Were you bullied?

[rikki]

Growing up I had bright red hair and was extremely gangly.  I was constantly teased.  It probably didn't help that I was pretty nerdy and the teacher's pet. 

The worst was in middle school.  The boys started to snap my bra and ask why I was even wearing one and they took to calling me RP, which stood for red pubes.  They asked me constantly if I had my period and made fun of me when I wouldn't answer.  Mean girls took me on as their pet project and gave me an extremely unfortunate makeover, which looking back I realize was probably meant to make me look worse.

I grew up in a rural area and it is even more strange because the people who were making fun of me were farmers, not really the football stars or cheerleaders.

In high school I blossomed and was no longer so strange looking.  I started to get attention from boys in a different way, which I think made me a little slutty because I wanted so badly to be liked and to feel attractive.  

Anyway, I wonder if the level of teasing that happened to me would be considered bullying today.  There was absolutely no talk of bullying when I was in school and there were no consequences.  It was almost like it was expected.  I am so glad that there is more education about this today, especially with a whole new factor of online bullying. 

Honestly, I feel bad saying this, but the bullies are all still in small-town WI and haven't and probably won't ever see a tenth of the things I have (more because they don't want to).  This kind of makes me happy.

[chikastuff]

Yep. Pretty consistently from first grade through college.

[HoneySpider]

Yes, 8th grade was probably the worst year but I got it through most of HS too.

[ssmjlm]

Yep being fat made school difficult.

[spunkarella]

Rikki I'm so sorry you had to deal with that.

Middle school was a very tough time for me. I was skinny, had crazy frizzy hair, and wore a lot of hand me downs that didn't fit. Also a teacher's pet and nerdy/withdrawn. I was picked on, but a few other kids had it worse than me.

I came into my own in high school when I decided to stop trying to fit in. I made true friends and we were all nerds and outcasts together. Matching band was seriously the best thing to happen to me.

[Pom]

That makes me extremely sad to read, rikki. You went on to have a wonderful life and that is the best revenge.

Strangely, I was never bullied. I was overweight and always at the top of my class, so kind of surprising. One girl on the bus got nasty with me once. She bullied just about everyone but I threatened to punch her back and she left me alone from then on. I have always had this "don't fuck with me shield". I have never bullied anyone, but I make it clear I don't take shit from anyone.

[pinkdutchtulips]

grade 2 through my sophomore year of hs ...

[lasagnasshole]

Nope. But My thread from Monday had me feeling like Liz Lemon at her HS reunion. I think I'm nerdy and awkward, and apparently I'm running people off.

I tried the softer, nicer lasagna and failed spectacularly. Whoops.

LASAGNA OUT!

[aspentosh]

No, but I had fairly unique circumstances.

K-7th was Catholic school. Then the remainder of my middle school and high school was overseas where everyone was moving around every 1-3 years, so we understood the frustration. I didn't really see bullying at all until college.

[leshoequeen]

I'm sorry you went through that.

I was bullied throughout high school and even a bit after by one girl. When I was a freshman, my then boyfriend dumped me to date her. She was horrible to me. She would call me names in the hallway and threaten to beat me up. I was very afraid of her and after school, I was afraid to leave my house without someone that I thought could protect me - all the way up until I was probably 18 or 19. I never went anywhere I thought she would be. Unfortunately I went to dinner at a local restaurant with my parents at one point and to my horror she was working there. I heard her say "I don't know why that girl ever leaves her house." I also ran into her when I was waiting in line to get into a bar with my friends. She had a baby at this point and was screaming at me that I called her child ugly. I had never even seen her child and had certainly never called her ugly.

Looking back, I believe that her friends may have made up stories that I said different things about her to get her riled up. This girl was in many fights. I think she also made some poor choices and has had a more difficult life than I have. She has been arrested many times, has children with multiple men and is no longer with either of these men. She now attends my church. I honestly may switch churches due to this. I walked by her in a hallway once when I was there with my daughter and felt my heart start to pound. I don't want to feel uncomfortable at church.

[phunluvin82]

I was typically lucky enough to be, on the social hierarchy, one step above the 'nerdiest' kids who got it the worst.

I was a gangly, awkward, nerdy, goodie two shoes so I definitely got teased here and there, but was never really singled out in a systematic way like some of the other kids. I had a group of 4-5 really close friends and we mostly flew under the radar. Middle school was kind of the suck, but things got better as high school progressed. Growing into my looks and having a super popular younger sis 2 grades below probably both helped.

[rubytue]

4th-6th grade, this group of boys would hit me on the forehead everytime they passed me saying "pop fod." Needless to say, everyone else assumed I was not-to-be-friended. The ringleader had the ball to walk up to me at HS graduation and say pop fod. Ass!

