Shower :)

[marie3246]

I had a wonderful shower yesterday and everything went perfect. I was shocked by how much effort my friends put into it for me and how nice everything turned out  We got sooo many clothes, it was insane. I feel bad returning so many of them, but we still need to get some of the bigger items and for some reason got a ton of duplicate items on our target registry even though they showed up as marked off when I look. 

I only had one small issue and want to kill this "friend" of mine. I think I talked about her before as she was bugging me to let her know what names we are thinking of. I said we weren't sure yet, but were thinking of going with a family name and listed several family members. One of those names we are really in love with (Viola) and out of all the names I mentioned (Helen, Nancy, etc) she picked out Viola as the one she hated most. She is very out spoken and has no filter at all. She previously told me that my kid was going to be made fun of for having an old lady name. I blew it off and changed the subject. Hurt my feelings, but we decided after this not to discuss names with anyone. Well at the shower, everyone was talking names of course. I said we hadn't decided yet, which is true although we are heavily leaning towards Viola. Friend says loudly about how she hates a few randoms names that aren't on our list and then in front of everyone asked me if I got off the Viola kick. I wanted to cry right there. I felt like the whole room got quiet and everyone looked at me to see how I reacted. I said we hadn't decided anything yet and changed the subject, but I am so upset. I really don't care if she likes the name at all, but to announce that to everyone else and then if we pick that I feel like everyone (especially my super close friends) will remember this and think I told this other friend while not telling anyone else or lying. I also hate that how she acted is really making me second guess my choice. I truly don't care what she thinks, but I am just so upset she announced it at my shower. I wish I could have just kept my mouth shut awhile back... ugh. 

[changedname]

Omg that is terrible. I'm so sorry that happened to you. What a bitch.

I'm glad you had a nice shower though, despite her.

[marie3246]

Jan 12, 2014 13:40:10 GMT -5 changedname said:

Omg that is terrible. I'm so sorry that happened to you. What a bitch.

I'm glad you had a nice shower though, despite her.

Yeah I think I am pretty much done being friends with her since I now feel like I really have to watch what I say around her and all. I can't imagine anyone thinking that was an ok thing to do/say. Everything else was so perfect though, so that is what I am trying to focus on

[JayhawkGirl]

I would be putting some extra space between me and that friend. She's not very friendly.

I'm glad your shower was good otherwise!

[catsarecute]

I'm angry on your behalf! What is wrong in this persons life to think she can act like that? Please try to brush off her comments. She is obviously cold hearted!

[VillainV]

How old is she? Is it possible she's just being immature and insensitive? I'm pretty socially awkward, and before I was old enough to realize how awkward I was I put my foot in my mouth in a similar fashion at a friend's shower (not to the honoree, but in front of another pregnant friend -- basically I badmouthed a name that was the one she and her husband had ended up picking, but I didn't know that at the time). I was young and stupid. Not that it's a great excuse, but maybe she's just really socially awkward and unaware of it.

At any rate, don't let her behavior taint the memories of what sounds like a really lovely shower. If anything, she just made HERSELF look really bad, and I don't think it reflects at all on you.

[marie3246]

Jan 12, 2014 14:07:04 GMT -5 VillainV said:

How old is she? Is it possible she's just being immature and insensitive? I'm pretty socially awkward, and before I was old enough to realize how awkward I was I put my foot in my mouth in a similar fashion at a friend's shower (not to the honoree, but in front of another pregnant friend -- basically I badmouthed a name that was the one she and her husband had ended up picking, but I didn't know that at the time). I was young and stupid. Not that it's a great excuse, but maybe she's just really socially awkward and unaware of it.

At any rate, don't let her behavior taint the memories of what sounds like a really lovely shower. If anything, she just made HERSELF look really bad, and I don't think it reflects at all on you.

She's old enough to know better. 35. And has two kids, one just recently. She is someone who has little to no filter and just basically says what she wants all the time and she is very opinionated. This is the first time I have found myself on the bad end of it. I was upset a bit afterwards and ended up telling my best friend who was there and she said while it may have seemed awful to me, she was pretty sure no one noticed so that did make me feel better. 

[lobstertail]

I'm glad everything else went well, in spite of this friend. People with no filter are exhausting - I think it's good to put her on the back burner for awhile. Or forever!

