leaving DS's lovey in the crib

[CloudBee]

Lately when I go to pick him up out of his crib in the AM he grabs his lovey and tries to take it when him. I say something along the lines of "monkey stays in your crib, let's put him back". We drop the lovey into the crib and carry on with our day.

For the past week, though, I keep finding DS in his room with his arm in his crib trying to pull out his lovey. Sometimes he's successful, and other times not. Frustration ensues.

I don't want to hide the darn thing, because that's just another step in our daily routine. I also never want the lovey to become something he can carry around the house. We'll take it on vacation with us and pull it out for our flight around bedtime. But I always want it associated solely with naps/bedtime, and nothing else.

Part of me regrets getting one, but he snuggles with it.  I would hate being in a crib without anything to pull over me or hug.  I think we started leaving it in his crib around 6 months?  I used to let him hold it while he ate, but now I only do that during his bedtime bottle.

What are the lovey rules at your house?

[mrssandro]

DD has a favorite blanket that she carries with her some days. She just loves the tag and likes to rub it on her nose. NBD. I am laid back about this sorta thing.

[bearbaby]

We introduced DS's lovey at 9-mos, and let it stay in the crib. But that's where it lives...he's tried to grab it on his way out of the crib a handful of times, but I haven't let him take it. He did try to "hide" it in his sleeper once, but he was spectacularly unsuccessful. I'm in the "it's only for bedtime" camp.

Mom: 1 DS: 1,543

[redheadk]

Dd has chosen a lovey fairly recently. I let her take it out if the crib but not the house. She normally snuggles it while drinking her milk then will leave it wherever. She doesn't carry it around all day by any means. She is a grump when she wakes up so anything that helps works for me.

We have 4 and just grab whichever is closest so nbd.

[Deleted]

We have the same rules you do. The lovey stays in his crib. I don't want him to carry a lovey everywhere. It will get dirty, I don't want to have to constantly keep track of it, and I don't want him to need it for EVERYTHING (like eating). We have a strict NO TOYS at the table rule.

I will allow him to carry it around his room if we're playing in there, but if he tries to leave the room with it I say "lovey stays in the crib." DS chose a lovey (a stuffed cat or dog) when he was 18ish months old, so he understands what I tell him. I tell him the dog (our real dog) will chew the lovey, so it needs to stay in the crib to stay safe. The real dog has chewed some of DS's other toys, so he totally gets that concept.

I would just KOKO. As he gets older he'll understand the lovey rule better. You could try the "put lovey in the crib to keep it safe" angle. DS totally understands that.

[wonderfezz]

I think loveys are good. Kane doesn't really have one, he likes his pacifier and blanket, which he's had from day one. But he doesn't need them outside of sleeping.

My niece is 5 and was super attached to a blanket, it made her feel secure, and we didn't fight it. She still has to sleep with it, but doesn't need it like she used to. I think this is one of those 'choose your battle' type things.

[ssmjlm]

Eh as long as it's in her room, I don't really care about the lovey. After bath time when we're drying her off, she will usually crawl over the crib and grab it through the bars too. Sometimes it's easier to let her have it as PJs and sleepsack have become a battle if she's not distracted.

But we drop it back into the crib when we leave the room and she so far doesn't seem to care.

[djc315]

We have one (well, 4) of the A&A security blankets. He's allowed to carry them around the house.

Just curious, what is your reasoning behind not wanting him to carry it around the house?

[CloudBee]

I was crazy and bought 5 Angel Dear monkeys early on. I also bught 4 or 5 frog Wubbanubs in case he got attached to that - but he didn't.

When he has a runny nose his lovey gets nasty. Part of the reason I don't let it leave the crib even for a little while in the AM when he's waking up is because the dog would snatch it. Our dog has claimed so many of DS's stuffed animals. So I want to keep the one item that DS rubs on his face away from the dirty dog.

[Deleted]

I would not take the lovey away altogether or hide it. I am delighted DS finally chose one. He plays with it for a good 20-30 minutes in his crib in the mornings. I can pee, DH can make coffee, it's glorious. He also holds it while we do the bedtime routine (put him in sleep sack, read books, sing songs). It's so sweet, and makes him so happy.

