How are your SO's handling pg so far?

[pinotgrig]

How far along are you (can't see tickers on mobile site) and how is your SO doing so far?

[catsarecute]

I'm 26.5 weeks. My husband loves the projects that he has been able to do in the nursery. I think now that I'm showing more and he has felt the baby kicking it is a bit more real. He has had a few "OMG we are going to have a kid" moment but I've assured him that things will be fine and he is going to be an awesome father. I tell him "people a lot less capable than us do it!" HAHA.

[pinotgrig]

My H has been pretty involved so far - he's been to all the dr'a appts and has been really supportive with my daily lovenox injections, which has been nice. He's indulged my frequent trips to BBB and BRU, too.

He did say last night that he sometimes has a hard time with the reality of it - nothing has changed for him, but he sees a big chunk of money that will be going to daycare every month and a complete change in our lives this year. He's excited overall, but feels a little disconnected and like it's not real yet. I understand this is common, but it was still a little disappointing to me.

I'm 17 weeks, so I think as I start to get a real baby belly and he can see him moving around, that this one may just take some time.

[shaynaatl]

32 weeks and DH has been great. He was ready for a baby 1-2 years before I was, so it makes sense. He has been doing a ton of research about baby products and has been reading books also.

[rbp]

He's been super helpful and understanding and rearranges his work schedule to come to appointments with me.

We did have a fight a few weeks ago because he felt like I "wasn't trying to be sexy" or something. OMG.  :?

[sunshine608]

22 weeks. Its been up and down. H was Out of the country during the worst part of my m/c and I don't think he got how bad it was until he got back. I think he thought I just didn't feel well.

Then we went through this thing where I was "fragile" and he became more protective than I expected. I think seeing that the baby finally resembled a baby at the last ultrasound and seeing me showing solidified things for him, but its still off b/c he travels so much.

[simpsongal]

38 weeks, 1 day. He's ready for him to arrive. He's getting super excited!

Sometimes I need to remind him that I need help. And I have to direct him to do chores and things - but that's status quo for us. We have a cute system for getting off the couch. He lays at the other end and I usually use his foot as a lever to get up

[theatre4life]

~8 weeks. At first he was freaked out/excited and wanted to tell the world. He has since gotten better, and realizes why telling everyone is not a good idea. He is super supportive, and is coming to the first appt with me, and plans on coming to future ones. (I do think he is still super freaked out though, he has just gotten better at hiding it. .)

[narockshard]

My husband has been great, he's very excited but he's also pretty chill about it. He was my rock when I was so anxious the first tri and kept reassuring me that everything was/is going to be fine.

He hasn't really been treating me any different though, which is fine because I haven't felt all that different. He's all around a great and supportive husband and I know he'll make a wonderful father.

[kermit]

Almost 15 weeks. He's been very apprehensive about the big changes to come, and I know it doesn't seem real to him quite yet. He was on board with trying and wanted a baby, but when it happened he was like "wth did we do?!?!" He's terrified that something is wrong and feels like it will be all his fault for not having a baby earlier. He said he'd been having nightmares about that and cried a little about it the other night. (I wanted to try 3 years ago but he wasn't ready) He's worried about being a crappy parent like his parents were/are. He's coming around though, he tells me about cute little kids he sees and sometimes talks about random baby things. I'm trying not to push too much on him right now. He's coming to my appointment tomorrow and I'm kind of hoping the Doppler doesn't work so I have to have an u/s - I think it would be cool for him to see that now and not have to wait another month for the anatomy scan.

[pinotgrig]

Jan 13, 2014 15:12:01 GMT -5 kermit said:

Almost 15 weeks. He's been very apprehensive about the big changes to come, and I know it doesn't seem real to him quite yet. He was on board with trying and wanted a baby, but when it happened he was like "wth did we do?!?!" He's terrified that something is wrong and feels like it will be all his fault for not having a baby earlier. He said he'd been having nightmares about that and cried a little about it the other night. (I wanted to try 3 years ago but he wasn't ready) He's worried about being a crappy parent like his parents were/are. He's coming around though, he tells me about cute little kids he sees and sometimes talks about random baby things. I'm trying not to push too much on him right now. He's coming to my appointment tomorrow and I'm kind of hoping the Doppler doesn't work so I have to have an u/s - I think it would be cool for him to see that now and not have to wait another month for the anatomy scan.

My H has serious anxiety about parenting - his parents were pretty awful and he's terrified of repeating their mistakes. I told him the fact he's aware of their shortcomings as things not to do, is a great sign. He's so good with kids - they gravitate to him and he knows how to talk and play with them. I am much more awkward with them, lol. I try to remind him of that.

