how/when to put a baby on schedule

[cricketwife]

How and when do you put a baby on a schedule?  I don't mean anything rigid, just some sort of general schedule.  DS is 5 weeks.  I've read Baby Wise twice - once before he was born and once after and it's totally not worked for us.  Or maybe we're just incapable of following the book.  Part of me feels he's too young for a schedule, but part of me is ready to have a bit of a routine in our lives.  We have barely left the house in the last 5 weeks.  This is largely because I haven't wanted to/been ready.  The first 3 weeks of his life were really, really hard for me.  It's also flu season and I'm not in a rush to go anywhere. But the other reason is I feel hostage to his lack of schedule.  I don't know when he's going down for 15 minutes or for 5 hours (we've had a few 5 hour stretches at night and they've been glorious!).  Even his fussy time seems to vary day to day, sometimes morning, sometimes afternoon, sometimes evening -- although it's probably more often in the evening. 

I have a feeling that there will be a lot of "he's only 5 weeks, you don't put him on a schedule" responses, and if that's so, that's fine.  (Although the pediatrician did suggest that I start getting him on a schedule -- of course it's the pedi I don't like- lol!)  So if I don't put him on a schedule, what to I do to help me be able to make plans out of the house?  I feel like so many people are like "I left the house with my 2 day old baby!"  and I totally don't know how to do that.

This is another post and run. He's sleeping so I need to be to!  I'll check in in the morning.  Thanks!

[teatimefor2]

We started doing a loose schedule around eight weeks. By loose I mean book, nurse and bed.

Give yourself time to get use to being a mommy and getting to learn your baby's own schedule. Around eight weeks, DS started to naturally develop his own routine and I just followed his cues. That worked for us and you'll find what works for you.

[lolo]

I would focus less on a schedule and more on developing a routine based on his cues.

[Deleted]

Like Teatime, my son developed his own schedule at around 7 weeks. But before (and since) then we took him wherever we were going regardless if schedule. Granted it was summer and we didn't go far but I felt great just having a reason to our makeup on.

[piaffe]

DS is a month old today and we've had a pretty set schedule for couple of weeks now. We typically try and feed his last bottle between 9-10pm then it's up to him when he wakes at night for his feedings but normally we are around 2-3 then 6-7. So that starts our day around 9-10 then I do every three hours during the day to establish day night versus night time. I try and keep him awake after his noon bottle with reading, tummy time, or walking around talking to him bout things. He normally will nap at least an hour before every feeding sometimes more sometimes less just depends on the day.

Hope this helps.

On phone please forgive.

[turtlegirl]

I think around 2-3 months we followed a loose "eat, play, sleep" routine. It definitely wasn't a timetable schedule yet.

I didn't leave the house too much with my first besides a weekly moms group and to see family.

But with my second I left the house pretty much right away because my toddler had a routine and needed to get out of the house. And I was just more confident in my ability to feed/change a baby on the go.

We had a more solid timetable schedule with both boys around 4-6 months. But it all changed pretty fast. Babies are always changing.

[h]

Aside from having a general bedtime from about 4+ months on and general meal times from 6+ months once they are eating solids, we have never really had a schedule. Nursing has always just happened whenever they want to, and naps happen when they show signs of being tired.

As far as leaving the house, I just did it. If we were out and the baby needed to sleep, he slept in the car or in a carrier. If he needed to eat, I fed him. Most newborns don't really care where they sleep and eat. They are just as happy to do it in Target as at home.

[urbancowgirl]

I felt just like you did in the beginning. I was all out of whack because my baby's sleep and wake times were so unpredictable. Eventually, I learned to go with the flow but it took me months to do that. I agree with the suggestion to develop a routine instead of a schedule. DS is 7.5 months and we still don't have a set schedule, but his routine became fairly predictable at 3 or 4 months. I get DS up around the same time every day and I think that helps him to find a rhythm to the day. We also put him to bed at the same time every night.

