I broke down in tears last night after the kids went to bed. We got our "homework" assignment from food group and I have no idea when I could even do it. They want us to basically have a mini-food group at home every day with 7 different foods, and doing the bubbles and washing the face, etc.
I'm up at 5. Get the kids up at 6:30, leave for the day at 7:15, get home at 5, feed them, bath them, play for a tiny bit, put the baby to bed at 6:30, get Natalie settled down with books, etc at 7 and she goes to bed around 7:30. When do I have time to do anything!?!?!?
I'm fucking drowning at work and I'm drowning at home. I've had it. And now I get to sit in a fucking snowstorm tonight on my way home.
Sorry to vent. I'm just wiped the fuck out.
I really just want to come kidnap you and take you to a deserted island so we can get drunk and just not be responsible for anything for a few days.
I don't know. I've tried to be chipper for her when she walks by and it is so uncomfortable for me. One day when I did that she said- WOW! YOU'RE ACTUALLY HAPPY TODAY!!!
I'm not a miserable person. I AM a happy person. I am a morning person. I'm just not a "GOOD MORNING!!!!" person.
I've gotten comments like this all of my life. "Smile!" "Having fun yet?" "You look tired."
ETA: I said hi to a different coworker yesterday morning as she passed my office and she backed up and asked what was wrong and I said "nothing" and she said- oh, are you just moody today? Are you sick?
No, I just said hi. You walked by my office and said nothing. I said hi to be nice.
There is something I'm doing wrong. But I'm just going deeper and deeper into this hole.
It sounds like the issue is not you being an introvert, but more that it seems like you are not really engaging your co-workers in a positive way.
If someone is so surprised by you actually saying Hi to them that think something is wrong, that's a pretty big indication that you haven't really made an effort to get to know people.
And yes, when you are the 'newbie' that is part of what you do.
Yup, my fault. It's been my 'fault' my whole life. I'm doing life wrong, I know.
My boss and I had a bit of a run in this morning. She walked by my office and said her daily "what's wrong", to which I responded using someone on here's advice. I said- I'm an introvert, and that is ok! The only thing wrong is that now I expect that every morning I get interrogated on what's wrong. Please, please stop asking-- again, I am an introvert, and I really don't feel bad about that.
She said: well, maybe you should think about changing.
ok.
I don't know the backstory at all so take with a grain of salt, but personality fit and culture fit count at work, so if your boss is expecting you to have a different disposition/attitude/demeanor, you should explore what the disconnect is and determine if this is the right environment for you or if you are able to change to meet her expectations (assuming her expectations are reasonable and legal, etc.)
I broke down in tears last night after the kids went to bed. We got our "homework" assignment from food group and I have no idea when I could even do it. They want us to basically have a mini-food group at home every day with 7 different foods, and doing the bubbles and washing the face, etc.
I'm up at 5. Get the kids up at 6:30, leave for the day at 7:15, get home at 5, feed them, bath them, play for a tiny bit, put the baby to bed at 6:30, get Natalie settled down with books, etc at 7 and she goes to bed around 7:30. When do I have time to do anything!?!?!?
I'm fucking drowning at work and I'm drowning at home. I've had it. And now I get to sit in a fucking snowstorm tonight on my way home.
Sorry to vent. I'm just wiped the fuck out.
Big fat giant hugs to you. If you want to get away and have coffee or something, let me know.
Post by chedominique on Feb 20, 2014 11:20:55 GMT -5
I thought my bird was finally adjusting to my H being OOT this week till he went off on me this morning. He didn't even care that I sung his morning song. *Sigh* My bird is so spoiled.
Also, the majority of the office is at a meeting today and there are only 3 of us here. It has been glorious.
I know you are an introvert. But what exactly is it that your boss wants, that you are not providing, that would ease this issue?
I don't know. I've tried to be chipper for her when she walks by and it is so uncomfortable for me. One day when I did that she said- WOW! YOU'RE ACTUALLY HAPPY TODAY!!!
I'm not a miserable person. I AM a happy person. I am a morning person. I'm just not a "GOOD MORNING!!!!" person.
I've gotten comments like this all of my life. "Smile!" "Having fun yet?" "You look tired."
ETA: I said hi to a different coworker yesterday morning as she passed my office and she backed up and asked what was wrong and I said "nothing" and she said- oh, are you just moody today? Are you sick?
No, I just said hi. You walked by my office and said nothing. I said hi to be nice.
There is something I'm doing wrong. But I'm just going deeper and deeper into this hole.
