auberge that is nuts! The dirty thing I could maybe let slide, I often say "do you like my house? It's decorated by a two year old." But the joint? Yeeeeesh. DH recently dumped a male friend b/c he offered DH beer and cigars during his kid's birthday party. DH was like "umm, shouldn't you be upstairs with your daughter? I'm sure she's wondering where her daddy is during her birthday party."
he dumped a friend because he offered him a beer and cigar, seriously?
Except that @supergreen's DH seems to think that it is. My take-away from this thread is that people don't want their kids spending too much time in houses with values too different from one's own values. That's all well and good up to a certain age, but I am pretty sure that by the time DD is in high school, I am not going to have the chance to really get to know the parents of many of the kids she hangs out with.
Oh, my DH does not think pot and beer are the same. Far from it. I was just sharing our own experience with other parents having bad judgement. DH and I would totally accept beer if we were having dinner with friends, but not at a 3 year old's birthday at 11am. Sneaking off to drink at your kid's birthday party shows bad judgement IMHO.
And yes, I don't want DS spending time with people whose values differ significant from our own. Those parents are going to pass their poor values on to their kid, who will then pass it on to my kid. I know I can't control everything, but for now when kids are young (aka not 16), I do have control over who they hang out with.
Holy judgmental. There is nothing wrong with drinking at a child's bday party.
See, I'm not a pot smoker, personally, but for plenty of people it's no different from having a beer or glass of wine. I would have to be in the situation to get a read on the type of person it is, but I know enough responsible, successful adults and parents who smoke recreationally and manage to care for their children just fine.
In any case, I don't really understand the OP. What does the play date have to do with sleepovers?
Hmm let's see....the fact that we walked into a filthy house and within minutes they offered us drugs. My point is it validated my H's fears of leaving our son at someone's else house.
Also, no matter how you feel about marijuana it's not appropriate to offer a stranger illegal drugs while your kids are playing a few feet away. It's clearly not like beer or wine.
Hmm let's see... you said that your H is "super protective," so I assume you'd be doing a home visit (like this one) before you'd consider letting your kid sleep over somewhere. Therefore, I was confused by you deciding that because you disapprove of the home of your kid's friend, your H's fears regarding sleepovers are completely founded. That's a big jump.
As for "It's clearly not like beer or wine"; "clearly" according to whom? Obviously, you. Probably a majority here on this board. But to many people, taking a hit of pot is no different from drinking a beer. They don't feel any different. Here in Washington state pot is being legalized. It will be regulated by the same people who regulate alcohol. Since it is illegal in your state, I agree that the guy's judgment was poor in offering it to your husband.
And again, I don't smoke. Not a fan, personally. I drink beer almost nightly.
I don't think people care much about the technical effects and which one is worse.
The social stigma is there for a lot of people, and I think it will take a while for it to get anywhere near the same level as alcohol, whether it's legal in a few states or not. Tobacco smoking is legal everywhere, but I judge the hell out of people who smoke in homes with kids.
Holy judgmental. There is nothing wrong with drinking at a child's bday party.
Heh, my 2 yr old's bday party was from 10:30 to 1. We had beer available and mimosas. People hung around pretty much all day, but they were damn glad to see the mimosas that we had for brunch. I hope that @supergreen isn't implying that people who drink at kids bday parties have poor judgement, but it really doesn't sound like it.
Come on guys. She's made it clear at least twice now that it was more that the dad didn't want to be at his kid's own party, more than he just had a drink at it.
Heh, my 2 yr old's bday party was from 10:30 to 1. We had beer available and mimosas. People hung around pretty much all day, but they were damn glad to see the mimosas that we had for brunch. I hope that @supergreen isn't implying that people who drink at kids bday parties have poor judgement, but it really doesn't sound like it.
Come on guys. She's made it clear at least twice now that it was more that the dad didn't want to be at his kid's own party, more than he just had a drink at it.
Thank you! Yes, ijack and @barefootbarista as I said already, it was more that the other Dad sneaked off to drink. The birthday party was two doors down in the common area, and he invited DH to go back to their house to drink and have cigars. If you've never had a cigar before, a full size one takes about 45-60 mins to smoke. So DH thought it was poor judgement that the other Dad was missing his own daughter's birthday party to smoke and drink.
1 - i'm team H on this, i'm just not comfortable with sleepovers until he's at an age to know right from wrong. i'm talking, like, teens. h is kind of on the same page. a few exceptions.
2 - i don't care or judge what ppl do in their own home but damn, not if we're guests and we barely know each other! that's ballsy.
I think I'd be far more worried about what my teen was up to at a sleepover than a younger kid. When I was little we used to stay up late playing board games and (rarely) prank calling. As a teen we snuck out my friends window to wander around the neighborhood (and we were pretty square teens!).
I'm sad that more people in this thread don't have friends they would trust to watch their kid overnight. I'd say my DD1 has 7 friends I can think of off the top of my head that I would be comfortable with having a sleepover when she's a little older. Maybe because her friends at this age are really just kids of our friends. I'm looking forward to taking turns having the kids over or having a night off!
Come on guys. She's made it clear at least twice now that it was more that the dad didn't want to be at his kid's own party, more than he just had a drink at it.
Thank you! Yes, ijack and @barefootbarista as I said already, it was more that the other Dad sneaked off to drink. The birthday party was two doors down in the common area, and he invited DH to go back to their house to drink and have cigars. If you've never had a cigar before, a full size one takes about 45-60 mins to smoke. So DH thought it was poor judgement that the other Dad was missing his own daughter's birthday party to smoke and drink.
Ah ok, I was starting to feel self conscious here! We had a mimosa bar at DD2's baptism party and have had beer at all of DD1's birthdays. Nobody's getting drunk but nothing wrong with sipping a beer while watching your kid go bonkers in a bounce house.