Good luck! It's so hard in the beginning, but it will get easier.

[countthestars]

We didn't have a schedule until at least five months in. I thought babywise was a big no no?

[mcfelix]

We started a loose schedule around 8 weeks. The only real element of the schedule was putting him to bed in his crib around 6:30/7. This was completely our pedi's suggestion and it worked very well for us.

As far as going out, I took DS out whenever. He would nap in the car or stroller. I didn't put him down for regular naps while I was on maternity leave - While at home I would let him fall asleep on me on the couch when he was nursing, or put him in the rock and play. But we spent a lot of time at the mall.

[salliekate]

Around 8-10 weeks, we found some sort of natural rhythm. Based on what time they started the day, I could predict what times they'd want to eat (they were formula-fed if that makes a difference), what times they'd want to nap, etc. It's really frustrating to feel like this tiny person is totally ruling your day and your life, but he is. I think you just have to look for the routine that will naturally arise. Pay attention to his cues and go from there. I really liked Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It promotes the idea that sleep begets sleep which was so true in our case. It saved my life.

As for outings, I agree with some of the PPs that you should start small and go out prepared with an exit strategy. Take the baby to the coffee shop. If that goes well, run by the pharmacy. Or whatever. Doing a little at a time will get you more used to it and remember that it's not the end of the world if he cries in the grocery store. Trust me. I've pushed a buggy of 3 screaming toddlers out of the store. Sometimes it just happens.

[shellbear09]

Good advice here. A 5 hour stretch is great and that is what we had at that age. The day was varied and really didn't get into a good routine until dc at 12 weeks.

And also don't feel like you have to make set time plans. For example I would tell someone I'll let you know when the baby is up and we leave the house at that time.

[dulcemariamar]

I think my LO was on a really clear schedule at six months when we followed the 2-3-4 schedule. I know that is probably not what you want to hear but before six months my LO would eat and sleep hwn she wanted to. I liked the idea of the EASY schedule but my LO nursed to sleep the first year and it worked for us so we didnt see the reason to try to avoid the nurse to sleep association.

I think you just need to start small. The baby will cry in public but all babies cry in public. It would also be good for the baby to learn how to sleep in other places like a stroller or carrier. I would always plan my nap around my outings. So if I knew that my LO was going to want to sleep soon, I would feed her and then leave. She would fall asleep in the car or walking around a mall.

[browneyedgirl9]

My little guy is 5 weeks too! We don't have much of a schedule. But he is getting into a little pattern. During the day he eats every 2-3 hours. He will usually stay up in the morning from 8am until 12pm, then nap fit a bit. Then take another nap later I'm the afternoon before dinner time. Then is usually up from 7pm till 10pm, which i when i feed him and put him down for the night. As of right now he is doing 2 5-hour stretches at night, then usually will sleep again till 8-9am, sometimes i do side lying nursing and he will cuddle in with me for that last hour.

Getting out of the house is hard, but we still have gone a few places. He will usually sleep in the car. I'm usually not out for long, but just long enough to run an errand. I only started going out with him last weekend.

[spanikopita]

They don't even begin to get a circadian rhythm until 6 weeks. I wouldn't bother attempting a schedule until 8-10w.

[gibbinator]

It wasn't until 4 months that ds started falling into a pattern/schedule as far as naps go, which is the main keep you at home factor.
Before then, I would decide roughly when I wanted to go out and get myself ready, then I would feed DS (usually he'd fall asleep) then pop him in the car/stroller and go out. Then plan to be back within 3 hours for the next feeding, or plan to go somewhere where nursing was convenient.

[BaliHai]

L is two months old and our "schedule" is really baby-led - the only consistent thing we've done pretty much since the beginning is try and establish daytime vs. nighttime. I dress her in regular clothes every morning, keep it bright and fairly noisy all day, and then put her in a sleeper at night and lower the tv, close the blinds, have only one lamp on, etc.