I understand that you are an introvert, my H is also an introvert, and it has hurt him from time to time on evaluations and things like that. But he has made an honest effort to be FRIENDLY to people at work. No, he doesn't want to start a conversation with them, and he doesn't really care about what so and so did over the weekend, but OTHER PEOPLE don't understand that. Especially people who are not introverts. So he has had to make an effort to say good morning to people, and to try to sound chipper in his responses. And yeah, he feels like it's fake sometimes, but he has received much better feed back and now is up for a big promotion. He isn't like hobnobbing with everyone at the water cooler or anything, but a quick friendly greeting or smile and asking about someone's day goes FAR in a work place setting.
The weather this week has been fantastic, but it has me thinking about spring. I'm not ready for spring. Tornados terrify me, I don't remember there being so many tornados when I was younger.
I don't understand. I'm doing my job and I'm doing it well. I'm shy. That has nothing to do with my professional performance.
I totally get being shy but you have to force yourself to be cordial to your coworkers and especially your boss. Smile, say hi, make stupid small talk with your coworkers even if it's just for 2 minutes a day will get people off your back and you won't feel so disliked in the office. The more often you do it, the easier it will become.
and donuts. bring food. that makes everyone like you better
The weather this week has been fantastic, but it has me thinking about spring. I'm not ready for spring. Tornados terrify me, I don't remember there being so many tornados when I was younger.
I posted about this the other day too. I have had anxiety this whole week thinking about tornados. I just want to take DD and sit in a storm shelter until September.
I have 2 bulging discs in my back. I've been in so much pain for a week and haven't been able to go to work. I have an ortho appointment tomorrow and I'm so scared I'm going go need surgery.
That sucks and I totally feel for you. Hopefully they can find a solution that can control the pain and you won't need surgery. There are lots of things that can be tried first and surgery should be a last resort. Where are the disks located? When I was 19, I had a fully-herniated disc and one bulging right above it, and this was in my lower back. The sciatic pain as a result of a pinched nerve was awful. Sometimes I could literally not walk, and I spent hours and hours just crying sometimes. We did try many treatments and medication combinations, but nothing worked. My foot was going numb and there was concern about permanent nerve damage, so I did end up having surgery. The only reason I tell you this is because, as a last resort thing - it is actually a Godsend. I know it is scary to think about having back surgery but it was actually not that bad...way easier than the pain I was having from the discs.
I had my tonsils out when was 17, that was WAY worse than back surgery!!! So in the event that you would need it - I promise it's not as bad as you fear :-)
I understand that you are an introvert, my H is also an introvert, and it has hurt him from time to time on evaluations and things like that. But he has made an honest effort to be FRIENDLY to people at work. No, he doesn't want to start a conversation with them, and he doesn't really care about what so and so did over the weekend, but OTHER PEOPLE don't understand that. Especially people who are not introverts. So he has had to make an effort to say good morning to people, and to try to sound chipper in his responses. And yeah, he feels like it's fake sometimes, but he has received much better feed back and now is up for a big promotion. He isn't like hobnobbing with everyone at the water cooler or anything, but a quick friendly greeting or smile and asking about someone's day goes FAR in a work place setting.
I'd consider myself a bit of an introvert and my new boss is the complete complete opposite. We had a horrible first few weeks of him being here - he even asked me if I was trying to make his job harder (lol). Sometimes he would just stand in front of my desk with this big grin on his face waiting for me to talk. Ugh, I would just stare at him and say HI, how are you?!?! We're now reached a good point, I make some small talk with him and he's toned down his chipper-ness with me a bit.
The weather this week has been fantastic, but it has me thinking about spring. I'm not ready for spring. Tornados terrify me, I don't remember there being so many tornados when I was younger.
I posted about this the other day too. I have had anxiety this whole week thinking about tornados. I just want to take DD and sit in a storm shelter until September.
Same here. I told H I wanted to convert our closet into a safe room, he thinks I'm paranoid.
We have been doing major construction for 8 months and I just found out that our kitchen (cabinets, appliances, countertops, island, etc.) will not be installed for another 3 weeks. That's 4 weeks past the original installation date and we are moving back in tomorrow (after 8 months out). I am trying verrrrrry hard to be zen about it. And I had it planned out so well. I started the cabinet process back in July 2013 and there is no reason that they should not have been ready on time. They had 7 months to make them.
