Checking in with a LOOOOOONG birth story

[shelbyann]

Annika Josephine arrived on Friday night after a long, hard labor and a scary delivery. 

My water broke with a gush at 8PM on Wednesday night, as I was standing in the kitchen wiping the counters down. There was absolutely no doubt as to what it was - it was all over me. I'd been having contractions every 10-30 minutes apart since early that morning, and after the break they picked up quickly. Within an hour, they were coming 5-6 minutes apart.

We called our doula and decided to labor at home for a while. Over the next several hours, the contractions got steadily closer together - 6, then 5, then 4, then 3:30 apart. Our doula came over around 2 AM and we talked about what would happen next. The contractions were becoming more painful, but I was excited that we would probably have a baby by the afternoon! We planned to head out once I hit a steady rate of 3 minutes between contractions.

But then the opposite happened. They slowed down a bit, going back to 4-5 minute intervals, although they were getting more and more intense. Around 11 AM, we finally decided to just head over to my midwives' office (attached to the hospital) for a check to see what my progress was. It turned out that I was fully effaced (as in, "you literally have zero cervix left," the midwife said) and baby's head was right there, engaged, but I was only 3-4 CM. I was still having intense 4-5 min contractions, so it seemed like things would happen really quickly once I dilated a bit more. We decided to go for a walk in the nearby park to hopefully speed things up and then likely check in to the hospital.

Expect that the walk did the opposite of what it was supposed to do. I slowed down even more. We thought that maybe I'd make some progress back at home after a little rest, so home we headed. But there was no rest to be had. The contractions became more intense and again picked up to 4-5 minutes. I had also developed a bit of a headache (a concern with my BP history) so we headed to the hospital around 8PM. Between the headache and the growing intensity of the contractions I was pretty uncomfortable, so I was really hoping for some cervical progress so we could push this baby out and get on with life.

Unfortunately, I was still only 5CM. And I was getting tired. The midwife took one look and me and told me I needed some rest if I was going to deliver this baby. I got a bag of fluids and laid down and they were going to give me something to help me sleep, but I never needed it, as I pretty much passed out. The midwife said it was one of the most remarkable things she'd ever seen...I would awaken, grunt and groan and whine through each contraction (still 5 min apart), then pass right back out. I do remember getting up several times to pee during the night but mostly, somehow, I slept almost a full six hours while in active labor. I awoke the next morning, showered, and felt like a new woman.

At that point, my water had been broken for almost 36 hours, and although neither baby nor I were showing any signs of infection, we needed to make a game plan. I was still having the same damn contraction pattern which would have been great were I not ruptured, but we needed progress at this point. The midwife and I decided I'd give it one last shot before medical intervention, the old "college try" for a couple of hours: squats, ball bouncing, hall walking, nipple stim, the whole bag of tricks and see what happened. 

What happened was absolutely nothing except that I got a really good leg workout. I was still 5CM. I started pitocin at 11AM and after a brief delusional period where I thought I might skip the epidural....I got the epidural. The contractions had been intense for a while now and they weren't actually that much worse on the pit, but I was just SO TIRED of them. I could feel myself getting whiny. They did a great job with my epi and I could still feel my legs and all of the contractions (just less intensely) and even flip around to labor on all fours in the bed. I even managed to convince them to let me go without a fixed catheter after the one that they inserted bugged me (the nurse just emptied me every couple of hours, which was way less annoying than having it in all of the time).

The rest of the afternoon was pretty nice: we watched the olympics and read magazines and by 8PM that night, a full 48 hours after all of this started, I was finally fully dilated and ready to push! They switched off the epi and off we went. Pushing was...well, it felt good at first, both physically and emotionally. I finally felt like I was DOING SOMETHING to get this baby out! After a while, especially as the epi wore off, it did become pretty fucking painful. Pushing that baby out was definitely the hardest thing I've ever done. As her head started to come in to view, our doula brought over a mirror so I could see, which is not something I thought I wanted but it really helped motivate me to move her just a little more each time. After two and a half hours of pushing and 50+ hours of total labor, I watched in the mirror as our little girl came sliding out into my husband's (and midwife's) waiting hands. 

But she was fucking blue. And not moving.

What happened next was a blur, with my midwife yelling "TEAM" and immediately clamping the cord off. Within seconds there were about twenty people in the room, the lights were thrown on, doctors with tubes and machines and things that looked like tackle boxes of equipment. Our baby was on a table. I don't know what they were doing to her because I couldn't watch. My husband and I just clung to each others' hands and our doula told us to send her good thoughts, but I don't even know if I was doing that...I think I was just numb. Someone kept coming over to collect blood from the cord that was still dangling from me.

