Work WWYD - Boss problems

[kdubs923]

OK, so I've been back to work 6 weeks now. Back when I was pregnant & discussing maternity leave/my return, I mentioned to my boss that I'd have to leave 1/2 hr early Monday-Thursday in order to pick up before daycare closes. My H's schedule rotates & is unpredictable with overtime, so I do 99.99% of drop off/pick up. We have half day Fridays at work and DS stays with my aunt that day, so it's only M-TH that it's an issue.

At the time, we came up with two options:
1. Adjust my pay to 38 hours and work 38 hours each week
2. Get a laptop and make up the two hours at home, either 1/2 hr each evening or 2 hrs on the weekend

At the time, she said going through HR to reduce my hours would be a pain, so she agreed to get me a laptop. This isn't the norm within my department and my boss rarely bothers to bring hers home to work.

So I get a laptop and have been doing my 2 hours from home on the weekend. Word has it, my boss has mentioned to my coworkers that she has no proof that I'm working from home. She also commented on the amount of time I pump to a coworker, as well as saying I won't be a motivated worker because I recently had a baby and will be in 'mommy mode'. (FTR - she has 3 kids and is always out for them, so this feels a little pot/kettle!)

I had my review last week. I didn't want to tell her I heard that she was talking about me, but instead addressed it as, 'I understand some people in the department are concerned about whether I work 40 hrs/week, between leaving early M-Th and pumping 3x a day. How can we resolve this so it's fair to everyone?'

She said I shouldn't worry about what anyone in the department thinks and she says its fine if I work from home for those hours. We also revisted reducing my hours. To be honest, I don't mind working a bit from home, but if my boss isn't going to believe I'm working, I rather take a little pay cut to make sure everything is 'fair'. I rather that, than have people believe I'm getting special treatment or to have my boss talk behind my back about my work.

But if I cut my hours, doesn't this just reaffirm my boss' view that I am now in 'mommy mode' and have no motivation? I do realize she sucks and probably won't ever be happy.

Do I just KOKO, get paid 40 hrs/work 40 flexible hours? Or adjust my pay & work 38 hours and have no guilt about what my boss may be saying or thinking about me?  

[dbsk8dance]

How do you know she's been saying those things?

[pugz]

I would not cut hours

[kdubs923]

Mar 3, 2014 14:33:33 GMT -5 dbsk8dance said:

How do you know she's been saying those things?

She mentioned it to a few coworkers. I don't know how many people she's spoken to, but two coworkers approached me separately. To one coworker, she said about me being in 'mommy mode and once you have kids, then work motivation goes out the window' and the other said she commented when I was returning from the pumping room that, 'Oh, kdubs923 spends so much time pumping, I never spent that much time when I was nursing my kids'

Pretty much, my boss is very unprofessional. I wish she'd address her problems to me directly, instead of to coworkers and say everything is OK to my face.

[AmyRI]

I would start keeping a log of when you work at home and what you do, and if you're really worried about it, send it to your boss in an email before you log off on the weekend.

I'm just as skeptical about your coworkers, honestly. It seems equally probable that they're the ones jealous of pumping time and leaving early and making up time on weekends and they're "blaming" your boss. Your boss's actions don't seem to say she has a problem with it at all (assuming your review went fine and she's not unhappy with your productivity).

[mpc]

Definitely stick with your 40 hours. When I work from home I'm required to send an email summary each day of what I accomplished. So it's not bad practice. It'd be a pain if it was only for 1/2 hour each day, but if you're doing a 2 hr chunk on the weekends that's not as bad.

[Velar Fricative]

Stick with what you're doing. You have to pretend you didn't hear that stuff from co-workers so you have to go by what your boss says anyway, and your boss is telling *you* that the arrangement is okay.

I'd also document for yourself that your boss said this arrangement is okay in case any issues arise later on.

[djc315]

Did she bring it up at your review? If not, I would KOKO. I would definitely not cut hours.

[anna7602]

Your co-workers sound immature.

Look, I've dealt with my fair share of "why does she get to leave early enough to pick up her daughter," but the fact is that I've actually been more productive at home in the hours after DD goes to sleep than I was during the day in an office with eight million meetings scheduled and co-workers interrupting because they needed an answer to something "right now." All the matters (or should) is whether you are keeping up with your workload and producing the results you need to.

I can't really relate to the 38 hours v. 40 thing because my work is usually based on a project outcome, but I can't imagine that 2 hours is enough to get so stressed out that you would willingly take a pay cut. KOKO, I say.

[ssmjlm]

I would just start keeping a log and record of tasks while you're working from home. Even if your boss said nothing is wrong, honestly, my policy for everything JIC is to document, document, document. Even if that means, ccing my boss, ccing myself, written notes, etc.

When we telework, they can see us logged in via IM, but we are required to give our boss a quick summary of bullets of what we did that day.

