How the hell should I learn to breastfeed?

[chicago]

I really want to be able to do this, at least give it a good try. My goal would be 6mos. to a year, ideally. I just have no idea where to go to learn how the hell it's done! Don't know how often babies need to eat, one boob or two, how to hold them, get a good latch, pump, store, etc.

I was thinking of taking a bf class at the hospital, but the January class doesn't work with my schedule and the next one isn't until March and she's due then.

YouTube videos? Essential books? Plan on meeting with a LC? Any other online resources? I'd love to do an online class of some sort. I want something practical, useful, and not sanctimonious or preachy about how bfing is the end all, be all.

How did you learn? Up until my friends started having kids I thought you just "knew what to do". Most of my friends haven't bfed for more than a few weeks for various reasons, so I'm looking for more a more academic approach to this.

[simpsongal]

I've read a bit on these boards and in books. I've heard it is tough to teach ahead if time. Our hospital and pedi have lactation consultants and I plan to make full use of their services.

[IndiaInk]

I'm hoping to get some instruction from the midwives at the birth center after I deliver, and my mom will be coming a week after the birth so she can also advise me. But I plan to get in contact with a local lactation consultant so that I have a resource for questions if any difficulties arise. In the meantime I've been talking to friends, learning here, and checking out books from the library. So far I've read and liked The Nursing Mothers Companion and The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, both of which were praised here. I also want to read So That's What They're For.

[loskadoodle]

Check out kellymom.com

[urbancowgirl]

GP grad here. When I took a breastfeeding class at my hospital, I received a workbook about breastfeeding that included online access to videos, etc. I never activated my online account, so if you'd like, I could PM you the information and you could access the website. Let me know!

[chicago]

Jan 2, 2014 18:21:53 GMT -5 urbancowgirl said:

GP grad here. When I took a breastfeeding class at my hospital, I received a workbook about breastfeeding that included online access to videos, etc. I never activated my online account, so if you'd like, I could PM you the information and you could access the website. Let me know!

I would love that! Thank you so much for offering!

[picksthemusic]

This is an excellent book.

www.amazon.com/Womanly-Art-Breastfeeding-Diane-Wiessinger/dp/0345518446/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1388706456&sr=1-1&keywords=the+womanly+art+of+breastfeeding

Also, most childbirth classes have sections where they talk about breastfeeding and how to do it. You can also do a YouTube search of 'how to breastfeed a newborn'.

[ringstrue]

I got The Nursing Mother's Companion - 6th Edition
amzn.com/1558327207 and also used kellymom.com a lot when she was actually born.

[chicago]

Ok, this is great. Kelly Mom looks amazing! A gf of mine just offered me So That's What They're For, and I am excited to check out your online resources, urbancowgirl! I will definitely be asking for a lactation consultant early on. I know my mom bought my pump off my registry, so I'm hoping I can get some good use of it and the boobs!

[browneyedgirl9]

I have read through some books. Asked friends questions, and watched some videos.

But i found that the hospital class with the LC was really really informative and reassuring. I feel much better having taken it. Before i took class i had a lot of anxiety and BF and wanting everything to go well. They answered a lot of questions, went over positioning, troubles. And it wad nice to meet the LC before the hospital, and hear their perspective and the help they can offer.

[kristie]

And I will say as an L&D nurse that I actually feel pretty clueless about BFing. There may be some that know a lot, but it isn't our area of specialty. The postpartum and nursery nurses (as well as lactation consultants) are probably a better bet. I do know that in the first few days baby is supposed to basically live on the boob to establish supply and bonding, and that is more than I knew last time. Lol.

[urbancowgirl]

Jan 2, 2014 19:24:54 GMT -5 chicago said:

Ok, this is great. Kelly Mom looks amazing! A gf of mine just offered me So That's What They're For, and I am excited to check out your online resources, urbancowgirl! I will definitely be asking for a lactation consultant early on. I know my mom bought my pump off my registry, so I'm hoping I can get some good use of it and the boobs!

YGPM!

I was looking through my childbirth stuff and I found two additional access codes to the website, so if anyone else wants access, let me know!

[redpenmama]

Take a class, read as much as you can, but realize that you will learn as you go. Ask questions when you're in the hospital and seek out local resources like LLL if you need them. Talk to mamas who have been there.