Did you guys get pg quickly after you started trying? We were very lucky and it happened the first cycle we in officially weren't preventing. I think that surprised him a lot, too. Like he thought he had more time to fully prepare himself.

[bernergirl]

Theatre4life my BF is the same way- he wanted to tell EVERYONE as soon as I told him. I put the brakes on that real quick- I'm super private, even with family, and for me it would be agonizing to tell and then un-tell the world if something went wrong. Our first lesson in compromise lol. We told our immediate families at Christmas. Waiting to tell others until after 12 weeks is killing him, but he has respected my wishes.

He is really, really excited to be a dad though. He loves kids and is so good with them. He and his XW tried their whole marriage to get pregnant without success and I think a part of him was worried that he was infertile. He's been awesome with my nausea, tiredness, and aversions.

[kermit]

Jan 13, 2014 15:16:43 GMT -5 pinotgrig said:

Jan 13, 2014 15:12:01 GMT -5 kermit said:

Almost 15 weeks. He's been very apprehensive about the big changes to come, and I know it doesn't seem real to him quite yet. He was on board with trying and wanted a baby, but when it happened he was like "wth did we do?!?!" He's terrified that something is wrong and feels like it will be all his fault for not having a baby earlier. He said he'd been having nightmares about that and cried a little about it the other night. (I wanted to try 3 years ago but he wasn't ready) He's worried about being a crappy parent like his parents were/are. He's coming around though, he tells me about cute little kids he sees and sometimes talks about random baby things. I'm trying not to push too much on him right now. He's coming to my appointment tomorrow and I'm kind of hoping the Doppler doesn't work so I have to have an u/s - I think it would be cool for him to see that now and not have to wait another month for the anatomy scan.

My H has serious anxiety about parenting - his parents were pretty awful and he's terrified of repeating their mistakes. I told him the fact he's aware of their shortcomings as things not to do, is a great sign. He's so good with kids - they gravitate to him and he knows how to talk and play with them. I am much more awkward with them, lol. I try to remind him of that.

Did you guys get pg quickly after you started trying? We were very lucky and it happened the first cycle we in officially weren't preventing. I think that surprised him a lot, too. Like he thought he had more time to fully prepare himself.

Ditto your first paragraph. I also told him if I thought he'd be anything like his parents I wouldn't have wanted to have a baby with him. He's very good with kids and I'm just not, unless I'm related to them. He hasn't told his parents yet and is dreading it, but he's going to have to soon. They are going to be assholes about it.

It took about 6 cycles I think. I had a miscarriage on cycle 5 and got pregnant the next one. He had time to deal with it, I think it just didn't really sink in until it happened for real. I think he'll be fine given some time.

[chickadee77]

16 weeks. He's been pretty awesome so far, and is almost more concerned about me than I am. I have zero appetite, so he hounds me to eat more, is concerned about any little stress that happens, and tells me constantly how beautiful and sexy I am. He's starting to get on board with helping out more around the house, and once our anatomy scan is done, he knows I'll start bugging him about bigger projects - he's got a reprieve until then, lol.

He's very confident about parenting, which worries me a bit sometimes because I'm not sure how realistic he's being, but I'm not about to burst his bubble, lol. I figure reality will set in soon enough.

[katiek]

I'm 12w2d.

My H knows nothing about babies at all. Hasn't held one since his cousins were young, and that was 10 years ago. I'm a big researcher and he prefers to go with the flow, so I was a bit annoyed at first that he wasn't reading up about pregnancy and children, but I figure he'll do it eventually. He has been reading about my symptoms and how I'm feeling, which is sweet. He's very supportive and tries to do everything around the house because I've been feeling awful, and in the last week he decided he needs to cook more for me.

I think things will become more real to him when I start showing and we find out the sex. All he knows right now is that I feel bad. He's excited about the pregnancy, but it's very abstract for him. I'm looking forward to having more concrete conversations with him soon.

[marie3246]

At first I was really worried/disappointed because H didn't really make any changes. He didn't help out anymore, didn't rub my back/feet, but now that I am showing a lot more and having a really hard time doing anything he has been super helpful and been much more involved in the baby stuff.

[bk1]

7 weeks 5 days. H has been awesome. He has been cleaning/helping around the house more. He keeps telling me to relax and take a nap when I am tired. He has gone above and beyond anything I could ask for. First appointment next week and he will be coming with me.