[vanillacourage]

I would (in a professional way) confront my boss about what they're saying to coworkers.  I would approach her saying that I heard she said X, it concerned me because of Y, and what can I do to alleviate her concerns. 

Don't cut your hours. 

[Deleted]

KOKO. If it didn't come up in your review, then leave it alone.

I see a couple of things happening here: 1) your boss is commenting about your pumping, not necessarily criticizing. 2) Your boss is projectin her experience with "mommy mode" onto you; don't let her get to you like that. 3) you have coworkers who are ether genuinely concerned about your success (they warned you of a potential problem) or gossips.

[ECB]

I whole-heartedly "second" the idea of tracking what you do at home and documenting it. And actually- I do think that documentation should be emailed to her weekly. All under the guise of wanting to be transparent. BCC yourself to your home email so that you have everything at home.

But I do also think that you need to be careful about how her comments are being taken. You know the game "telephone"? Well, her saying something to your CW then they come to you... something might be lost. you never know.

Still protect yourself as best you can. But also realize that this IS gossip.

ETA: Oh, but I will say that I think you brought it up in a great way.  You actually kind of called her out on it w/o calling her out.  Now she knows that YOU know that "someone" is talking about you. 

[kdubs923]

Mar 3, 2014 15:23:25 GMT -5 littlespitfire said:

Mar 3, 2014 15:02:28 GMT -5 Velar Fricative said:

Stick with what you're doing. You have to pretend you didn't hear that stuff from co-workers so you have to go by what your boss says anyway, and your boss is telling *you* that the arrangement is okay.

I'd also document for yourself that your boss said this arrangement is okay in case any issues arise later on.

This.  I'll also say that I think it's entirely possible that your boss is indeed badmouthing you behind your back and that your coworkers are trying to make you aware of it.  In my last job there was a woman just like your boss, who would shittalk me re: mommy stuff right to my coworkers.  We were all really close, and they told me what she said.   

This is my situation. I'm close enough with my coworkers that I believe them a million times more than I ever would my boss. I've caught her in one too many lies over the years to ever really trust her fully.

I guess ultimately, my problem isn't about these 2 hours a week. I just have a shitty boss. But I already knew that, damn.

I have applied to two new positions within the company, which would get me away from my boss. Fingers crossed! I'd just hate for her bad mouthing to make it to the hiring managers in the other departments.

[kdubs923]

I agree with everyone that mentioned - I just need to really document everything that I do from home. Even if she never asks me to prove anything, I need to cover my ass.

[Deleted]

Mar 3, 2014 15:18:34 GMT -5 ssmjlm said:

I would just start keeping a log and record of tasks while you're working from home. Even if your boss said nothing is wrong, honestly, my policy for everything JIC is to document, document, document. Even if that means, ccing my boss, ccing myself, written notes, etc.

When we telework, they can see us logged in via IM, but we are required to give our boss a quick summary of bullets of what we did that day.

I agree.

If I am out of the office for whatever reason and reply to an email, I CC my boss so he can see the time stamp. If I take a call (sometimes when I am out, I forward calls to my cell), I send an email to whomever I spoke to with something like, "It was nice speaking with you today/this morning/this afternoon. As discussed, (reiterate the scenario here). If you have any questions, please let me know. Thank you!" and also CC my boss.

[lolo]

I'm a former manager and would be annoyed to receive a summary of what x employee did with her wfh day or to be cc'ed for no reason all the time.

Yes, cc the boss if you otherwise would. Yes, email her when wfh if needed. Yes, be sure to say 'yes, when I spoke to client x on Saturday...' Yes document.

But don't annoy her with useless and unsolicited emails and summaries. Just get your shit done.

[MadamePresident]

Whenever I worked from home, I would always make sure I was on IM and made a point of sending an e-mail to my boss for something necessary. I'd even do that on days I worked late, just so my boss would be aware I stayed late. Do you coworkers know you log in on the weekends? I would probably talk that up just a bit, so people don't think your aren't working your hours.

In my old office we had someone, who always seemed to leave early after coming in at a regular time and taking a long lunch. People did talk about her, especially since others were putting in extra time.

[thebreakfastclub]

I am sure all of the co-workers are envious of your ability to leave early 4 days a week, even if you are making up work later. I know I would be. So I actually think you have a great arrangement, vs taking an automatic pay cut.

I think if the boss truly had an issue, the review would be the perfect place to bring it up and document her concerns. Since that didn't happen, I would assume everything was OK and move on from there. I would just be able to prove what I did at home, even if I never showed it to anyone.

My current boss is smart and funny, but she talks shit on every single one of us, I'm convinced. I just keep her at arm's length when I can.

[katiecj]

I would stick to what you are doing now.

As for the proving that you are working, I tend to always send emails when I work from home. That way it is time stamped.

I also keep track of what I do on a spreadsheet. If my boss were ever to question, I'd be able to say that I spent two hours on time sheets etc...