DS had a pedi appointment yesterday. I don't know what it is about the pedi that makes me so defensive. She's happy with his verbal abilities and his mobility but concerned about his weight. He's been 98% and up across the board for his whole life. At 15 months, I guess it's supposed to taper off. She showed me the growth chart and the curve starts flattening out but his weight was still shooting up so she wants us to make some changes. The changes aren't unreasonable but dammit, I want you to tell me I'm a perfect mom and my kid is perfect.
Also we are almost done with season 3 of Sons of Anarchy and I would like to apply to be Jax Teller's old lady. Please tell me where to sign up.
What kind of changes do you have to make? I am worried that this is what is going to be happening to us in a couple of months.
We are switching to 2% milk and he needs to have breaks in between servings. He will scarf it all and then fuss for more food so I just give it to him. She said to wait a bit so he can process the food and realize he's full which makes sense. She said no treats and no juice but I dont give him that anyways (I gave juice for constipatin and a few cookies around Christmas but not regularly).
I know you are an introvert. But what exactly is it that your boss wants, that you are not providing, that would ease this issue?
I don't know. I've tried to be chipper for her when she walks by and it is so uncomfortable for me. One day when I did that she said- WOW! YOU'RE ACTUALLY HAPPY TODAY!!!
I'm not a miserable person. I AM a happy person. I am a morning person. I'm just not a "GOOD MORNING!!!!" person.
I've gotten comments like this all of my life. "Smile!" "Having fun yet?" "You look tired."
ETA: I said hi to a different coworker yesterday morning as she passed my office and she backed up and asked what was wrong and I said "nothing" and she said- oh, are you just moody today? Are you sick?
No, I just said hi. You walked by my office and said nothing. I said hi to be nice.
There is something I'm doing wrong. But I'm just going deeper and deeper into this hole.
((((southsam))))
When she breezes by and asks "What's wrong?" can you just say (in your regular tone, no fluff, no fakey smiles or tones) "Having a good day, thanks."
Just in your regular tone and look.
Because unless she is a complete dingbat, OVER TIME she should be able to grasp that "Oh! Southsam's regular tone is this instead of over-the-top and just-came-home-to-my-new-puppy excitement. Okay, got it."
Do you think she's capable of eventually taking it in that maybe everybody isn't all fireworks and glitter parades?
Honestly, just with a nice tone and your regular look and voice just give her your honest answer of "It's going fine, thanks," or whatnot.
I sure hope she gets it soon, though. What a dope to not understand you ARE okay, and being an introvert is okay. Why in the world would you need to change?
Post by firedancer49 on Feb 20, 2014 13:36:00 GMT -5
I just told my boss I was pregnant and I was shaking so bad. I really didn't know how he was going to react, and he was super excited. Weight lifted off my shoulders.
I totally get being shy but you have to force yourself to be cordial to your coworkers and especially your boss. Smile, say hi, make stupid small talk with your coworkers even if it's just for 2 minutes a day will get people off your back and you won't feel so disliked in the office. The more often you do it, the easier it will become.
and donuts. bring food. that makes everyone like you better
This, this, this. My husband is crazy introverted and needing to interact excessively is actually damaging to his job performance, and I am just super shy. Bring food. It's the fastest way to communicate "I like you, I like it here, even if I don't like to talk much". We're totally "millenialish" about jobs but when you are in a job that goes against the grain of your personality, it's helpful to find other ways to integrate. So every week or two, I know I'm going to see a charge for $15 someodd dollars from the grocery store and it's my H picking up a package of donuts and a couple bags of candy to bring in and then everyone pretty much leaves him alone because he's done his social duty LOL He also brings in his party size french press and makes coffee a lot at work. Are there things like that you can do?
And yeah, if it's this much of an issue for you, you need to find a different line of work. Office culture is going to require some level of forced social interaction. It's okay if that's not for you, but the job isn't going to change because of that.
The previous owners of our new dog told us that he sometimes has a mild limp in his back leg, but that they took him to the vet and the vet couldn't find anything wrong. Right. He limps like crazy and he puts zero pressure on his back leg. I'm starting to think the reason they wanted to give him up is because he has hip problems and didn't want to deal with the cost. He doesn't whimper in pain or anything, but he definitely has a weak left hip. I mean, whatever, we knew this could be a problem when we decided on this breed of dog, but be honest about it, you know?
Post by sparkythelawyer on Feb 20, 2014 15:52:15 GMT -5
I have to work with this lady a lot, and holy shit is she an office crabass. Pissy about fucking everything. We had to go to lunch today. She was grousing the entire time. I cannot wait to go home and drink.