I think there is no way that would be tolerated today.

Like @spunkerella, matching band was great. Add in theater and things were fine by high school (home life went to shit then).

[tacom]

Yes. I came home crying almost every day in 5th-6th grade. My parents finally let me switch schools for 7th grade and my life got so much better!

I was called fat, ugly, and teased for not having breasts. "You know you're fat when your boobs don't even stick out more than your stomach." One day a girl plucked a huge tick off her dog, put it in a plastic baggy, brought it to school, and put it in my hair when I was sitting at my desk working. That was the only time her parents were called in for a conference, but nothing happened as a result.

I was curious recently and checked up on everyone via facebook. The 4-5 girls who teased me all look like they have miserable lives now -- one of them got pregnant in like 8th grade and none of them have completed college or left our hometown. The general trend seems to be too many children with not enough support/resources. I can't help but feel a sense of karma there, but then I feel guilty for holding something against a 10-year-old. mostly I just don't think about it.

[sa]

No, I wasn't. I got the occasional "are you anorexic?" from a few idiots in HS, but generally I was very well liked in school and people were always pretty nice to me.

[Deleted]

My sibling was bullied badly for about 6 months. My mom enrolled us in karate lessons to build self-esteem and strength and it did wonders for both of us, and more importantly stopped the bullying. (No one actually faught anyone, but the ability to fight made us scarier to bully.)

I still remembeer bully's name and hate him big time. He was an asshole kid and I hope he lives in a van down by the river.

I know "kids will be kids," but I just do not understand bullying. It is so painful to the other person, why would anyone want to do that?!

[hippygirl]

Yes. 7th grade was the most miserable time of my schooling. I can still remember the two bitches that made it miserable. They would constantly tease me in gym class. Apparently I developed faster than they did. They teased me about stuffing my bra and even went so far to write it on my yearbook! Guess they never wanted me to never forget their fucking torment. I've looked the two whores up on Facebook a few years back and it makes me a tad bit that they haven't aged well.

[Deleted]

Yes, I was teased and I suppose bullied. It started when I moved to a new town in 2nd grade but I most clearly remember middle school too. I was often told I was fat and ugly and that I had no breasts. There was a group of boys in particular that said those things, but there were various other things said (asking if I was a lesbian, pretending to ask me out on a date - even though I knew they were pretending - just to tease me, etc)

I wouldn't say I blossomed in HS, but the teasing did stop because I wasn't around those kids as much and really got involved in other social activities (drama in particular) where I made a lot of friends and found my niche. I think I also stopped using the "ignore them" advice and started making comebacks to them, which I still suck at doing but did make me a less easy target. I feel like since mid-HS I've generally been well liked and well treated by most people around me, so I guess that was the end of that.

I think being teased as a kid has made me a more compassionate person and makes it hard for me to sit by and watch others be mistreated (which is why it's hard for me not to insert myself into a pile on here and defend the person being attacked). I think it has also had a negative effect on my self esteem and my faith that I'm lovable enough for a good person to want to spend their life with me. I can't blame my bad things in my life on how I was treated 20 years ago but I do often reflect on the fact that it's probably where things started to go downhill for me.

On another note, the boy who I remember being the meanest to me in middle school died a few years ago. I think that's a strange karma in a way, though I would never hope that to happen to anyone of course (and I certainly hope he grew up and wasn't a bad person when he died anyway).

[genet313]

Worst bullying nickname ever (for me): this boy called me stuffed shells throughout 7th and 8th grade.  this is probably b/c i had big boobs even at that age, but still.  mortfying at the time, especially in middle school, with the glasses, and the boobs, and the braces, and those horrible grunge styles.  omg.  my BFF from that age calls them the "man years."    but still.  wtf you asshole.  FYI, i've since facebooked him and he has not aged well. that made me feel better.  

[Deleted]

Absolutely. I had really nerdy interests, a weird sense of humor, and had no idea whatsover how to do hair/makeup/nails/etc. And I was talkative, so it isn't like I was hiding any of this. Excellent bully fodder.

(Note: all of these things are still true about me, but I think they work better among adults than they do with kids)

[winnied]

A bit but I always compare my experience to my brother's. He was constantly bullied. When I was bullied it was because I was chubby or because my brother was all whole assortment of shitty things to say about someone. On the flipside, I was somewhat beastly for a little girl and could defend myself and did.

Back to my brother, it was his whole academic career and so few administrators or educators gave a shit. It was infuriating. His experience made me and my whole family so angry for years. Even thinking about it brings me to tears and makes me question the world we live in.

[halfpint]

A boy in 6th grade was particularly mean to me. The only specific thing I remember is him saying, "Shut up, you're ugly!" He must have done some other fairly rude, hurtful things that year, because that alone doesn't seem to line up with the level of hatred 11 year old me still feels toward 11 year old him.  Like I can still see his mean little black eyes and mocking, downturned mouth.  