Jan 12, 2014 13:45:55 GMT -5 marie3246 said:

Jan 12, 2014 13:40:10 GMT -5 changedname said:

Omg that is terrible. I'm so sorry that happened to you. What a bitch.

I'm glad you had a nice shower though, despite her.

Yeah I think I am pretty much done being friends with her since I now feel like I really have to watch what I say around her and all. I can't imagine anyone thinking that was an ok thing to do/say. Everything else was so perfect though, so that is what I am trying to focus on

[loira]

Ugh, I'm sorry you had to go through that. I used to shoot my mouth off about stuff like that when I was younger. I've learned not to badmouth any name now, no matter how ridiculous or unlikely it would be that a friend might use it. You just never know, and as your experience shows, it's incredibly insensitive. Though for the record, I think Viola is a lovely name, and anyway old lady names are en vogue these days. I'm glad you had a good shower otherwise.

[Deleted]

I am sorry your friend is bring such a jerk. Glad you had a fun shower otherwise.

[marie3246]

Jan 12, 2014 15:55:12 GMT -5 bricco said:

So many hugs. I totally understand where you are coming from, but do NOT let her "win" by changing your mind.

If you REALLY love that name, OWN it!

thank you  This is what H said. I swear we went over 100's of names today and the only one we both love is Viola. I def think we have found our name and I hate that she is making me second guess that. I honestly am over caring what she thinks, but it really really bothered me she told everyone at the party. I know it's not a usual name so people are bound to remember her comment. I just don't want my close friends thinking I told her before then. 

[IndiaInk]

I read this story in a state of outrage to my husband, as an example of how rude people can be and why I don't want him to share our potential names with anyone. He said he really likes the name Viola and you should name your kid that for sure. So there you go!

[Yankees21]

I'm glad you had a nice shower! Any pictures?

Also, your "friend" is a shitty one. Who does that?? As an aside, I loved Viola when you first mentioned it, and I'm sure most others will too. Don't let her get you down!

[kershnic]

If your friends remember at all, I'm sure they will assume that you told her a few you were considering - and then based on her stupid response stopped telling people. Which is pretty much exactly what happened.

Definitely don't let this sway you on which name you choose. You will use your child's name a hundred times a day for the rest of your life. No one will remember this shower incident, and you may not even continue to know this friend.

[winemaker]

marie3246 Wow, I don't understand why people think any name you pick out is there business to have an opinion on. BTW I like Viola!

[marie3246]

Jan 12, 2014 19:17:15 GMT -5 Yankees21 said:

I'm glad you had a nice shower! Any pictures?

Also, your "friend" is a shitty one. Who does that?? As an aside, I loved Viola when you first mentioned it, and I'm sure most others will too. Don't let her get you down!

It's terrible, but I only took 2 pictures! Everything was so cute. They did pink and elephants, all the food was delish, they had a champagne /juice bar, played a few easy games everyone loved and we had a great time. 

[marie3246]

Jan 12, 2014 21:15:51 GMT -5 bricco said:

I love the baby carriage watermelon thing. I've seen that all over on pinterest but I secretly hope someone does it for one of my showers!

I know, it was so cute! My H made one for a friends baby shower about a year ago and his friend made this one. I think there was a bit of competition haha.

[D2M]

Jan 12, 2014 14:07:04 GMT -5 VillainV said:

At any rate, don't let her behavior taint the memories of what sounds like a really lovely shower. If anything, she just made HERSELF look really bad, and I don't think it reflects at all on you.

Totally agree with this.  Don't let this woman taint the beautiful name you've picked out.

BTW, was this the same woman whose husband basically forced you to throw a baby shower for her? 

[marie3246]

Jan 13, 2014 10:24:47 GMT -5 D2M said:

Jan 12, 2014 14:07:04 GMT -5 VillainV said:

At any rate, don't let her behavior taint the memories of what sounds like a really lovely shower. If anything, she just made HERSELF look really bad, and I don't think it reflects at all on you.

Totally agree with this.  Don't let this woman taint the beautiful name you've picked out.

BTW, was this the same woman whose husband basically forced you to throw a baby shower for her? 

haha nope, different girl. She attended the shower and did get us some very nice gifts, but didn't help with the shower or anything. Not that I expected much ha.