The one piece of advice that I found most helpful was: You cannot over feed a breasted baby. Nurse on demand. Remember that the 2-3 hour window you hear about is a maximum, not a minimum. Put baby on the boob often and don't worry about the clock.

[sent]

My preemie baby is home now but is too small to full time breastfeed and can't do it without a nipple shield anyways. She and I have a long way to go. Right now I am pretty much exclusively pumping so I still technically haven't learned how to do it.  But even to get just this far, I asked everyone I could, starting with my OB who said "we'll try breastfeeding first." Then the PP nurses who weren't much help, then the 2 LCs at the hospital who were meh, then the pediatrician who suggested an independent LC who was very helpful in a phone consult, and finally my MFM who was also helpful. I am also going to set up an appointment with LCs at a nearby hospital and see what they say because my insurance will cover those visits. 

I also read every thread on here I can find about it. I googled almost nothing about pregnancy, but I have googled everything I can about breastfeeding.

Finally, I remind myself that this must be what my grandmother did to raise 10 children back in the day in the old country with none of these professionals around for consultations, so there must also be some intuition involved.

[rupertpenny]

I'm a librarian and love to research everything to death and have a complex about thinking I can teach myself to do anything if I just research it to death. Breastfeeding (and childbirth actually) are exceptions. You just cannot learn how to feed a baby unless you have a baby.

This stressed me out a lot, but it ended up being ok. You and the baby will learn together. Just do t be afraid to ask for help. Talk to nurses and LCs, go to your hospitals breastfeeding group if there is one, talk about it with other moms who have breastfed, and do not hesitate to let other people do things for you while you feed the baby.

[ladygrey]

Jan 2, 2014 21:27:05 GMT -5 rupertpenny said:

You just cannot learn how to feed a baby unless you have a baby.

Definitely.

I posted a similar response in a thread on MMM (http://pandce.proboards.com/thread/270284/bfing-encouragement-started):

My lactation consultant told me that BFing is like driver's ed - you can learn in the classroom, but you really won't be proficient until you get behind the wheel and start driving. So true, so true.

[jena]

You can go to a LLL meeting while pg. It's really common to have at least one lady at each meeting that hasn't had a kid yet. A lot meet during the day, but maybe you can find one near you that meets in the evenings. I found it to be very helpful, not only to hear what the official LLL line was, but honestly just to see all these different women BFing because it's not something that I had really seen before.

I also took a class at the hospital. I know you said the times don't work for you, but if there are any other hospitals near you, you don't typically have to be delivering at that hospital in order to take the class (I took an infant class at a nearby random hospital). DH took the class with me, I found THAT to be helpful. It let him have a better idea of what was going on, and they really drilled into him that it's my job to feed the baby, it's his job to feed me.

[chicago]

Jan 2, 2014 20:51:18 GMT -5 sent said:

My preemie baby is home now but is too small to full time breastfeed and can't do it without a nipple shield anyways. She and I have a long way to go. Right now I am pretty much exclusively pumping so I still technically haven't learned how to do it.  But even to get just this far, I asked everyone I could, starting with my OB who said "we'll try breastfeeding first." Then the PP nurses who weren't much help, then the 2 LCs at the hospital who were meh, then the pediatrician who suggested an independent LC who was very helpful in a phone consult, and finally my MFM who was also helpful. I am also going to set up an appointment with LCs at a nearby hospital and see what they say because my insurance will cover those visits. 

I also read every thread on here I can find about it. I googled almost nothing about pregnancy, but I have googled everything I can about breastfeeding.

Finally, I remind myself that this must be what my grandmother did to raise 10 children back in the day in the old country with none of these professionals around for consultations, so there must also be some intuition involved.

On my phone so I couldn't narrow this down easily, but the last part really intrigues me and it's something I wonder about a lot. For those of you who have gone through this before or are now, IS there an intuitive piece to bf? I was talking to my husband tonight and he's definitely where I was before, believing that this should just come naturally. I tried explaining that while I think bf is natural, it doesn't COME naturally, but I think I'm sort of making shit up because how do I know? All I know is that it's been really difficult for almost every one I know and they've stopped within a few days to weeks. This leads me to believe it's not intuitive nor does it come naturally and that's all myth and discouraging to many women.