I moved from Canada to the States in middle school, and had a pretty tough transition. I mean, I was Canadian, kind of chubby, wore glasses, I wasn't up on the fashionable trends in Iowa (ha ha).  I got a lot of comments which now are a little funny - "Did you live in an igloo?"  "Did you ride a dogsled to school?"  I remember two girls being particularly mean, they kept asking if I wanted to go out with a popular football player.  I knew they were messing with me because I was new and nerdy.  I got some hassling from them in gym class, too.  They were tough, mean girls.  

My general memory of junior high is that it was awful until about mid-8th grade.  Mean kids.  By then, I had a pretty good group of friends and was middle-of-the-road popular.  Like wrestling cheerleader level of popular  By high school, I was kind of friends with everyone, from the grunge kids to the drama crowd to the cheerleaders.

[krisandgrace]

I was a dyslexic tomboy with bright red hair so yes.

[les]

No, thankfully. I was shy and awkward, but was never the target of cruelty.

I am so sorry that some of you experienced bullying. I remember witnessing classmates being ostracized and/or ridiculed and it seemed so mean, unfair, and agonizing for them. I wish I had the courage to stand up for them, but I was much too shy and afraid.

[thatgirl2478]

I was bullied a little bit, but nothing horrible. Most of it was in 3rd grade when I started going to the local public school (I lived in town, but went to a private school for K-2). It was just one girl who stole stuff from me, called me names and threatened to hit me once. It stopped when I called her out on it - she was trying to beat up one of my friends and I got in the middle of it - I didn't PHYSICALLY hit her but whatever it was I said was enough to get her off my back & my friends back. The next year she just ignored us. To this day I can't even tell you what it was I said.

grade school, Junior high and High school were kind of meh - I had my group of friends and stuff I did, but I was never at the top of the heap or the bottom of the heap. Usually I just kind of stuck it out around the upper middle and stayed under the radar.

[Deleted]

I was teased, borderline tormented, by a childhood friend's older sibling. This post is very fitting, as I found out she passed away over the weekend and I am really saddened by the whole thing.

[SJ]

No.

I was certainly teased a bit, but nothing along the lines of these stories.

Two instances in particular stand out from early/mid grade school that still make me sad to think about, but in the grand scheme of things it was really really mild.

I was fortunate enough to have a wonderful solid group of girlfriends from 4th grade until today. They are like my sisters and having each other made it much easier not to care what other kids thought or said. We were fairly popular, not ever near "the top" of any sort of social hierarchy, but certainly well-liked enough to avoid the brunt of most "mean kid" behavior. But really, our saving grace was having each other.

[Deleted]

I remember 4th grade being pretty rough for me. It was weird - these girls had been my good friends in 3rd grade, and were my good friends again in 5th grade, and in 4th grade they were still my only friends but man they were mean to me. They spent whole lunch periods just teasing on me. I would cry every day when I got home. I'm not sure if it was bullying but it was definitely some pretty hardcore teasing.

Looking back I don't know why I didn't switch lunch tables or find different friends.

[nonsenseabound]

yep, I got teased. 7th grade was a bad year. But by the time I hit high school I was tough skinned and smarter than the kids who were teasing me. It also helped that I was quick witted and able to put people in their place. I also didn't let the bullies pick on the other kids because I was always able to think on my feet. I remain having a very low tolerance for being mean just to be mean. If either of my kids bully someone else, they will be grounded for quite some time.

[holly116]

I wouldn't say I was bullied, but I went through an awkward time where I didn't have any close friends at school. We moved when I was in elementary school so my best friend was at my original school and I was really close with my cousin at yet another school. Then we went to church in another district and my dance school wasn't near our new home either. So I had lots of friends and busy weekends, but not at school. It was a lonely couple of years of trying to fit in with kids that were overly concerned with wearing Abercrombie and Express when I wasn't, and I felt completely inadequate and awkward most of the time. I'm not shy or introverted but I barely spoke at school.

We moved between my sophomore and junior year to the area where most of my friends lived - both from church and dance, and life was a million times better. No more sitting alone at lunch. I thought I had it bad but in retrospect, it was almost entirely adolescent self absorption.

[Deleted]

So sorry to hear that....kids can be so cruel in school!

Yes, I was also picked on in elementry school through high school. To this day, I still hate most of my classmates, and if I ever see them the stuck up ones I usually ignore them or pretend I don't see them. It was such a relief when college came around and this nit-picking stopped.

I'm glad I won't be having kids because I'd probably kick the kids ass who was picking on my child...things aren't like they used to be and I wouldn't be able to deal