NGPR: party etiquette question

[hokiegirl82]

Do you think it's odd to be invited to a New Year's Eve get together and have to bring your own beverages? I've been to BYOB get togethers but it's usually just weekend get togethers in the summer, not get togethers for a big holiday like New Year's Eve. To me it's a little odd, but I am not the expert on party etiquette so I wanted other's opinions on it.

[Stingyshark]

I don't think it's odd, but I live in a really rural area & don't have fancy friends.

[shelbyann]

I don't think it's weird per se..if I were going to a NYE party at someone's home I would definitely bring a couple of bottles of wine or champagne regardless of whether it was specified as BYO. But I would expect to put them into a communal pile 'o booze to share for the night (or for the hosts to do whatever they wanted with).

I do think it would be weird if everyone brought beverages for their own consumption and didn't share...I'm not sure if that's what's meant here.

[browneyedgirl9]

I don't find it odd. Usually when I have gone to a NYE party, even if it doesn't say BYOB, I always bring some wine or champagne.

[vmars]

Dec 19, 2013 8:38:12 GMT -5 browneyedgirl9 said:

I don't find it odd. Usually when I have gone to a NYE party, even if it doesn't say BYOB, I always bring some wine or champagne.

same here. booze isn't cheap and i know the hosts appreciate it.

[mellimel19]

I'd think it was weird that the invite specified BYOB, particularly because in my circle everyone tends to bring beverages that are to be shared at the party anyway.

[hokiegirl82]

Good to know what other's think.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using proboards

[disappointedkittens]

That's usually what happens in my circle. The host will generally provide the food but a lot of my friends usually contribute something yummy as well. It keeps costs down for the host. Our parties are pretty casual though.

[narockshard]

Well considering most of my friends are still in college...BYOB is just a given for us. I'd only find it odd if this was specified as a really fancy party or something. But even then, booze is expensive and I always expect to bring my own stuff.

[D2M]

Unless I'm going to a fancy party at a catering hall or a restaurant, I never show up to a party with my arms swingin'. Usually my friends say something like, "We'll have plenty of food and drinks but feel free to bring something to share." Which is basically like saying "bring something," but nicer. I would be weirded out, however, if it was assumed that the booze you bring is the only booze you get to drink.

[Deleted]

I don't think this is odd at all. I always bring something to a party anyways.

[simpsongal]

I'll dissent and say it's odd after a certain age (~26). When you decide to host a party, I think you should plan to have at least 75% of the alcohol you're going to need. Guests do (and should) bring something, but I think hosting carries a certain obligation. We got invited to a party recently from 30 year old friends and it was BYO meat (like protein for grilling). I mean, seriously?

That's my .02.

[sporklemotion]

Yes and no. The hosts usually have a fair amount but it's expected that most people will bring something-- a bottle of wine or a six-pack. As others have said, though, it usually goes into a communal pot and all will share, and no one notices if you drink more than you brought or drink something other than " your" stuff. Liquor is usually provided by the hosts (if at all).
We are not huge drinkers, though, so plenty of people bring food instead and it's not usually a problem.

[hokiegirl82]

I think my problem is that I haven't been to too many holiday parties over the last few years, so I wasn't sure if this was the norm or not. Sounds like it is for a lot of people.

BTW - I have no problem bringing beverages to drink/share, esp if the host is providing yummy food - we usually bring some wine when we go to someone's house for dinner or for a get together, just never been asked to BYOB for a holiday party so I wasn't sure about that.

[D2M]

Dec 19, 2013 11:01:24 GMT -5 @abbycobb said:

Dec 19, 2013 8:28:42 GMT -5 Stingyshark said:

I don't think it's odd, but I live in a really rural area & don't have fancy friends.

This exactly.

Though H and I went to a party at one of his friend's recently and we were specifically asked to bring a dish to pass, a 6 pack of beer, and a fifth of whiskey or rum or something. They know I'm pregnant, and there's no way H was going to drink all of that in one evening. He had several beers and basically donated the unopened fifth to their liquor cabinet.

This is absurd.  They are basically asking the guests to throw their own party. 

[annabear07]

Dec 19, 2013 10:43:37 GMT -5 simpsongal said:

I'll dissent and say it's odd after a certain age (~26). When you decide to host a party, I think you should plan to have at least 75% of the alcohol you're going to need. Guests do (and should) bring something, but I think hosting carries a certain obligation. We got invited to a party recently from 30 year old friends and it was BYO meat (like protein for grilling). I mean, seriously?

That's my .02.

I agree with this.  If I'm hosting a party it's because I have the means to do so food, drinks, all of it.  I haven't been to a BYOB party since college.  I do think it's weird to all out say it's BYOB, but usually no one shows up empty handed to my holiday parties, but I never request it to be so. 

It would be interesting to know the age ranges of the responders here as I'm frankly suprised by the responses!

[D2M]

annabear07, I'm 34 and live in a big city. Even my "fancy" friends show up to stuff with booze. Thinking back to recent parties I've been invited to, I will concede that few invitations (meaning: emails and FB messages) have explicitly asked for people to bring things. I just went through my inbox and one of them said, "beverages appreciated!" We didn't think anything of it.

[marie3246]

Not really. When we host a real party we always make sure we have 1 mixed drink option (like rum punch) and then some beer/water/pop and then we provide the food. Our friends all drink something different and tend to bring what they want with them and sometimes an app. When we go to friends houses we tend to always bring something. For our friends holiday party they always make the main dish and everyone brings something.

[annabear07]

Dec 19, 2013 15:16:48 GMT -5 D2M said:

annabear07, I'm 34 and live in a big city. Even my "fancy" friends show up to stuff with booze. Thinking back to recent parties I've been invited to, I will concede that few invitations (meaning: emails and FB messages) have explicitly asked for people to bring things. I just went through my inbox and one of them said, "beverages appreciated!" We didn't think anything of it.

Interesting!  I don't think my friends are particulary fancy with parties, it's just the way we do things in our circle.  The guests always bring a bottle of wine or similar, but there is usually plenty at the party. ::shrugs::

[soozy87]

Not odd.