keeping your kid's room clean?

[stealthmom]

My son can create a complete disaster in a very short time.

I want him to play with his stuff but just wish he could do it more neatly. Lol.

Do you somehow make your kid clean it himself or just accept that it's too big of a job and do it yourself?

Before it gets bad I make him help me but it seems that at some point it just turns into a disaster area and then I feel overwhelmed and resentful I have to clean up his crap. But it's such a huge mess there is no way he could do it himself. And the disaster is usually created in one afternoon.

Help. I feel like there is a better way. I'm just not sure what it is.

[greekypie]

I only let him have 3 sets of toys in his room at a time. E.g., cars, blocks, and Legos. Before he leaves afternoon quiet time (which he has in his room) he must pick them up. I help, but he's very motivated to leave quiet time so he does it.

I say remove half of the stuff (toys?) from his room that he makes mess with & rotate it on different days or something. There will be less to clean up & he can potentially do more of the clean up job himself, since it's less overall.

[Willis Jackson]

I would keep less stuff in his room.

DS has a small bookcase that's about 1/2 full with books, a bin of mega bloks, and a few trucks. He can clean all of that up by himself.

The only time he needs help is when he and DD make a fort or a campsite with his blankets and pillows, because the blankets are too big for him to fold by himself.

[lindyanne]

My son is about six months younger than yours. I was having the same issue with his playroom. I just added picture tags on the buckets and they're all pretty organized with one misc bucket. He has a hard time putting them back (they're the fabric ones from target) but he's done a good job of keeping things organized where before it was a free for all of dumping out buckets. I have also been trying to reinforce a one thing at a time rule. Play, clean up and then you can get something else out.

[redpenmama]

We don't have many toys in the kids' rooms. We have a playroom and try to consolidate it all in there to minimize the clutter. That said, DD still can destroy her room, opening the drawers and dumping out her clothes, etc. I make her clean it up with my help when that happens.

[AmyRI]

We don't let him have that many sets of toys in his room at one time. He's got books, matchbox cars, and stuffed animals. Everything else is somewhere else and we rotate toys (between rooms, or in storage in the basement) when he gets bored.

We clean up one set of toys before we get out another. Or at most, he's got 2 out at once so it's never overwhelming.

Daycare taught him a Barney song about cleaning up ("clean up, clean up, everybody everywhere, clean up, clean up, everybody do your share") and all I have to do is start singing and he helps pick up all his toys. We do help him clean up, but if he stops, so do we.

[bunch]

I also don't keep much in her room and require her to clean up several times a day. That seems to keep her from getting out too much at once,

[imojoebunny]

All of my kids toys are in their room. There is nowhere else to put them. I think your DS is 5? Mine is almost 5 and DD is 7. For DD, I make her sort her stuff into piles, then I help her put it into the correct basket or shelf, since some of them are too high to reach, and she has a hard time fitting everything. With my younger one, I help him, but assign him specific activities, like pick up all the cars, pick up all the Lincoln logs, ect. I also keep toys with lots of pieces up high on his shelves, so I can just get them down one at a time. I think the sorting is the hardest skill for this age.

Sometimes, I just let it roll for a few days, then I will clean up 75% while they are at school and stand over them to direct them to clean up the rest. I used to get a lot of back talk, but now, it seems that they realize they have to do it before they can play again. Some kids seem really good at cleaning up, my son is definitely better than my DD, so I do make allowances for their ability to do it. Some kids are just better at sorting and figuring out how to organize the clutter, other kids take a long time to learn it.

[Deleted]

Our house rule is that shared spaces (living room, dining room, etc.) must be kept picked up and toys put away when you're done playing with them, but your own bedroom is your own space and you can keep it however you like it. I encourage DD1 to clean her room but I only help her if she is also cleaning. There are some consequences if she chooses to keep her room a mess though. For example, I don't particularly enjoy being surrounded by a mess so I won't play with her in her room if it's a disaster in there... or I can't bring DD2 in if there are small toys everywhere, so I do have to remind her from time to time that if she wants company in her room it's in her self-interest to keep it clean. She usually does.

The only time her room MUST be picked up is before our cleaning service comes every other Friday. Then I will work with (but not for) her to get it picked up.

I find it is easier to get her to clean up in shared spaces when I remind her that she is under no obligation to pick up her room.

[h]

Jan 13, 2014 9:33:48 GMT -5 @carmensandiego said:

Our house rule is that shared spaces (living room, dining room, etc.) must be kept picked up and toys put away when you're done playing with them, but your own bedroom is your own space and you can keep it however you like it. I encourage DD1 to clean her room but I only help her if she is also cleaning. There are some consequences if she chooses to keep her room a mess though. For example, I don't particularly enjoy being surrounded by a mess so I won't play with her in her room if it's a disaster in there... or I can't bring DD2 in if there are small toys everywhere, so I do have to remind her from time to time that if she wants company in her room it's in her self-interest to keep it clean. She usually does.

The only time her room MUST be picked up is before our cleaning service comes every other Friday. Then I will work with (but not for) her to get it picked up.

