Post by cricketwife on Feb 17, 2014 12:38:53 GMT -5
Okay, as I said in the OP, we're incapable of following Babywise and so it's not working for us. I also said that I can't just let my baby scream if he's hungry. Thus, my question about how and when other people get their babies on schedules.
Okay, as I said in the OP, we're incapable of following Babywise and so it's not working for us. I also said that I can't just let my baby scream if he's hungry. Thus, my question about how and when other people get their babies on schedules.
I think the short answer is watch his cues and wait. Some babies don't get into a more predictable routine until 4-5 months old. Every baby is just so different.
If lack of routine is frustrating you because you can't get out, just start getting out more. I know it's easier said than done, but seriously, pack a diaper, wipes, and a blanket. Got to Target for a bit. If doesn't go well, so what?
As hard as I tried DD would NOT go on a schedule and finally I figured it didn't matter. She was going to bed at a consistent time and sleeping through the night so I just followed her lead during the day. Finally when she went back to daycare after having the summer off they were able to get her on a schedule, but that wasn't until she was about 8 months old.
DS is 4 months an definitely not on a schedule. He has a pretty set bedtime, and needs to be up around a certain time to get out of the house on weekday mornings, but I'm still waiting for something even kind of resembling a schedule to happen. He still eats every 2 hours during the day, too. BUT we're out and about with him frequently, as long as it's not around/after bedtime. He naps pretty well in the car seat (actually, he probably naps better in the car seat than anywhere else), and it's nice to not be chained to the house around nap times. My advice: get out with him! It was a lot worse than I imagined, and I was still nervous the first few times...now I want to take him everywhere with me. He's good company
Post by DarcyLongfellow on Feb 17, 2014 14:18:32 GMT -5
I understand feeling frustrated -- the newborn days are hard and can be isolating. I also understand reading a book that tells you the secret to babies is one particular thing, and then your baby won't follow that thing, so you're desperate to know when your baby will fit into that mold.
Baby Wise doesn't have to be evil, I know people who have used it successfully, but in general it's not great advice (and was written initially by a preacher without medical input), which is why you're getting the responses you're getting.
I think the honest answer here is that a 4 week old is too young for any sort of schedule. Many babies don't get on a schedule for a long, long time. My 8 month old has only had a set nap and bed schedule for about a month.
Now it is possible to get a baby on a schedule earlier. And doing so because it will make your life easier and make you happier is FINE. I think you'd need to wait until at least 8 or 12 weeks. But there's no harm in trying earlier -- see how it goes. Decide 10 am or whatever is nap time, and see if he'll sleep then. If not, try again the next day.
And I have to echo others -- I know you said you failed at baby wise because you couldn't do the three hour failing schedule. But you shouldn't see that as a failure -- baby wise is very unrealistic in that regard. Feed your baby when he's hungry -- every time. I promise it won't hinder his ability to be on a schedule once he's ready.
Finally, don't let the lack of a schedule keep you hostage in your own home. My DD1 was a colicky mess as an infant. She also nursed every 2 hours, and it took her an hour to eat. I still left the house. I'd have everything all ready to go, then I'd start nursing her. I'd tell a friend -- "I'll be leaving in an hour. " Then I'd get where I was going and almost immediately have to nurse her. But I was out of my house and getting much needed adult company. Grocery and Target trips had to be an hour long (including drive) and sometimes ended in a screaming baby. And that's okay. You'll find people are incredibly forgiving of newborns crying and fussing. Way more forgiving than they are of toddlers having meltdowns!!!
Hang in there -- you'll get there! You're in the trenches now, but it gets lots, lots better!
Throw BabyWise out the window. Follow the other posters instructions.
I agree. Side note - two friends AND my chiro have suggested me reading it since DS didn't STTN at 7 weeks. (Or at almost 6 months now). Eff that nonsense.
Throw BabyWise out the window. Follow the other posters instructions.
I agree. Side note - two friends AND my chiro have suggested me reading it since DS didn't STTN at 7 weeks. (Or at almost 6 months now). Eff that nonsense.
My older daughter didn't STTN until 18 months, and I nursed her at every night time wake up for even longer. I get perverse pleasure out of telling people that when they try to push baby wise on me :-)
Basically, our schedule is try and have her last bottle of the day between 9 and 10. And even that doesn't happen, as evidenced that we felt the need to wake her at 11 last night for her last bottle. I think the schedule will happen when it happens. It was really, really hard to accept that, and I still struggle with that concept now, but it's gotten better.