Update on midwife appt

[centralsquare]

I heard back from the midwife via email; she was very receptive and said she was eager to hear any concerns I might have. We set up a time to talk on Saturday. She's also been very responsive about some other questions I had, which was encouraging.

I also had a talk with my good friend whose baby was delivered by this midwife. She had a few insightful things to say:

1. Apparently when we join the practice, we agree to allow student midwives to observe/participate in care. No one explained that to me up front, although it might have been in the several documents I received. My objection isn't to the student, but to the slow intervention, which I will tell the midwife tomorrow.

2. As to be expected, the majority of the midwives are pretty laid back (newsflash: I am not at all laid back, in terms of professionalism.) She recommended I check out two others who are "all business / more professional, rather than hippie-ish" b/c she thinks I'll gel better with them.

3. She was shocked about the nipple comments. Said it was way to early to worry about, and that the midwife had never expressed concerns about a nipple shield to her. In fact, was surprisingly proactive about giving her antibiotics early on when she had trouble nursing, suggested a nipple shield to her personally. Thought it was very odd from this midwife and didn't sound like her.

4. Lastly, the midwife has been out for over a month, supporting her terminally ill mother. Said she very much didn't sound like the woman she had worked with last year, and encouraged me to give her another chance -- and to switch after the 12-week, if I didn't like her.

Overall, I'm feeling more positive than I did on Wednesday. The conversation tomorrow and my 12-week appt will help me determine whether to stay or go. 

Thank you ladies for your encouragement and shared outrage

[centralsquare]

Yes, this practice has seven midwives, and you rotate during the course of your pregnancy so that you see each of them at least once before your due date. You have a "primary" that you see for the first few appointments, but it will depend on availability as to who actually delivers you. I could probably ask to change my primary, which I will if the next appointment doesnt' go well.

I trust my friend, though, so I'm willing to give this lady a chance. Truth is, I could have spoken up and asked the midwife to intervene sooner, so I need to make my preferences for earlier intervention known. I tend to have a weird "submit to authority / be overly polite" streak with this kind of stuff, so it's a good lesson learned for me as well. Honestly, it felt more uncomfortable as the day went on than it did in the actual exam. But there were too many things that bothered me a little to just let it go.

[centralsquare]

I spoke with her today for almost half an hour. She was fantastic. Very receptive, interested in my feedback. Apologetic that she hadn't stepped in earlier during the exam. She wasn't defensive at all, and reiterated how much she appreciated my reaching out to share concerns.

I feel much, much better after speaking with her.

[melsamoony]

I am glad you spoke up for yourself! If you don't advocate for your needs nobody will!

[ringstrue]

I have a question just out of curiosity more than anything. Did you choose to not go to a OB/GYN practice, specifically? I think I recall you saying something about coverage- and yes, if you are going there mostly because you need medical coverage I could easily see why they'd want you to be available for student training. But typically I see people choose midwives because they want that ... "personality", I guess, and are sort of avoiding OBs. But it seems like you'd do fine in a normal OB practice too.

[centralsquare]

Feb 23, 2014 13:52:33 GMT -5 ringstrue said:

I have a question just out of curiosity more than anything. Did you choose to not go to a OB/GYN practice, specifically? I think I recall you saying something about coverage- and yes, if you are going there mostly because you need medical coverage I could easily see why they'd want you to be available for student training. But typically I see people choose midwives because they want that ... "personality", I guess, and are sort of avoiding OBs. But it seems like you'd do fine in a normal OB practice too.

Good question. This is a midwifery practice that is associated with and located in a hospital. I love the idea of working with a midwife, planning on natural labor, birthing in water, and even a homebirth. But I'm too risk-averse to do that, on the slim chance that something went wrong and I couldn't quickly get to a hospital. I know that the risk of that is very low, but I prefer the security of being in a wing of a hospital, should I or my baby need immediate intervention.

If I were to go with an OB, I would likely do it at this hospital, simply because I understand the OBs have greatly deferred to the midwives, after working together for several years, and are much less likely to intervene in natural labor.

I generally do a lot of alternative practices, and I study movement/biomechanics, so the idea of traditional hospital delivery with a woman on her back -- not taking advantage of gravity, not squatting, not laboring as our bodies are meant to -- doesn't appeal to me at all.

Eta: this isn't at all about any kind of insurance coverage. Sorry, missed that when I originally read your question. There is nothing about my financial situation or arrangement with this practice that requires I have a certain percentage of care done by a student. I think I had said that, had I volunteered to be worked on by students in exchange for cheaper services, this would be more understandable. But that's not the case.

[centralsquare]

P.s. If you haven't seen it, Rikki Lake's documentary "The business of being born" is a must-watch before making decisions about your birth experience.

[theatre4life]

Glad you stood up for yourself, and had a good conversation with her! I hope the rest of your appointments go well, and are stress free for you!