A two second food allergy vent

[y4m]

I am allergic to wheat.  I won't die if I eat it, but I will get hives for days and it will suck.  Anyway...

My work does these group mixer dinners.  So the group leader (who doesn't know me well) throws out Mexican, Thai, and Greek as initial options, and asks if anyone has any dietary restrictions.  I reply - just FYI, I'm allergic to wheat, but the three places you suggested all work great for me.

She comes back with a final choice of…Italian.  And there's a note in there like "Y4M, you should be able to find something here" with a link to the menu.  Not. Likely.  Italian is like the one cuisine that is very difficult to work with.

The last time, the group leader (who does know me, and my allergies) came up with pizza and beer.  I was giving him a pass like he didn't understand allergies until I learned last week that his daughter has a peanut allergy and carries an epi pen.

I feel like I am doing this wrong, because it's not that freaking hard and people just pay no freaking attention.  I guess it's hard to imagine avoiding wheat unless you've done it?  But seriously Italian?  Pizza?  Is that not obvious?

[lya]

People suck. I'm sorry you have to deal with this.

[womet]

That sucks. Do you think that it would help if you remind people what types of food have wheat in them? Could you write back and let her know that the italian place is not a place where you can eat safely and see if it can be moved to one of the first options instead?

[Deleted]

Wtf. They are so dumb. Can you just walk in there with a takeout bag and hand the organizer a receipt to reimburse you for a dinner you can eat?

[luvmagoldn]

I'm sorry - it sucks. Vent away.

[Deleted]

That sucks. Do you have to go? If not, I would respond at tell her that wheat is in just about every italian meal and that no, you can't really find anything.

If you do have to go, I guess you could probably have a salad or something but that isn't very exciting.

[y4m]

I do have to go.

The scary thing is this particular coordinator is high up in our HR org. You'd think if anyone got it, or tried to get it, it would be HR.

[womet]

Well there is bound to be wine there, so just drink your dinner.

[hbomdiggity]

Yeah I think your going to have to be more explicit about what contains wheat. But it could be that they think including a side salad is an accommodation.

[hamster]

H has been able to substitute noodles for broccoli before. Could you try that?

[msmerymac]

If this isn't mandatory, I would SO reply and tell her that unfortunately you won't be able to find something you can eat at that restaurant, but you hope to join them next time.

[ECB]

I think you need to be more forceful.  I don't think people take "wheat allergies" very seriously because of all the "gluten free" diet crazes.  Speak up.  Say "No, actually Italian is one of the hardest places for me to find something to eat.",  "Actually, pizza and beer is a no for me.  I can't have either of those.".

You shouldn't always have to "find something".

That being said, I would, at least, find out if the restaurant keeps GF pasta on hand.  We have a local place that does.  I was actually surprised. 

[ECB]

And/or perhaps talk to the 2 people who keep making these "mistakes" and more clearly explain to them what happens if you eat wheat. And why tehse options aren't good for you. Reinforce that there are a lot of options that are perfectly fine- you truly don't want to be a roadblock. BUT of all the options - Italian just isn't easy for you.

I realize it's work and it might be hard, but if you try to educate them, they might be more receptive. A few years ago we took a big group vacation. I emailed everyone to tell them a few things that we were going to have to do for DS. It was more to avoid cross contamination than anything. But - I got a few responses of "Thank you! I would never have thought of that. Thanks for letting us know.".

[AAM2012]

y4m I have celiac and I don't expect people to accommodate me. If me and my co-workers go out for a group/unit lunch and there isn't anything safe for me to eat then I'll just eat a snack beforehand, get a drink and chit-chat while they eat. It really isn't a big deal for me or them.

Also when the executives come and we have lunch (there is a group of us) we normally get a salad and I'll ask for one w/o dressing and I'll eat that and when the main lunch comes out I just cut it up and move it around while talking with everyone. I don't like being the center of attention and I hate to make a big deal in front of others. Then again, I get super sick if I have any gluten so maybe it's a little different, I'm not sure.

I think if you're telling people you have a wheat allergy you're going to have to be more informative...most people hear wheat and they think bread. You're going to have to say "I can only eat at xyz places, do any of these options work?" I find that most people aren't trying to be a-holes (even though it seems that way), it's just they don't understand wheat allergies and celiac as they do a peanut allergy because peanut is one particular thing, while wheat us in so many things people don't even realize and gluten is barley, wheat, rye, etc.

[kimibrighteyes]

Agree with previous posters - many Italian places have gluten free pasta. As well, could you do a chicken breast with some vegetables if that is available?

[lemons]

We struggle with GF options in groups, too. Even H's family doesn't accommodate, so I bring food for us to eat when we all get together.

[mskitkat]

I fully understand. Too many people see "allergy" and think "fad diet" for some reason. It sucks.