Our ped recommended we didn't really take her out much until her two month shots because of how bad cold and flu season is this year, so we tried to abide by that, though we did go out a few times. Anyway, since we were home so much, we were able to see her developing her own patterns, but it's really only been within the last couple of weeks that we've picked up a semi-routine. She's ready for bed around 7-8 (earlier on bath nights, which are still only twice a week until she starts daycare), so we change her, feed her, then I take her into our bedroom and rock her until she's sleepy, put her in the RnP, and that's that until she wakes for her next bottle. She gets up for the day between 7 and 9 (really depends on how long she's gone between bottles since that's still not consistent), eats, usually falls back to sleep for a while, wakes to eat again, and then I try to keep her up so we can loosely follow the EASY method. Some days it works, some days it doesn't; we're really just hanging in there until she's older/better able to self-soothe and we can try harder for an actual routine. I don't stress about it though, since I know, in two weeks when she starts daycare, everything is going to change again.

[loskadoodle]

We didn't have a day time schedule until about 3 months. I just made sure to feed him right before we left to go anywhere then again in the car before we came home. We always did a bedtime routine though. His actual bedtime changed as he got older bit we always tried to do bath, feed, bed.

[Deleted]

DS was a very scheduled little man from the begining. He was fairly easy to follow a EASY schedule from week 3 & then a 2-3-4 from week 5. He was formula fed though so I know that makes a difference. I was always flexible with his needs & tried to follow his cues, but he's always been a little more rigid than your average baby.

[Deleted]

DS was a very scheduled little man from the begining. He was fairly easy to follow a EASY schedule from week 3 & then a 2-3-4 from week 5. He was formula fed though so I know that makes a difference. I was always flexible with his needs & tried to follow his cues, but he's always been a little more rigid than your average baby.

[Velar Fricative]

At 4.5 months, the only things we have scheduled with DD is:

1) Bedtime (plus the routine leading up to it)
2) Weekday morning wakeups
3) Bottles at daycare (but she kinda just fell into a schedule herself with that)

For #1, that didn't fall into it's current schedule until around 9 weeks, and the latter two started at 3 months. At 5 weeks, it was anything goes and I would have driven myself nuts trying to create a schedule with her.

Now, she nurses on demand and is a shitty napper, so we just try to put her down for a nap whenever we see she's tired. Same with daycare but they have a bit more success with naps although her nap hours are random there too.

[arch01]

we just rolled with it for the first 6 weeks-but i HAD to get out of the house. DS, even at that little, was so much more chill outside of our house than inside. he's still that way now at 25m. usually i'd feed him and then plan on about 1-1.5hrs out of the house, enough to get something accomplished and then come back to feed again (feeding was complicated-BF, pump, supplement).

at 6w i started a nighttime routine-i had to get things under control with a bedtime and routine since i was going back to work at 8w.

we didn't do any sort of nap routine til DS was 5m-then we went with the 2-3-4 routine.

[purplecow0206]

Feb 16, 2014 22:46:41 GMT -5 @barefootbarista said:

Throw BabyWise out the window. Follow the other posters instructions.

It can work for some people (my SIL has used it for her kids), but the idea of a set schedule that young seems like a bad one. We've taken DD out from really young, but you have to remember they will be short trips and/or you will be feeding her out and you may have a meltdown.

Sent from my VS870 4G using proboards

[cricketwife]

Feb 16, 2014 22:22:09 GMT -5 lolo said:

I would focus less on a schedule and more on developing a routine based on his cues.

I'm not sure I understand the difference between a schedule and a routine.  Sorry to sound so dumb.  I'll blame it on sleep deprivation!

[cricketwife]

Feb 16, 2014 22:23:32 GMT -5 piaffe said:

DS is a month old today and we've had a pretty set schedule for couple of weeks now. We typically try and feed his last bottle between 9-10pm then it's up to him when he wakes at night for his feedings but normally we are around 2-3 then 6-7. So that starts our day around 9-10 then I do every three hours during the day to establish day night versus night time. I try and keep him awake after his noon bottle with reading, tummy time, or walking around talking to him bout things. He normally will nap at least an hour before every feeding sometimes more sometimes less just depends on the day.