After a couple of minutes, the mood in the room changed noticeably. I remember our doula saying that she looked pink. I heard one of the medical techs say something that sounded like a joke and laughed, so I figured that had to be a good sign. The midwife came back over and told us that things were going to fine. Baby had come out "stunned" which just means in shock and not breathing. Her initial AGPAR score was 2 but after five minutes she was up to a 7 and after ten minutes, 8. 

I looked at my husband and said: "She is definitely an Annika." We'd been undecided on a name up to that point, having chosen a few finalists with slightly different (in our view) personalities attached to them. Annika was the troublemaker name, the feisty one.

We were allowed to hold her for a few minutes, but then they had to take her to the NICU to make sure everything was okay. While she were there, we later learned, they also ran a course of antibiotics because she had been in there so long after my water had broken, even though she showed no sign of infection in spite of everything else. We were told that as long as everything else looked good, we'd all go home together on Sunday.

Starting at 3AM that morning, we started a two day hell schedule of pumping colostrum and schlepping down the the NICU every three hours to feed her. I had no idea what I was doing with her at my boob, but between that and the tiny amounts that I pumped, she seemed to be getting something because her blood glucose levels stayed stable and everyone seemed happy with that. Unfortunately, in spite of my efforts, late Saturday night she developed a bit of jaundice and they told us she'd have to be under the lights and stay at least another day or two. I nearly lost it at that point...I was fucking TRYING to feed my baby but the NICU didn't have any LCs available because it was the weekend and the one that stopped by our room in the postpartum ward left after about three minutes after showing me how to hook up the pump. When I asked one NICU nurse for help, she rolled her eyes at me and said I should just give her formula. It was infuriating.

Finally, we lucked out with a great NICU nurse on Sunday morning who sat for over an hour with me and showed me just what was what with respect to latching, sucking, etc. I finally got Annika to latch on with the help of a nipple shield, and it looked like my milk was starting to come in! I was getting small amounts of actual liquid in addition to the colostrum. We did end up supplementing with a little formula at each feeding (breast first, then pumped milk, then formula to top her off) which was obviously not my first choice but if it was what we needed to do to get her peeing/pooping and out of the damn hospital, then fine. Checking out of the hospital on Sunday night and going home without her was incredibly hard, but I felt good about the plan we had in place. Early Monday morning, they checked her bilirubin levels again and she was back to normal - hooray!

That brings us to today. She has one more bili check this afternoon and assuming she passes, we get to bring her home. Latching/eating is still a challenge (it is very difficult to get her to stay interested in sucking on anything, be it a bottle or a boob) but we'll figure it out. She seems to like pumped milk from a bottle the best, and I'm getting a couple of ounces of milk when I pump at this point, so worst case scenario we'll just feed her that way until we can meet with an LC or something who can help us figure it out.

Physically, recovery has been pretty easy. I had two tears that needed stitched and quite a bit of "road rash" or whatever, so I'm definitely sore down there but otherwise I feel pretty much back to normal. Emotionally, it's been another story, and at a couple of points this weekend I was in a pretty low place, but I am feeling much better today. As a side note, my fucking phone decided to die the night my water broke, so I have been kind of cut off from the world for a few days. Which maybe wasn't such a bad thing anyway. And I'm getting a new iPhone this week, so that's fun!

If you made it through all of that, you get a cookie. I'd join you, but I'm going to have a fucking glass of wine instead, once we get everyone home and settled tonight. And of course, a few pictures and stats.

Annika Josephine, 2/21/14, 10:33 PM, 6lb 5oz, 18.5 inches.





Thanks for all of your well-wishes and support! I'm sure I will be hanging around here for a little while, I'm too invested in seeing all of the babies that are on deck right now.

[picksthemusic]

Holy crap! That was definitely a story. You'll need to remind her a lot when she's older. LOL But CONGRATS, mama!! You did an amazing job and your precious girl is gorgeous!! You are seriously a trooper. Great job and yay, you're a mama!!

[centralsquare]

Oh my gosh! What an incredible experience. I'm sorry it wasn't more smooth, but I'm so glad both she and you are healthy and happy. And she's beautiful!

Congratulations! Love her name.

[spankswife]

Wow, you are amazing!! She is so beautiful! I am so happy for you guys!

[natablue]

Wow, what an ordeal you went through! You are so strong to labor that long and get that baby out.