I find it is easier to get her to clean up in shared spaces when I remind her that she is under no obligation to pick up her room.

This is our approach as well. My older two tend to make elaborate "projects" that incorporate multiple kinds of toys--Lego cities that are attacked by evil Playmobil "giants" that arrive via a zip line they construct with their shoe laces, only to be rescued by some superhero figures who live in a nearby village constructed of Magnatiles. Once they make something, they tend to want it out for a couple days, and as long as they aren't affecting others' use of common spaces, I am fine with that. We help them clean when needed (before the housekeeper or company comes), but they have to participate. I love the idea of limiting them to just a few toys at a time and making them clean up as soon as they finish playing in theory, but it doesn't seem to jive with the way they play.

[dbsk8dance]

He's supposed to put something away before he plays with the next, however that doesn't always happen. I make him help me pick things up every night. I don't like having things on the floor overnight for tripping hazards. Even train tracks I make him pick up. Sometimes he does it all, sometimes he puts away two things, but he has to help, even if he whines.

On Fridays, he is at preschool and I'm at home and I organize things a bit better and vacuum the room.

[catbus]

Obviously I have not yet dealt with a five-year-old, but I would absolutely have him clean things up himself. I do that now with E, and he's only fifteen months. Cleaning up after himself is reinforced at daycare, as well. At E's age, I just encourage him helping, and don't try to correct him, because I don't want to discourage that drive to help. This does mean redoing some of his cleaning, like rearranging books, but I do it when he's not paying attention.

At your kid's age, I'd be tempted to take the Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle approach: if he refuses to clean, let it be. Theoretically, he'll get frustrated by not being able to find the toys he wants and not having space in which to play.

[turtlegirl]

He has a decent amount of toys in his room, so it gets pretty messy as well. We only have "clean up time" right before bedtime.

Even though he has a lot of toys, they all have a box/bin/shelf/place they belong. And at age 3 he is pretty good at remembering/knowing where everything goes. We sing our "put away" song together as we clean everything up. How much he goes vs. how much I clean it up mostly depends on how tired I am and how quickly I want to get him in bed that night, LOL.

[Deleted]

Yeah, I also limit the stuff in her room. Right now it's books, puzzles, stuffed animals and one small bin she chooses to rotate through. That's all easy pick up stuff.

I also do toy zones for this reason. Limiting the amount of stuff in one area makes for a much faster clean up.

And yes, make him pick up. Even my 2.5 year old will clean up at least one bucket of toys on her own.

We also (most days) due multiple pickups..usually before nap and bed. It helps to eliminate a huge disaster.

[vanillacourage]

Mine doesn't have toys in his room - just clothes (that go in a hamper) and books (that go on a shelf).  We also have a big bin where he can keep the stuffed animals he occasionally rotates through at night.

[quickstepstar]

DDs 1&2 have to clean up whatever they mess up, and they usually do a decent job, even if a room is a complete disaster! They might be at it for a while, with quite a few visits from us, but they *can* do it. The only time I will do it, is if they just have to go to bed.

[jenny1223]

DS is only 2 so check back with me in a couple years, but right now we have a corner in the living room with toys and toys in his room. I just recently got everything organized so he can pull out one bin with his train track pieces or one bin of blocks, etc. Our (general) rule is that he has to pick up one thing before getting into another (which is also encouraged at preschool & daycare). Inevitably, I end up doing some clean up after he goes to bed but he's pretty good about at least helping me if not doing it all himself.

[stealthmom]

Thanks guys. I think I have a combo of a particularly messy kid and one for whom making him clean up is like pulling teeth. Add in me being lazy and it's a terrible combo.

Less toys in his room is not possible.

I WISH I could just let it go and not care. I never understood why my mom cared when I was a kid. A little mess is nbd. But I can't handle total disaster area particularly right before I give birth. It goes against every nesting instinct I have! Lol. Plus I do think it's dangerous.

I like the idea of refusing to go in there when it's messy. I think I'll use that after this next big cleanup.

When you guys say you make your kid clean up or help you, how long a time are we talking about here?

Y'all are making me realize I 've set a bad precedent. I have to break the cycle! !!!!!

[Deleted]

Jan 13, 2014 14:51:35 GMT -5 stealthmom said:

Thanks guys. I think I have a combo of a particularly messy kid and one for whom making him clean up is like pulling teeth. Add in me being lazy and it's a terrible combo.

Less toys in his room is not possible.

I WISH I could just let it go and not care. I never understood why my mom cared when I was a kid. A little mess is nbd. But I can't handle total disaster area particularly right before I give birth. It goes against every nesting instinct I have! Lol. Plus I do think it's dangerous.

I like the idea of refusing to go in there when it's messy. I think I'll use that after this next big cleanup.

When you guys say you make your kid clean up or help you, how long a time are we talking about here?

Y'all are making me realize I 've set a bad precedent. I have to break the cycle! !!!!!

About 2 minutes...lol. I don't ask for much at the stage we are in, but it is something and does help. Sometimes she'll be in the mood to help me pick it all up, the next 3 toys and she's done. I just keep "pushing" her a bit to keep the precedent going.