[IndiaInk]

Jan 2, 2014 23:13:56 GMT -5 chicago said:

Jan 2, 2014 20:51:18 GMT -5 sent said:

My preemie baby is home now but is too small to full time breastfeed and can't do it without a nipple shield anyways. She and I have a long way to go. Right now I am pretty much exclusively pumping so I still technically haven't learned how to do it.  But even to get just this far, I asked everyone I could, starting with my OB who said "we'll try breastfeeding first." Then the PP nurses who weren't much help, then the 2 LCs at the hospital who were meh, then the pediatrician who suggested an independent LC who was very helpful in a phone consult, and finally my MFM who was also helpful. I am also going to set up an appointment with LCs at a nearby hospital and see what they say because my insurance will cover those visits. 

I also read every thread on here I can find about it. I googled almost nothing about pregnancy, but I have googled everything I can about breastfeeding.

Finally, I remind myself that this must be what my grandmother did to raise 10 children back in the day in the old country with none of these professionals around for consultations, so there must also be some intuition involved.

On my phone so I couldn't narrow this down easily, but the last part really intrigues me and it's something I wonder about a lot. For those of you who have gone through this before or are now, IS there an intuitive piece to bf? I was talking to my husband tonight and he's definitely where I was before, believing that this should just come naturally. I tried explaining that while I think bf is natural, it doesn't COME naturally, but I think I'm sort of making shit up because how do I know? All I know is that it's been really difficult for almost every one I know and they've stopped within a few days to weeks. This leads me to believe it's not intuitive nor does it come naturally and that's all myth and discouraging to many women.

I don't really have the answer to this question, not having breastfed yet, but I wonder if the success of women in other cultures may have had to do with the knowledge that is passed around by women.  There is a lot of be said about the community of women that hold generations of knowledge about childbearing, rearing and breastfeeding.  We have kind of lost that in the US, especially since so many of our parents in the 80's didn't breastfeed. 

[chicago]

IndiaInk, this is where I think I'm at too. My mom did bf all three of us, but we're not close so I don't see her as a resource when it comes to bringing up my own children.

[amaristella]

Jan 2, 2014 23:24:08 GMT -5 IndiaInk said:

I don't really have the answer to this question, not having breastfed yet, but I wonder if the success of women in other cultures may have had to do with the knowledge that is passed around by women.  There is a lot of be said about the community of women that hold generations of knowledge about childbearing, rearing and breastfeeding.  We have kind of lost that in the US, especially since so many of our parents in the 80's didn't breastfeed. 

I think it's really interesting that you mention that because the first five minutes of my breastfeeding class were the teacher telling us that if breastfeeding were easy or just came to women naturally she'd be out of the job. And based on the evidence of a lot of people relying heavily on LC's, mothers, etc. I would have to say that it's really very true. Also true is that every woman and baby are different and the challenges you face as well as how to solve them will tend to be different.

I struggled in the beginning and didn't insist on seeing the LC. I did end up using shields (different sizes for each side!) because night my milk came in I was terribly engorged and suddenly my baby couldn't latch and he was crying and I was freaking out and trying everything possible and the nipple shield was the thing that finally worked. I had bought a copy of the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding for Kindle but hadn't read it yet. I tried using it as a desperate problem solving manual and really hated it at first when it wasn't a magic cure all. I would read things about trying to latch him on before he gets too hungry that way he's not screaming and flailing but no advice on how to calm him down if we were already past the calm part. Every time that I read to just tickle his cheek or chin to get him to open up wide and then shove his head on I wanted to smack someone because no amount of tickling or pinching his cheeks or anything else I was told to try convinced him to open up wide unless he wanted to. And then there were the fits I had at trying to figure out how to do a nipple sandwich with engorged 34A boobs. (It's not possible until some of the milk is removed. I'm serious)

Moral of the story is: I am really glad I took the class in advance to learn some basics and enough information about baby's needs and behavior to know whether or not my baby was getting enough to eat. The rest is about trial and error and having an adequate (human!) support system to work out your individual difficulties.

