I am so fed up with people's random comments. I told a good friend that I may have to have a c section and that I was bummed. She said she thinks my doctors give everyone a c section since she knows 7 ppl who all had them. Turns out at least half of the 7 didn't go to my practice they just gave birth at the same hospital.
Then today I told my aunt and she said she hoped my doctors weren't c section happy. I understand the concern but how are any of those comments helpful. I truly don't believe my doctors are or I wouldn't be going with them. They also aren't pushing for a c section just telling me its a higher possibility than nothing.
Ugh, tomorrow I have another appt with an ultrasound so hopefully I'll have more answers then. I'm so ready to get this baby out!
My mom sent me an article today about c-section rates - something about they're higher because doctors don't let women labor long enough. I just skimmed it. My take is that I don't want one but if that's what it takes to get the baby out safely then so be it. I'm not going to NOT have one because my mom's podunk local newspaper said not to.
Most people don't realize that when you bring up something like this, you are not looking for a discussion or any answers. You're just sharing that you are bummed about something and their only response should be "I'm sorry. I'm here if you need me."
You should certainly be able to bring up your concerns to people you trust, but unfortunately not many know how to respond in an emphatic way.
My mom sent me an article today about c-section rates - something about they're higher because doctors don't let women labor long enough. I just skimmed it. My take is that I don't want one but if that's what it takes to get the baby out safely then so be it. I'm not going to NOT have one because my mom's podunk local newspaper said not to.
It's actually not just a podunk newspaper talking about it; new guidelines regarding c-sections were just released. Not to undermine the medical necessity of them in some cases.
My mom sent me an article today about c-section rates - something about they're higher because doctors don't let women labor long enough. I just skimmed it. My take is that I don't want one but if that's what it takes to get the baby out safely then so be it. I'm not going to NOT have one because my mom's podunk local newspaper said not to.
It's actually not just a podunk newspaper talking about it; new guidelines regarding c-sections were just released. Not to undermine the medical necessity of them in some cases.
This. It has been covered in a lot of news sources lately, so I guess that makes the casual reader an "expert." I know this is hard, but I would try not to take it any more personally than if someone who had no idea where Ukraine was on a map a month ago suddenly expressed a strong opinion on all the recent protests.
This is what I was going to say. You should only really share your birth plans with people you know will support you no matter what the outcome. I understand you're stressed about it, but honestly, there's nothing you can do when it really comes down to it. Trust me, I know from experience. I went in the hospital expecting a natural vaginal birth. I got an emergency c/s because my daughter was not moving, had late decels, and a flat tracing. There was no way they were going to let me labor on my own and see what happens... my baby needed out. Sometimes having a c/s is out of your control, but to get baby here safely (for you and them), it may be your only option.
I completely understand you wanting to share your fears and concerns with those close to you, but if their responses just stress you out even more and are not supportive, just stop telling those people.
And, not sure if you've already considered it, but have you thought about hiring a doula? It sounds like this would be a great option for you.
MNH2013, although the second part could have been better, I take it as a huge compliment if someone says I don't look pregnant from behind. It means you're looking awesome!
I'm so over people asking how much weight I've gained/what I'm eating etc. So irritating.
Not sure why it is suddenly everyone's business what I do or don't eat.
YES!
You wouldn't ask a non-pregnant woman those questions.
Just today a coworker asked how I was feeling. BECAUSE I'M PREGNANT. If I wasn't I'm sure it wouldn't have been a hello.
I personally think it's super sweet and thoughtful when people ask how I'm feeling...I wouldn't think twice about asking this of a pregnant woman either!
I'm so over people asking how much weight I've gained/what I'm eating etc. So irritating.
Not sure why it is suddenly everyone's business what I do or don't eat.
I am having this issue right now. I'm so sick of it! I was just out to dinner last night and ordered crab stuffed mushrooms for an appetizer and H was like "can you eat that?"
Go the fuck away! Stop asking if I can eat every single thing I order!
You know, what makes me really upset, because I've been blowing off everyone who has been in my business, is that if I DO happen to mc this one, too, that it'll be "what did you do? what did you eat?". You know?
Like if I go out for sushi on my birthday and then the hear beat stops, it'll because I had some salmon.
Yeah I'm realizing already I need to be more choosy about what I say. People here are apparently very touchy about not having a super healthy diet every second of your pg here.
This is what I was going to say. You should only really share your birth plans with people you know will support you no matter what the outcome. I understand you're stressed about it, but honestly, there's nothing you can do when it really comes down to it. Trust me, I know from experience. I went in the hospital expecting a natural vaginal birth. I got an emergency c/s because my daughter was not moving, had late decels, and a flat tracing. There was no way they were going to let me labor on my own and see what happens... my baby needed out. Sometimes having a c/s is out of your control, but to get baby here safely (for you and them), it may be your only option.
I completely understand you wanting to share your fears and concerns with those close to you, but if their responses just stress you out even more and are not supportive, just stop telling those people.
And, not sure if you've already considered it, but have you thought about hiring a doula? It sounds like this would be a great option for you.
Lol I'm not sharing with the whole world my plans for birth. The only people I have told are my very best friend who just recently gave birth at another hospital and she made the first comment. The second was a very close family member. Both were still supportive in saying that no matter what happens a healthy baby is the ultimate goal but the other comments were unnecessary.
My standard answer for these sorts of ridiculous comments is to put on my sweetest smile combined with dagger eyes and say 'I will give your suggestion all DUE consideration.' I am also quite comfortable firmly telling someone that their comment or question is inappropriate, but I get that not everyone is comfortable with this level of confrontation.
The only comments that I am getting at the moment that are annoying me are from my mom. Everytime I say anything about this pregnancy, from how I feel to what I am craving she says because its a girl. She is so convinced that I am pregnant with a girl. I am so over it. I don't care, I just want a healthy baby. And she is annoyed with me and told me I am selfish because we won't find out the sex before the baby is born. Again, I don't care. Its my baby.
We have told hardly anyone else so I am not getting any other comments yet. Not even my IL's know yet.
I think it's nice when people ask how you are feeling. Because generally pregnant people feel different/much worse than non pregnant people so it's a reasonable question.
I do always feel like I have to give a breezy "fine" as my answer though, as I don't want to horrify random people with tales of hemorrhoids and crotch pressure and other such lovely things.
I'm not sure random people really want to know the real answer to the question of how a pregnant person is feeling ha