My BFF offered to be there if I want her, which caught me off guard. She's been there for her sisters' deliveries so I guess it's a normal thing for her. I asked H about it since he's squeamish and she could step in if need be, and he said it was my call. I think I only want my H there. I don't want BFF to look at my vagina. That's not weird, right?
Post by Cricket0619 on Jan 20, 2014 17:40:56 GMT -5
It will be H and I. My parents will come to the hospital when I go into labor. I want my mom at the hospital in case I all of a sudden want her. Otherwise for the pushing part probably just H and I.
Post by sunshine608 on Jan 20, 2014 17:58:16 GMT -5
H maybe my mom and MIL. I think I'll draw the line at our sisters (although one is a doctor).
I had surgery "down there" few years ago and they all helped me while i was n the hospital so they have basically seen it all anyway. Open gowns and whatnot. No modesty left here.
H only! I'm hoping not to even let anyone know I'm in labor until after she arrives. I don't want people jumping into their cars and driving right over. No no no no no.
Ditto, and I don't want to hear H's phone vibrating getting text messages from people wanting an update. No news until it's over!
The plan was to have MH only. However he informed me today that he will be standing outside with cigars. I told him that A) He doesnt smoke, B) You can't smoke in a hospital anymore. He thought for a second, and said that he will still be standing outside holding onto a cigar. Dork.
Omg, my husband says almost the same thing; that he will be in the waiting room drinking scotch and smoking a cigar until it's over. Ha!
I just plan on my husband, and if our hospital/insurance covers a doula, maybe her too. There's no way I'd want any other family or friends there. Heck, I don't even want to see what's going on down there
Do some insurances cover doulas? How do you go about finding that out? Every time I've called my ins to check on coverage, I have to have the procedure code. It would be awesome if they did!
I actually have no idea, I figure I'll ask about it at my next appointment to see if they are even at the hospital we're delivering at and then call our insurance company.
It was just J in the delivery room with me-my mom's philosphy was "I wasn't there when the baby was conceived, I sure as hell don't want to be there when it's delivered." I love my mom.
However, if I had had to have a c/s then J would have called her come down to the hospital to stay with me immediately after the c/s so he could go with AJ but it didn't come to that.
I had a c-section and she was a preemie. It was only me in there along with medical personnel. We had agreed ahead of time that my husband is squeamish and didn't want to be there. I know my mom wouldn't want to be there either. The whole procedure took 45 minutes. The anesthesia resident was a really nice girl and she talked to me when I felt I needed to be chatty and gave me tissues when I was trying to hold back tears. I also asked her to go take a peek and see if my daughter had a head of hair because I thought I had glimpsed some hair as they brought her to their corner to do her assessments.
My husband, parents, and brother waited outside in the hallway. They actually got to spend more time with the baby than I did when they wheeled her out of the operating room on the way to the NICU. I was given like 30 seconds of having the baby next to my face and then didn't get to see her until 24 hours later.
The staff did ask a bunch of times if I was sure that I didn't want my husband or mother there. They asked them too. We all gave the same answer.
I was planning my whole pregnancy to just have MH there while I pushed/delivered, I didn't really see any reason for anyone else to be there. Well... I went though transition and was ready to push so fast that I just didn't give a fuck so both of my parents and H's dad were there. I think that they really appreciate that they were able to share the experience, at least I know my dad was. They stayed far away and I don't think they saw anything I wouldn't want them to see, so it wasn't a big deal in the end.
Just DH and I. And the nurse, med student, residents, etc, lol. That's how it was for our first two and it was perfect. DH is awesome during L&D, and he has a calming effect on me. My mom on the other hand (who requested to be there for my first and was heartbroken when I said no) has the special talent of infuriating me and making me cry by her simply being around me when I am stressed, lol. She got over it, and is now excited to get to watch our girls while we are in the hospital.
oceanspray 6 hours later I'm still reading that thread on an off! There are over 25 pages and I am DYING at some of these. It's making me so glad MIL is 1,600 miles away and has barely asked about the pregnancy/birth.
Post by amaristella on Jan 21, 2014 1:24:54 GMT -5
I only had (and only wanted) DH there with the medical personnel. The reason being is that I wanted the three of us to get acclimated and start getting to know each other without any expectations of having to "share" the baby or socialize or take pictures. I wanted it to be personal in that way. I was very happy with the way that it turned out.
Edit: Also my husband is majorly squeamish. He stayed up at my head, did non so much as venture further down than my shoulder and he was okay. Like, they offered three times to let him cut the cord before I finally told them to simply have the nurse do it. Of course I didn't get an epidural or anything so there wasn't much really for him to see. I also declined the mirror to view progress because I had my eyes closed most of the time anyhow. Or I stared at the ceiling. The ceiling tiles in my hospital have cute ocean creatures carved on them. But I digress.
My family is ridiculously close and not modest in the least. For DD it was DH, my mom, and my sis. When my sister had her baby it was her BF, my mom, my youngest sister, and myself.
My mom was pissy for quite a few years after DD was born that she wasn't in the room. It's just not what I wanted or needed at that moment and while I am sorry she couldn't accept that, I don't regret my decision.
For DD's birth, DH, my doula and my doctor were in the delivery room, plus some nurses. I imagine it will be the same for baby #2. DH mentioned wanting DD in the room, too, but I think it would be scary for her to see me in pain and hard for me to focus with her there.
Post by browneyedgirl9 on Jan 26, 2014 10:57:59 GMT -5
I had my husband and my mom. I'm really close with my mom, and always knew i wanted her there.
Im pretty modest, but i have to say when you are in labor you don't care. I honestly didn't care how many nurses and people were in and out of the room while my lady parts were hanging out. I remembered people always telling me that i wouldn't care once i was in labor, and never believed them and thought i would be totally freaked out by being on display! But it's true i didn't care!
Post by statlerwaldorf on Jan 26, 2014 16:42:56 GMT -5
I had just DH there when I had DD.
I am planning on having just DH if I have a VBAC, but if I decided to have a scheduled c-section we are going to invite my mom. She is dying to be there. She regrets not having her mom there with one of her children. She was planning on having her there with my youngest brother, but he decided to have other plans and my grandma couldn't make it to the hospital in time.
Just DH and I. If for any reason DH doesn't make it in time (he does contract work so he's always OOT) then I'll probably have one or both of my sisters with me. No IL's, no parents, nobody else.