Sounds like she is making improvements, and hopefully will get to go home soon! She is beautiful, and I love her name

[pixiedust]

My goodness, what a story! Congrats on all that you've done, and I hope you get to bring her home today.

[D2M]

Oh my goodness, my heart dropped when I read the part about her coming out blue. Holy crap! What a ride. So glad to hear she's doing much, much better and I hope you get to take her home today. Thank you for sharing your story. You wrote it so vividly; I feel like I was right there. Welcome to the world, Baby Annika J (love her name).

[rbp]

OMG Shelby, what an emotional story. I am so, so glad that everyone is safe and healthy. Sorry you had to go through all of that.  (hug)

Congrats on Annika! She is beautiful! Have a glass of wine for me, ok? 

[runblondie26]

She's absolutely beautiful. What a dramatic entrance, I'm so happy to hear everyone is well. Good work mom (and dad)!

[Stingyshark]

Geez. My eyes about popped out of my head while I was reading that!
How scary! ....and WTMOTHERUFUCKINGFUCK to the NICU nurse..what a bitchface. as if BF isn't hard enough.


What a sweet sweet tiny, little girl! She is gorgeous!

Congrats Shelby & Mr. Shelby!

[blushing]

You have me in tears. What a story. I am so glad that you have your baby and that everything is going to be ok.

[osulori]

I'm so glad she's okay! Annika is beautiful, congratulations mama

[melsamoony]

WOW!! That seems like an experience to say the least. Good job Mama, keep up the good work.

You baby is gorgeous. Congratulations.

[MrsDarcy]

Congrats on your beautiful girl!

[winemaker]

She is precious. I really appreciate all these birth stories, they are so helpful.

[heygrey]

wow, what an intense birth story.

she is absolutely beautiful! congratulations on your little girl!

[hokiegirl82]

Congratulations on your new little girl, and kudos to you on going through such an ordeal. I am literally holding back tears here at my work desk reading your story -you, baby and H are all rock stars!

[jene]

I'm glad that she is ok! Congratulations!

[pinotgrig]

Shelby you are such a trooper! I'm seriously in awe of you - it sounds like you handled the entire (frustrating) process SO well. I had tears in my eyes while reading your post.

I'm sorry your experience was so long and stressful but am glad your both doing ok now. She's absolutely beautiful and I love her name. Congrats to you guys!

[theatre4life]

Congratulations! I'm sorry to hear your experience was so stressful, but you handled it amazingly! I hope this morning's check goes well and that you guys are on your way home soon!

[narockshard]

Wow, what a story! You did an amazing job and I'm so glad to hear everything is going to be ok. And she's beautiful, she looks like a doll!

[robyn]

Wow, that's a hell of a story! You are seriously a rock star to go through all of that. Your little girl is absolutely beautiful. I hope she's home with you guys ASAP.

[mannah]

Congratulations!! Thanks for all the detail about the birth experience, it sounds like you had an amazing team (except for the one note-able shitty icu nurse) and you did an exceptional job. So glad she's doing well and I hope you get to bring her home tonight.

[Yankees21]

Holy crap, what a story!! That is infuriating about the nurse who rolled her eyes and said to just give formula, but I'm glad you got a good LC to help out. Hopefully your beautiful baby will be able to go home today! Congratulations!

[adcobe]

Wow what a story! Glad she is here safely and she is so pretty!

[Deleted]

Omg what a roller coaster! So glad you and baby are doing well and congrats, she is beautiful.

[kermit]

I'm glad it all turned out okay, I can't imagine how scary that would be. She's a sweetheart!

[thom]

That is an epic story. I'm so glad you are both ok. Sending love from Minnesota. Congratulations!

[aqualuv]

Congratulations! I'm so sorry to hear about your birth story and Annika being in the NICU. I hope you get to bring her home today. You are amazing to have gone through all of that.

I really appreciate you sharing your story.

[humpforfree]

Congratulations! It sounds like my baby's hospital stay following his birth was similar- he want blue but had fluid in his lungs making him breathe badly & he earned himself a nicu stay. We did the every 3 hours hike to the nicu to breast feed for 5 minutes, bottle the pumped milk/colostrum & then formula. It sounds like we (eventually) had more hospital breastfeeding support than you though- ugh I am sorry. I have a baby nursing right now, so all hope isn't lost! It takes awhile for you & baby to get it.

Good luck and make sure to ask lots of questions!! Hopefully Annika can come home today! (Omg scariest thing ever!)