[loira]

7 weeks and it hasn't really sunk in for him yet. He told his thesis supervisor today (we've told close family and friends), and his supervisor said 'Congratulations, I guess you're going to have to make that submission deadline now!' I think as this progresses, H will start to feel the pressure of graduating and finding a job. For the last 3 and a half years, I've been the breadwinner, and though I have no intentions of giving up my job, we'll need the extra money for sure even with a certain amount of paid maternity leave.

[andthentherewere10]

He REALLY changed once we found out the sex and gave the baby a name. He is super protective over my nutrition and physical activity (and I'm super active so sometimes I sneak around to get farm chores done when he isn't looking). He's wanted to be a dad way longer than I've wanted to be a mom so he's pumped.

ETA: almost 24 weeks

[sh10]

31 weeks. DH is getting really excited for the baby. I think he's also excited to be done with grad school, which ends 6 weeks after my due date, so we are in for a crazy first few weeks of the baby's life! He is helpful around the house. I think he's mostly excited to play with the baby, he even does it now by poking at my belly where the baby kicks and gets so excited when the baby kicks back.

[bowies]

I'm almost 15 weeks. He's been a rock star. He does all the cooking, most of the grocery shopping, and cleans most of the dishes (food is still somewhat of a challenge for me). He also gives me my daily Lovenox injections since I can never get a good angle. He's just super into it and is incredibly supportive. He's the one who gets all misty eyed at ultrasound appointments. I think he's the reason I'm so excited to have a little boy - raising a junior version of him is going to be flipping awesome.

I could have done without the cold he gave me this week though. No bueno.

He also tells me all the time how beautiful I am and what an amazing mom I'll be, which is huge. It's probably not common knowledge on this board, but I was married once before and my XH was constantly telling me how crappy I'd be as a mom. I couldn't really do anything right. My XH even celebrated after I had a m/c early in a surprise pregnancy. I'm so incredibly thankful that I finally found a supportive partner who wants the same things out of life.

[Cricket0619]

I don't think it hit my H until we had our first ultrasound and found out what it was. I am 37 weeks 1 day and I can tell he is getting excited. I came home from work one day and he had put together a bunch of stuff. I think it can be hard for guys because nothing is different for them, they feel the same and aren't experiencing what we are.

[kermit]

bowies that's awful about your XH. What a dick. I'm glad your current H is being so great.

[flgirl]

I am 15 weeks, 3 days. My husband loves babies. He helps around the house and cooks me grilled cheese at midnight because I need to eat when I can keep things down. He doesn't go to appointments with me which is fine...actually I like going alone. He comes to the ultrasounds and then right at the end to request to be able to watch the whole c-section:)

He isn't the overly supportive type because he honestly doesn't know what to do to be supportive. He tries his best and I try to be specific with what I need from him.

[bowies]

Jan 13, 2014 21:54:42 GMT -5 kermit said:

bowies that's awful about your XH. What a dick. I'm glad your current H is being so great.

Yeah my picker was way off in my late teens/early 20s! I grew up a lot though and figured out what was important.

[robinsbff]

about 12 and a half weeks and he's been incredible. he's picked up all of the household chores and gets me anything i need, most times even before i even know i need it! he takes care of me so well and i'm super thankful. we haven't done too many projects or things to prepare for baby yet since it's still fairly early but i'm sure he will be great with that stuff too.

[mannah]

Jan 14, 2014 0:23:49 GMT -5 bowies said:

Jan 13, 2014 21:54:42 GMT -5 kermit said:

bowies that's awful about your XH. What a dick. I'm glad your current H is being so great.

Yeah my picker was way off in my late teens/early 20s! I grew up a lot though and figured out what was important.

Yeahhhh your first H sounds like a miserable human being. So glad he's long gone and you've found the right one.

[laurack]

25 weeks, he's been fine. This isn't our first child so I think we both have more of a relaxed attitude to it, like I think the first time the world revolved around my pregnancy and I was obsessed with it. This time I'm a little less obsessed because I have my daughter to take care of i suppose.

It's harder for me to forget about it though because I am enormous and my body hurts. But overall I feel ok enough that I don't really "need" him to do anything for me yet.

In the first tri I was a mess and he really stepped up with taking care of Matilda. I just couldn't function due to being so sick.

Overall he will help with anything if I ask but he can be pretty oblivious like many men I'm sure. Like Texting me at the grocery store to say can I pick up a 35lb tub of cat litter. Sure I guess? I mean I was able to but I feel like he didn't really consider that I might not be....

He has to be explicitly told things: I need you to get up with her, I'm tired. I need you to lift these. I need you to take her away for a while so I may vomit in peace. He's happy to do anything I ask of him pretty much but he just doesn't notice or think unless I say something.