[sporklemotion]

I took a class, and it was helpful in that it gave me a better idea of what to expect in the first few days. It didn't really gt me ready, but gave me some idea about how wide the baby should open her mouth, etc. I think it primarily helped me work through frustration because I knew to expect it to be tough.
I will second the suggestion that you include your partner in the class. My DH didn't go to the class, but he did go with me to a class in the hospital after delivery, and it helped him to hear more about the process. Initially, he was quick to suggest we give up, but after the class, he was more supportive because he understood that the challenges were normal and not a sign that BF-ing wouldn't work.

[urbancowgirl]

Jan 3, 2014 3:54:30 GMT -5 amaristella said:

Jan 2, 2014 23:24:08 GMT -5 IndiaInk said:

Moral of the story is: I am really glad I took the class in advance to learn some basics and enough information about baby's needs and behavior to know whether or not my baby was getting enough to eat. The rest is about trial and error and having an adequate (human!) support system to work out your individual difficulties.

ITA with this.

[livinitup]

Waaaaayyyyy back when my sister was PG, I got her an educational video from the library made by some British BBC midwife professionals. Seeing it in no nonsense, real-life boobs was enlightening. And the rather forceful swoosh of the baby's mouth onto the boob-so quickly and almost aggressively- was eye opening. So was the smiling and relaxed, unguarded faces and bodies of the moms. Now, with YouTube, I can only imagine you can find some nice options to learn. Try focusing on teaching and professional sources.

Oh, and the nurses teach you - with YOUR baby before discharge. And it seems clique, but it's true, you'll learn with your baby.

I really liked BFing. I hope you have a good experience.

[jena]

Jan 2, 2014 23:13:56 GMT -5 chicago said:

Jan 2, 2014 20:51:18 GMT -5 sent said:

My preemie baby is home now but is too small to full time breastfeed and can't do it without a nipple shield anyways. She and I have a long way to go. Right now I am pretty much exclusively pumping so I still technically haven't learned how to do it.  But even to get just this far, I asked everyone I could, starting with my OB who said "we'll try breastfeeding first." Then the PP nurses who weren't much help, then the 2 LCs at the hospital who were meh, then the pediatrician who suggested an independent LC who was very helpful in a phone consult, and finally my MFM who was also helpful. I am also going to set up an appointment with LCs at a nearby hospital and see what they say because my insurance will cover those visits. 

I also read every thread on here I can find about it. I googled almost nothing about pregnancy, but I have googled everything I can about breastfeeding.

Finally, I remind myself that this must be what my grandmother did to raise 10 children back in the day in the old country with none of these professionals around for consultations, so there must also be some intuition involved.

On my phone so I couldn't narrow this down easily, but the last part really intrigues me and it's something I wonder about a lot. For those of you who have gone through this before or are now, IS there an intuitive piece to bf? I was talking to my husband tonight and he's definitely where I was before, believing that this should just come naturally. I tried explaining that while I think bf is natural, it doesn't COME naturally, but I think I'm sort of making shit up because how do I know? All I know is that it's been really difficult for almost every one I know and they've stopped within a few days to weeks. This leads me to believe it's not intuitive nor does it come naturally and that's all myth and discouraging to many women.

No. No no no no no no no.

It wasn't intuitive to your grandma either. Your grandma probably saw her 6 younger siblings BF. And watched her.older sisters BF their 10 kids. And if she had any questions then she could ask her 52 aunts and cousins who all lived in her village. Because they all BFd and there was a wealth of knowledge.

And if for some reason she didn't have this support and she wasn't one of few that this comes easily to, then her baby probably died.

Do NOT fall into the trap that it's easy because it's always been done. They had support and knowledge surrounding them that just doesn't exist for most moms today.

[Cheesecake]

GP grad here, succesfully breastfeeding.
I just read up some stuff online and had a talk with an LC, who actually really didn't tell me anything I hadn't read yet.
Then the maternity nurse helped show me a couple of holds and it really did kinda just happen and I just knew instinctively.
The alC/internet info was interesting, but really more 'fun to know' than telling me what to do and when and how to do it.

Just make sure you feed within the first hour after birth. That's just pure instinct for babies and makes it much easier for you to figure stuff out.

Sent from my Xperia Z, please don't mind typos!

[livinitup]

Lots of things are natural that require a great deal of practice, trial and error and frustration.

Intuitive doesn't mean easy. It just means motivated to learn and practice until it work.