Well, H has me kinda bummed out

[Odonata]

Right now my appointments are at the fertility place until they discharge me to my regular OB.  Their "monitoring"  hours are 7-9 am and it's first come first served.  I usually get there around 6:30 to make sure I'm first b/c my first class of the day is 7:30.

MH works in a school 45 away with the same start time and so he leaves the house at 6:30.  He has not been able to come to any of the early ultrasounds.  I texted him yesterday that I saw the heartbeat and he responded "That's awesome!  I'm disappointed I am not there to see it."  

I keep getting asked if H was with me and I say no. I know it's common for the father to be there, too, but with the work schedule, he can't be there.  In his school, they have a policy of either taking the whole day off or nothing.  He cannot have someone cover his first class or so.  If he were to come with me, he would have to take the full day and he just can't do that now b/c he missed so many days due to snow (his school also never closed ONCE during all the snow storms so he used personal days b/c he couldn't drive in.)  

I thought maybe he could come with me when I go to my OB since they have afternoon office hours but he coaches LAX starting in a few weeks until the end of May.  That is every day after school until 6 at the earliest if there is no game.  Plus, he's an hour away from home.  So that means he can't make any of the other ones as well.  Then he starts work over the summer in Philly and usually leaves early and doesn't get home until late.  Maybe he can take a day off from there.

I guess he'll just have to meet his little bean when I pop it out?  I'm kinda bummed I see all this without him.  

[melsamoony]

((Hugs)) work sucks sometimes. I am sorry!!!

[ngdgtco]

I'm sorry, that schedule does sound tricky. Maybe he can make it for the anatomy scan at 20 weeks, or you really want one together, you can schedule an elective ultrasound one time that works with his schedule. I was surprised to see that around here, I could get a 2D one for $50. Also, ask the tech at the next one if she can take a recording of the baby moving that you can then record on your phone. She did that for us at the 12 week (didn't know that was an option beforehand), and it is really cool to see the video. It might be nice for him to at least see it that way.

[Yankees21]

I'm sorry I think that PPs suggestion of going to an elective place if that's an option for you is a really good one.

[speckledfrog]

Sometimes that's just the way things go.

[D2M]

Feb 25, 2014 9:40:03 GMT -5 speckledfrog said:

Sometimes that's just the way things go.

Yeah, this is where I am. My H works crazy hours and he has only been able to come to one appointment with me -- the first meeting with my obgyn. I went to all the RE monitoring appointments by myself and also to both anatomy scans. If anyone judges, eff em. My H -- and I suspect yours, too -- will be there when it really counts, even if "there," isn't in a physical sense.

[picksthemusic]

I haven't read everyone else's responses, but have you considered doing an elective ultrasound that you schedule for when he can make it? I think that may be your best option for your DH to see baby before they're born. LOL

[Odonata]

I never thought about elective scans. That's a great idea! I was thinking that later on we can do an elective one that he can schedule in advance. Maybe when we find out the gender (which he is REALLY looking forward to) we can do it then.

And yeah, I do feel kinda judged that I'm at these alone. The medical assistants ask if H is there when they take me to the room and I feel bad, but I know they aren't judging me. It just reminds me that these are things fathers are usually there for.

At least I know he WANTS to be there! It could be worse - he could not give a damn!

[changedname]

My DH could never make my IF appointments or my OB ones. He took the day off work to come to the A/S because we thought we would find out the sex of the baby.

For the other ultrasounds, the tech (at the RE clinic) let me video the ultrasound with my phone so he could hear the heartbeat and see the images.

[rbp]

That's really crappy of people to make you feel bad because of your H's work schedule.

I actually had no idea that partners went to OB appointments until someone mentioned it here. Luckily my H has been able to make it to a couple of my appointments. But it seems completely reasonable that it wouldn't work out based on someone's work schedule. I'm sorry you're dealing with this, and I agree that an elective u/s might be a really good option.