Hi all, figured this was a better place for this question than the main board:
Close friends are expecting baby #2 in mid-March - the baby's sex is unknown. Their DS#1 will be 18 months old by then. I talked with a mutual friend about throwing a small shower/sprinkle before baby #2's arrival - Mutual Friend proposed the idea to the dad-to-be, but the DTB said that the grandparents have discouraged them from having another baby shower since DS#1 is still so young and they had a traditional shower for him.
I brought up the idea of a no-gifts Sip and See after the baby arrives to Mutual Friend, who really wants to do it (especially if baby #2 winds up being a girl since they will probably want some new outfits for her). We just want to do something nice for our friends, to show that all babies are special and deserve a little attention. The invites could say something like, "Big Brother X has plenty to share ... this is just a little party to show that we care!" We could serve light food and drinks at one of our houses, and if anyone asks about gifts we can suggest something really small like a new outfit, diapers/wipes, or a book.
Of course we'll run it by our friends before we plan anything, and if they say no we'll back off ... but what's your view on this? Does it strike you as rude since it's a second baby, or is it a nice thing to do? Is it a case where we should do it for a baby girl, but not for a second son? Like I said, all babies deserve a celebration, but the grandparents would really pile the guilt on our friends (not us, but I wouldn't care if it were us!) if it's a rude thing to do, so I don't want to put them in an awkward position.
Logistics-wise, if the baby is due in mid-March then when's the best time to throw a Sip and See party? How far in advance would invites be sent out for a local group? And as a guest, would you prefer a Saturday or a Sunday for such a party?
We just threw our own. DD was about a month old. We had a barbeque before DH went back to work (teacher). I'd be fine with someone throwing me a party, though.
Plan for the end of April, send out invites after the baby is born, and I wouldn't care too much what day. You might want to plan it around the big brother's nap time (early afternoons are likely bad).
Post by countthestars on Jan 15, 2014 14:17:13 GMT -5
I think that sounds great and not rude at all, especially if you are requesting no gifts. I would feel very honored if my friends did that for me for baby #2.
I think it's fine. Sip and sees are very common in my circle. They are most often held by the baby's grandparents as an opportunity to introduce everyone to the new baby at once, particularly when the grandbaby lives out of state and is in town for a visit. They are not treated as gift giving occasions, though inevitable a few people bring a little something, and are considered acceptable for second (or third, etc.) babies, while second showers would definitely be frowned upon.
I was recently invited to a "chug and hug," which is apparently a co-ed sip and see (i.e., sip n see = ladies having a glass of Chardonnay or iced tea and petit fours in the afternoon, chug and hug = couples at an evening party with dinner or heavy apps and a full bar). This was the first I had heard the term.
Why on EARTH are the g'parents part of this conversation at all? That would really piss me off.
Beats me. But if they thought it was rude, they'd have no problem saying it out loud at the party ETA: normally I think they would just brush off their comments, but the grandparents live close by and they depend on them for daily childcare, so they understandably don't want to deal with any nagging.
Thanks guys! Once Baby arrives we'll ask our friends what they want to do.
i think it's a great idea, but i love any excuse to hang out with my friends - bonus when there is a new baby involved!
the grandparents can kindly not attend if they are going to be such spoil sports about it. it's not about the gifts, it's about celebrating a new milestone with friends. if they can't get that, they can't come. hmph.
Why on EARTH are the g'parents part of this conversation at all? That would really piss me off.
Beats me. But if they thought it was rude, they'd have no problem saying it out loud at the party
Thanks guys! Once Baby arrives we'll ask our friends what they want to do.
Why not propose it as a friend come-and-go thing so everyone can meet the new baby and the parents don't have to deal with lots of drop-ins and avoid the grandparents all together? If the parents prefer, they could even wait until baby is 2 months old and a little less fragile.
Personally, I would love this. No need to tidy the house or clean!
Post by cricketwife on Jan 15, 2014 15:43:50 GMT -5
I think it's a great idea. I wouldn't even say no gifts -- sip and sees are just that and if someone wants to bring a gift let them. Or I would say "BABY X is the gift at this get together" which honors the baby but doesn't flat out say no gifts. The only thing I would suggest is not to schedule it until after the baby is born. You never know when the baby will be born or how difficult the recovery will be.
Post by MadamePresident on Jan 15, 2014 16:03:56 GMT -5
My friend did one and it was really cute. I didn't bring a gift, but it was for her first child and we had a shower for her. It was a good opportunity for a lot of people to come by and see the baby and have snacks.
FWIW. I think if someone had 10 children and did a sip and see for each one, it would be completely appropriate.
I'd even offer to bring a bunch of snacks and decorations to their own house, if they wanted to do an open house themselves, but they just moved in and they already have their hands full with that plus DS1.
I'll run it by them after the baby arrives and things settle down a bit. I won't be offended if they say no, and of course I'll bring them gifts either way, but I just like hosting parties
Post by redpenmama on Jan 15, 2014 16:39:57 GMT -5
I think it's a nice idea and definitely not tacky. I would do a open-house-type event with some light apps on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon. As long as you don't do it early Sunday for the church crowd, I think either day works.
I think the sip and see sounds lovely. Especially if it's not in their home. If for some reason they don't want to go this route, maybe you could organize meals/housework/errands for them. The shower for the arrival of baby one is great, but the help for baby two is priceless too.
Post by galaxy8227 on Jan 15, 2014 19:13:13 GMT -5
My mom wants to host one for DD next month sometime. A nice get together for her people to see Lily all at once. No gifts--just light apps and wine. I'm looking forward to it.