Hope this helps.

On phone please forgive.

 This is what I want to do, but my issue with the 3 hour cycle during the day is he often starts SCREAMING for food way before the 3 hours -- as much as 2 hours before the 3 hours.  If it's just 30 minutes, I can hold him off, but I can't have him crying for hours when he's hungry. 

[cricketwife]

Feb 16, 2014 23:53:10 GMT -5 salliekate said:

Around 8-10 weeks, we found some sort of natural rhythm. Based on what time they started the day, I could predict what times they'd want to eat (they were formula-fed if that makes a difference), what times they'd want to nap, etc. It's really frustrating to feel like this tiny person is totally ruling your day and your life, but he is. I think you just have to look for the routine that will naturally arise. Pay attention to his cues and go from there. I really liked Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It promotes the idea that sleep begets sleep which was so true in our case. It saved my life.

As for outings, I agree with some of the PPs that you should start small and go out prepared with an exit strategy. Take the baby to the coffee shop. If that goes well, run by the pharmacy. Or whatever. Doing a little at a time will get you more used to it and remember that it's not the end of the world if he cries in the grocery store. Trust me. I've pushed a buggy of 3 screaming toddlers out of the store. Sometimes it just happens.

I love this!

[Velar Fricative]

Feb 17, 2014 9:05:43 GMT -5 cricketwife said:

Feb 16, 2014 22:23:32 GMT -5 piaffe said:

DS is a month old today and we've had a pretty set schedule for couple of weeks now. We typically try and feed his last bottle between 9-10pm then it's up to him when he wakes at night for his feedings but normally we are around 2-3 then 6-7. So that starts our day around 9-10 then I do every three hours during the day to establish day night versus night time. I try and keep him awake after his noon bottle with reading, tummy time, or walking around talking to him bout things. He normally will nap at least an hour before every feeding sometimes more sometimes less just depends on the day.

Hope this helps.

On phone please forgive.

 This is what I want to do, but my issue with the 3 hour cycle during the day is he often starts SCREAMING for food way before the 3 hours -- as much as 2 hours before the 3 hours.  If it's just 30 minutes, I can hold him off, but I can't have him crying for hours when he's hungry. 

This is why you need to stop reading Babywise. At 5 weeks (and even later!), you need to feed him when he's hungry, plain and simple. Trust me, I wish my 4.5-month-old could stick to a nice 3-hour schedule with her eating (and unless she takes a miracle nap, she rarely goes more than 2 hours between feedings during the day), but that's just not her schedule and I don't want to force her into a schedule that makes her scream for food for an hour every time.

[h]

I don't understand the reasoning behind making a hungry newborn scream for 30 minutes rather than just feeding him then. I would be frustrated if I was really hungry and someone made me wait until an arbitrary time to have a snack, and I am an adult. I vote burn Babywise and feed the baby when he wants.

FWIW, none of my kids went three hours between feedings for months. I suspect making them wait that long would have made them much fussier babies.

[h]

I don't understand the reasoning behind making a hungry newborn scream for 30 minutes rather than just feeding him then. I would be frustrated if I was really hungry and someone made me wait until an arbitrary time to have a snack, and I am an adult. I vote burn Babywise and feed the baby when he wants.

FWIW, none of my kids went three hours between feedings for months. I suspect making them wait that long would have made them much fussier babies.

[piaffe]

If DS wakes before three hours and is showing signs of hunger I feed him even though I'd like to stick to three hours. Not everyone who follows baby wise is as strict as some but it's nice to have some sort of routine/schedule going on. Like last njght he woke up at less than three hours and I fed him. But like today if he's napping I won't let him go longer than 3 hours before I wake him up to feed him.

On phone