Helping DD make friends?

[Deleted]

Do you help your kids make friends? As in, seek out kids their age to hang around with?

DD is 15 months old, and I'm probably over thinking this. She's in daycare full time and will likely remain in daycare/ preschool until kindergarten. We both work full time and by the weekend we only want to have family time. She's never been on a "play date," or really been invited to another kid's birthday party. She is the only grandchild and most of our friends with kids aren't local.

She's a super sweet, fun, spunky girl and I don't want her to be lonely :-)

[arch01]

honestly? i don't have much time for that.

DS gets a TON of socializing in at daycare. i'm in a mom's group but a lot of the meet ups are during the day when we're working... and our weekends tend to be pretty packed with getting stuff done. DS is often the last dropped off and the first picked up, so we don't see any other parents to even meet and talk about getting together.

i think you're over thinking this.

[imojoebunny]

I would not worry about it at her age. She goes to daycare, so she gets plenty of time with other kids. Do what you guys enjoy on the weekends while you still can. If you want to socialize, maybe you could invite a parent over from the daycare for an afternoon cocktail but if not, don't. Eventually, your kid will be old enough to demand to play with other kids or have sports and other activities, and then it will come naturally.

[Marmee]

My DD1 pretty much never hung out with other kids until she was over 2yrs & then that was just the park or her infant sister. She was no worse for the wear. She got her first real friends in preschool which was 3yrs old. She's super outgoing, social & independent. I wouldn't worry about it, she's practically still a baby & kids parallel play until 2-3yrs anyway.

[dcrunnergirl52]

I think at 15 months, "friends" aren't necessary. If she's in daycare, that's probably plenty of social interaction. At your DD's age, she's still mostly into parallel play, and won't really be into social/interactive play until about 2 years old or so and won't really, really get into it until close to 3 (like be able to carry on full games, pretend activities, etc.). I say this as someone whose kids had built in playmates who basically just coexisted/played along side each other and didn't become true friends until they were about 2 years old.

[ECB]

At 15 months, I really wouldn't worry about it. I didn't really start actively trying to help DS make friends until he was over 3. That's when I thought about playdates, etc.

DS is an only child/grandchild and we have a very small immediate family. I'm pretty aware of this and really want to make sure he has friends, etc. So I do understand where you're coming from. I just think 15 months is too young.

I want to say that DS was easily close to 3, or even a little older, before HE started talking about his "friends" and wanting to see them on the weekends, etc. That's when I started paying more attention and making an effort to set up playdates.

And trust me - you may find that who YOU want her to be friends with (because maybe you like the mom, or whatever) may not always work out. I've absolutely found that DS is drawn to certain kids but not to others. Or that a friendship will come about in it's own time. I tried to foster a friendship w/ one neighborhood kid. It kind of fell flat for awhile. But now they are in the same preschool class and just the other day, I went to a snowday playdate and this boy was there - they ran up to each other and gave each other a hug. NOW they are actually friends and like one another. A year ago? Not so much.

[redheadk]

My DD is 19 months (OMG!) and I'm a SAHM. I do have lots of mom friends with kids around the same age but, honestly, she doesn't seem super concerned with kids her own age. She mostly ignores them. She ADORES older kids. She likes to point out babies and tell me "bah-bah" or whatever.

DD attends Mother's Day Out (mini-preschool for the toddler set, a few hours twice a week) and I know she has a little friend there. They hold hands on the way to chapel. Other than that, it's mostly all parallel play, duking it out for toys, and fighting off the other kids that are trying to eat your snack that you don't want but don't want to share.

[Deleted]

Perhaps I'm being weird about it; she is only 15 months.

[redpenmama]

We joined a playgroup when DD was very young, more for me than her. Over time, she started interacting with the kids. I would say she hasn't really developed her "own" friends until this year (age 2), and most of that was forced through her two-day-a-week morning preschool. I think socialization in any form is good for little ones, and friendships will probably develop over time through that.

[karinothing]

Feb 16, 2014 16:37:10 GMT -5 @idaholakelady said:

Perhaps I'm being weird about it; she is only 15 months.

Eh, I don't think you are weird. DS has friends at dayare but I also make sure we have lots of play dates with people (generally our friends that have kids the same age). I want him to foster relationships from a young age, and I would say since 18 months or so he started to ask to hang out with people. I think in our area it can be hard to have friends because people are so freaken busy all the time so I feel like I need to put extra effort in. I know that kids don't really play with other kids until at least 2, but I don't see any reason why I shouldn't start now.

But I don't think you are a bad parent for not doing more. I am just a crazy person

[curbsideprophet]

I would not stress about it yet. DD started getting invited to birthday parties from daycare friends when kids started turning two. We don't do many playdates outside of that right now. We sometimes get together with other friends who have kids, but it is not necessarily just to get the kids together.

[Deleted]

I think you're fine. DD has "friends" but I SAH and they are all my pre-pregnancy friends who also SAH. She also gets socialization at music/dance/tumbling class but we don't hang out with any of those people outside of class. And we don't see my mom friends on the weekends really. Just now at 22.5months my daughter is starting to remember/recognize her friends and they are juuuust starting to play together as opposed to next to each other. So anyway, my point is that even though your situation is different I think both situations are fine! I'm sure she enjoys the down time getting to hang out with you guys on the weekends:)

[ECB]

You're not weird! Trust me, I get the desire. And you never know- she could make a friend at 15 months who is her best friend when they are both 90! But. I just feel that friendships at that age are more about the parents than the kids.

I actually have found it really neat to watch DS make friends, seeing who he's drawn to, how he plays w/ them - when it's just them vs in groups, etc.

And really- what I've learned is that you can't force it.

[Deleted]

Honestly? My kid goes to daycare for this very reason. I thought that was half the point.
Other than that right now she has ECFE class on Monday nights and her cousins a couple times a month.
Good enough for me. She seems happy.
In another year she goes to PreK and then she can make friends all she wants.

[Brie]

I wouldn't worry about it at her age at all. C has never really done a formal play date because they really are still in parallel play age so there's no benefit.

I have made friends with some moms of kids in his DC class and we will do the play date thing as he gets older probably.