[ECB]

I think, too, what bothers me about this specific scenario is that they specifically ASK about food issues. Then when told, they disregard it and specifically pick an option that's not as easy for the OP. Why bother asking, then?

I never expect accommodations for my son. I go into every event, party, etc w/ the expectation of having to provide his food. If someone specifically asked about food issues and then specifically picked stuff my son couldn't eat, THEN I'd be annoyed. It's fine if you don't want to accommodate him, but don't fricking ask about it then!

[Muddled]

Ugh. Why did they even ask?

[msmerymac]

I'm not sure how the gluten free pasta works (well, I know they make it with rice or corn or whatever), but I'm wondering if cross contamination is an issue, unless they have a specific gluten-free menu and area of the kitchen where these things can be prepared. Not sure how y4m's allergy works, but, for example, with a peanut allergy, having any peanut products being prepared in the same space at all can still cause an issue. I thought gluten free pasta and crust at Italian places was mostly for those doing GF for dietary reasons and not reaction reasons.

[polarbearfans]

Not helpful to this, but California pizza kitchen got rid of wheat flour from their kitchen to prevent cross contamination while they are tossing their pizza. They are also certified gluten free and have inspections often. The toppings for the gluten free pizzas are kept apart from the regular pizzas. Just read an article in gluten free living and I am looking forward to trying them out soon!

[curbsideprophet]

I'm sorry. I am also wondering why they even bothered to ask.

[mbcdefg]

I'm sorry.

Maybe you need to specifically say, "Id like to order from XYZ Restaurant."

[tacom]

I agree that Italian is a cuisine that's particularly hard to work with, but I've always been able to order a salad or a plain chicken breast if I'm at a restaurant and can order off a full menu. Sometimes wine and cheese too! I think as long as there is *something* to order off the menu, then it's fine for the group to decide on a restaurant where you have fewer options... but it's kind of silly to ask about allergies and cuisine preferences pretending to care if they clearly don't. And, of course, it would be nice if they could throw in a non gluten-centric meal once in a while.

It does make me RAGE when meals are pre-ordered for events and it's all pizza, sandwiches, breaded meatballs, pastries, etc. For our department's last celebratory dinner, I was stuck with stupid carrot sticks dipped in ranch.  (wilted)

[agnes]

I think it's completely stupid that they threw out suggestions and you said you were okay with those AND THEN they chose something completely different. I would be very annoyed.

[SusanBAnthony]

I know a couple pizza places local to me have two levels of wheat free. They have one where they buy the GF crust, unwrap it, and use clean serving spoons to put on toppings. But the potential is still there for cross contamination since of course there is also wheat dough everywhere, and a container of sauce could have gotten some wheat in it, etc. And they have completely safe GF pizza that is made off site, and comes fully wrapped, and they just bake it. There are obviously only a couple options for that.

Not helpful at all for the OP, but something to ask about for all you wheat free people.

[audette]

Vent away! That bites! And the organizer is clueless...

[polarbearfans]

Jan 15, 2014 20:38:49 GMT -5 carrotsmakemefat said:

Jan 15, 2014 20:34:30 GMT -5 polarbearfans said:

Not helpful to this, but California pizza kitchen got rid of wheat flour from their kitchen to prevent cross contamination while they are tossing their pizza. They are also certified gluten free and have inspections often. The toppings for the gluten free pizzas are kept apart from the regular pizzas. Just read an article in gluten free living and I am looking forward to trying them out soon!

Whhhhhaaatttt? All GF pizza!!!

No not all gluten free but they have worked to make it safe for gluten free diners. They have their regular pizzas and gluten free pizzas. Before because of all the flour in the air, it basic contaminated all the gluten free pizzas, so they got rid of the wheat flour they would toss the pizzas with. the regular pizzas are still made with wheat flour in a separate area with a gluten free flour to toss, forget which one.

[lasagnasshole]

What an idiot. I hear wheat allergy, and I immediately think Mexican, Asian, or steakhouse.

Obviously not the same because of the allergy issue, but this person reminds me of my dad. When I visited him in October, he asked if I had any preferences for where we went to eat. I said Mexican or BBQ since I was back in Texas. He immediately replied with, "How about (Italian restaurant)?"

WTF? Why even ask if you're not going to take responses consideration? I feel like that makes it worse because it's easier to brush off if you are operating under the assumption that the planner is ignorant.

I planned a wheat-free picnic for us (that was rained out). It's not that hard! I made cornflake cookies!

[ESF]

Once, a friend organized a big group dinner at Buca de Beppo. One of the attendees had celiac, and there literally was not a single thing on the menu she could eat. The waiter had no idea how to help her because it's not like they really cook there, they just dump out stuff from a freezer.

Finally, they wound up bringing this poor woman a microwaved chicken breast on a plate, with nothing else.

So yeah, I'd be pissed if I were you. People are morons. Your food issue is not hard to work around.