The HR talk...updated

[lulu21]

Since I went over and no one was there twice, I can elaborate. 

I am 95% sure I will not be going back after leave.  I will use all PTO, sick days, then maternity leave.  They have advertised a temp, with the possibility of a full time position.  I feel very pressured into making a decision. I really would like to stay at home but maybe theres that 5%chance I would want to go back after my leave... I just dont want to screw myself out of a job by saying I am not coming back. I understand that they need to know when I plan to start my leave, etc. I just don't feel comfortable making that final decision right now...   Hopefully that clears it up. 

Thanks!

[Deleted]

What do you mean "your plans"? They are entitled to find out when your approximate leave and return date is so that they can make arrangements to have your position covered in your absence. Are they asking anything else?

[lulu21]

Jan 20, 2014 13:22:09 GMT -5 @mjmksb04 said:

What do you mean "your plans"? They are entitled to find out when your approximate leave and return date is so that they can make arrangements to have your position covered in your absence. Are they asking anything else?

They pretty much want to know if I will be coming back or not. I did not think they can ask me that now, even though I do not plan on coming back.

They also advertised for a temp for my job... Before I've said anything about my leave.

[Deleted]

If you are using FMLA, I think that they can ask you that. I am not an HR expert though. Are you coming back at all after maternity leave or putting in notice while on leave?

[pinotgrig]

If you're not planning on retuning to work, why aren't you going to be upfront about that?

[lulu21]

Jan 20, 2014 13:50:38 GMT -5 pinotgrig said:

If you're not planning on retuning to work, why aren't you going to be upfront about that?

I'm 95% sure I will not go back. I don't want to say I am defiantly not coming back incase something changes...

[pinotgrig]

Jan 20, 2014 13:54:01 GMT -5 lulu21 said:

Jan 20, 2014 13:50:38 GMT -5 pinotgrig said:

If you're not planning on retuning to work, why aren't you going to be upfront about that?

I'm 95% sure I will not go back. I don't want to say I am defiantly not coming back incase something changes...

Do you plan to take advantage of your company's ML or other leave policies that may include pay? If so, just make sure you understand them very clearly. Some places can make you repay benefits if you give notice while on leave or shortly after returning to work.

If I were in your situation, I would be to come back after leave, let work know, and then work out finding your replacement. Is that an option for you? May make it easier to get back into your industry (or with your same company) when/if you decide to start working again.

[Deleted]

I work in HR and I am not seeing how it is illegal for them to ask this question.

[FastHands]

I think you're confusing your situation with the legality of asking if you are pregnant/planning to have children during a job interview.

[FastHands]

Jan 20, 2014 14:03:13 GMT -5 pinotgrig said:

Jan 20, 2014 13:54:01 GMT -5 lulu21 said:

I'm 95% sure I will not go back. I don't want to say I am defiantly not coming back incase something changes...

Do you plan to take advantage of your company's ML or other leave policies that may include pay? If so, just make sure you understand them very clearly. Some places can make you repay benefits if you give notice while on leave or shortly after returning to work.

And ditto the bolded. Not to mention, it's just really crappy form to soak up your benefits and then ditch without notice, even if there are no financial penalties on your end.

[lulu21]

Jan 20, 2014 14:54:05 GMT -5 FastHands said:

Jan 20, 2014 14:03:13 GMT -5 pinotgrig said:

Do you plan to take advantage of your company's ML or other leave policies that may include pay? If so, just make sure you understand them very clearly. Some places can make you repay benefits if you give notice while on leave or shortly after returning to work.

And ditto the bolded. Not to mention, it's just really crappy form to soak up your benefits and then ditch without notice, even if there are no financial penalties on your end.

They have told me that regardless if I come back or not I get my mat. leave and benefits. I won't be using health insurance because we are under H's. 

[Yankees21]

If you aren't sure whether or not you would return, I would plan with your work like you will return (having them hire a temp, etc). If while on leave you decide for sure you want to stay home, let them know as soon as possible. There have been some women here who have thought they wanted to stay home and then changed their minds while on leave, so if you aren't 100%, I don't think it's unfair not to tell them at this point but as soon as you make a decision for sure.

[Deleted]

Jan 20, 2014 15:10:01 GMT -5 lulu21 said:

Jan 20, 2014 14:54:05 GMT -5 FastHands said:

And ditto the bolded. Not to mention, it's just really crappy form to soak up your benefits and then ditch without notice, even if there are no financial penalties on your end.

They have told me that regardless if I come back or not I get my mat. leave and benefits. I won't be using health insurance because we are under H's. 

You should get this in writing or check that it is in your employee handbook before you make a decision. I would not just rely on a verbal statement.

[Deleted]

Jan 20, 2014 14:54:05 GMT -5 FastHands said:

Jan 20, 2014 14:03:13 GMT -5 pinotgrig said:

Do you plan to take advantage of your company's ML or other leave policies that may include pay? If so, just make sure you understand them very clearly. Some places can make you repay benefits if you give notice while on leave or shortly after returning to work.

And ditto the bolded. Not to mention, it's just really crappy form to soak up your benefits and then ditch without notice, even if there are no financial penalties on your end.

Well usually those benefits are earned by the time ML comes around, regardless of whether or not she comes back. I am a strong proponent of telling work if you really have no intention of going back just because it is harmful to women who get pregnant and do fully plan on coming back. It also really leaves the company in a lurch and burns bridges if you plan on reentering the workforce later and need a referral or something.

lulu21 It does sound like you really don't plan on going back and I would be totally honest in letting them know that since it sounds like you have a lot of responsibility there and they are going to need someone to fill your position. Plus, like you said...your job is brutal and not what you want after baby comes anyways.

[chickadee77]

My supervisor was so happy when I volunteered that I plan to return, because she said she is not allowed to ask me. However, I do not qualify for FMLA, and HR itself asking that question may be different, I don't know.

[kershnic]

My work has basically asked if I plan to return. I don't think it's an odd question - if I know my plans they have a right to make their own plans. In my case I know for 100% sure that I will return to work for 2 months (while my wife is on maternity leave) and I think I'm going to stay back at work. They don't need to know there's a possibility I'd quit at that point. But if you know your plans...then tell them. At my work if I quit without going back for at least a month I would owe my health insurance premiums back, but that's it. But my maternity leave pay is all previously accrued benefits, no special maternity leave pay. Definitely something to be very clear on if you think you're leaving.

[JayhawkGirl]

I would go about it as here is my leave, I'm planning to take x weeks. I would not mention you're considering not returning. It happens. It's why women who know they are returning aren't believed. I dealt with that and it was fine. About half the women at my company didn't return but wanted to take advantage of the STD payout after having paid the premium for so long. And I get that- it was the only may leave we had.

I returned, and didnt make a peep about planning to stay home until the day I gave notice two years later. I told my mom and sister the night before. The plan had been in the works for three years at that point. I knew once they knew I had no claim to my job and they could make life miserable or walk me out the door that day. Neither happened, but I couldn't risk it.

You have to look out for yourself and your job first. Protect that job until you are 100% sure you are ready to hand it over.

[lulu21]

I'm going to try to talk to them again tomorrow. I'll get everything in writing. And I'll just tell them exactly what I said here. And yes @missy1 it is pretty brutal. My boss offered to let me work 8--4 5 days a week ( that's taking a cut in hours and days ...)