blink of an eye, trust me. Kids!

[Willis Jackson]

Dec 10, 2013 13:03:07 GMT -5 jenny1980 said:

Dec 10, 2013 13:00:44 GMT -5 Willis Jackson said:

He used to have boundaries, lol. Now he just whimpers outside the bathroom door while I'm in there, like a puppy. I can tell that he's genuinely freaked out.

ETA: he also used to ask for privacy (especially when pooping) but now insists on company.

Oh good. Something to look forward to LOL.

How is he at school (preschool or kindergarten)? Have his teachers said anything?

They say that he's a sweetheart and very patient. Their bathroom is right next the the classroom and the door doesn't close all the way so he's never alone there either.

He begged to stay late to have lunch at school (an optional add-on) but asked to quit after 2 weeks.

[imojoebunny]

My son isn't quite that bad, but he definitely likes to be close to another person. He cries if I take out the trash or go upstairs without him. He is almost five. Thank goodness most of our main rooms are open to each other. My DD had a lovey, and she did, and still does take it everywhere. That was enough for her. We call DS " the barnacle" because we are his loves. He is sitting elbow to elbow with me now, while I eat my lunch. This would be fine, if he wasn't also playing a game that requires him to use his arms, and I wasn't eating soup.

[vanillacourage]

I think it's a little much, and probably irritating, but not abnormal or a cause for concern (especially if this is a new thing - I'd be more worried if he'd never even considered the concept of privacy).  I would try to talk with him and see if there's been some recent trigger to his neediness.

[rootbeerfloat]

DS is like this. If I run upstairs to do something and leave him downstairs, he flips out. DD frequently accompanies him to the bathroom. They also sleep together most nights, which we encouraged because it gives US more freedom at night. In K, he was scared to go to the bathroom by himself, so we worried almost every day that he would have an accident.

When he was 4.5, we went on vacation and he got locked temporarily in the bathroom in our room. He was anxious even before that, but that certainly didn't help.

We humored him initially (which possibly wasn't the best strategy), but when we tried the opposite approach, we realized he was truly afraid. So mostly, we've waited it out. The school bathroom situation resolved itself with time. And this morning, he even sat in the car by himself while I ran DD into preschool. (People may flame that, but whatever.) It was one of the first times he actually opted to stay somewhere by himself, which for us, is a good thing.

[ryry]

So what you're telling me is I'm never going to be alone again, ever?

Awesome.

DD1 does this now (almost 3) so no advice. It drives me nuts sometimes now, so I can't imagine how annoyed I'll be in two years!

[mslhb]

My 5.5 year old isn't quite that bad but I can definitely relate. She has gotten way more "scared" of things over the last 6 months. We have now gotten in the bad habit of laying with in her bed every night while she falls asleep. And if I don't just stay with her she typically comes and gets me at 2am. Not sure how we are going to stop this. We have started discussing that when she turns 6 she will be a big girl and can sleep by herself. I am hoping that it is a phase but I know at some point I will just have to be firm about the boundaries.

[Marmee]

My DD2 was way more scared of rides at Disney at 5.5 than she was at 4.5. So maybe it's a developmental stage. I'm pretty sure my DD1 needed to be near me quite a bit back then but my others aren't so bad. They clung to their siblings instead.

[dbsk8dance]

DS has just decided to be scared of the bathroom at my in laws. It's weird. We turn on the lights with him and then leave him to it.