[CloudBee]

Mar 4, 2014 10:04:15 GMT -5 djc315 said:

We have one (well, 4) of the A&A security blankets. He's allowed to carry them around the house.

Just curious, what is your reasoning behind not wanting him to carry it around the house?

The dog would try and steal it. He grabs socks and stuffed animals and hides them on or under his bed. It's kind of gross.

I also never want to fight about leaving the house with it, or losing it. (Even though we have multiple, lol.)

I'm sure when he's older and able to get in/out of a regular bed on his own he'll take it with him to watch Saturday morning cartoons on the couch if he's still attached to the thing. That's fine, because I can get him into the habit of returning it to his bed when he goes into his room to get dressed.

I don't want him to leave the house with it when we're running errands, etc. Not a fan of being so attached that you can't leave the house without a lovey. I see that creating many battles if we can't find it, or are going somewhere that it might get dirty.

[Deleted]

Mar 4, 2014 10:04:53 GMT -5 CloudBee said:

When he has a runny nose his lovey gets nasty. Part of the reason I don't let it leave the crib even for a little while in the AM when he's waking up is because the dog would snatch it. Our dog has claimed so many of DS's stuffed animals. So I want to keep the one item that DS rubs on his face away from the dirty dog.

I don't let the pets in DS's room for exactly this reason. I don't want pet hair all over his stuff, and the dog would steal his toys. I would leave the door closed as he's waking up, I think you'll enjoy the extra time while he plays with his lovey in the crib. Then put the lovey in the crib and close the door again.

[dulcemariamar]

We leave it in the crib because we could never find a backup so it is like gold to us in the house. We tell LO that her lovey has to sleep in the crib during the day because it takes care of her at night. She is only 14 months so she doesnt understand that but maybe she will buy that excuse later on in life.

[ssmjlm]

Mar 4, 2014 10:04:53 GMT -5 CloudBee said:

I was crazy and bought 5 Angel Dear monkeys early on. I also bught 4 or 5 frog Wubbanubs in case he got attached to that - but he didn't.

When he has a runny nose his lovey gets nasty. Part of the reason I don't let it leave the crib even for a little while in the AM when he's waking up is because the dog would snatch it. Our dog has claimed so many of DS's stuffed animals. So I want to keep the one item that DS rubs on his face away from the dirty dog.

I just rotate between her 2 loveys and wash the dirty one when I wash her crib sheet.

Thankfully our dog has more trouble with E going in her toy basket than vice versa.

[Deleted]

Mar 4, 2014 10:08:15 GMT -5 CloudBee said:

I don't want him to leave the house with it when we're running errands, etc. Not a fan of being so attached that you can't leave the house without a lovey. I see that creating many battles if we can't find it, or are going somewhere that it might get dirty.

[/p][/quote]
I didn't want this either. Stuffed dog or blanket in the grocery store? At the park? At friends' houses? No. The lovey stays in his room.

[CloudBee]

For those of you who have duplicates, is your kiddo aware? I keep our duplicates in his pajama drawer, so he sees them every day when we open the drawer and he picks out his pjs for the night.

So I don't think he'll ever be attached to a specific one. I mean, how could he? He may just become attached to the idea of having one, even if they all do look the same.

[CloudBee]

Mar 4, 2014 10:08:33 GMT -5 @supergreen said:

Mar 4, 2014 10:04:53 GMT -5 CloudBee said:

I think you'll enjoy the extra time while he plays with his lovey in the crib.

Oh I do.  We watch him on the monitor and he whips it around in circles and chats with it if he wakes up in a particularly good mood. 

[CloudBee]

Mar 4, 2014 10:10:20 GMT -5 ssmjlm said:

Mar 4, 2014 10:04:53 GMT -5 CloudBee said:

Thankfully our dog has more trouble with E going in her toy basket than vice versa.

I've given up on this. I still stand strong when DS approaches the dog's bowls, but if he grabs the dog's grubby toys, I'm so over chasing him and taking them back. Mom of the year!

[bbonanza]

My 6 yr old and 4 yr old bring their teddies (lovies) to school in their backpacks, lol.

We have duplicates of them and will switch them out to wash every once in a while. I think they know, DD1 has mentioned 2 teddies before, but it doesn't come up often.

[dbsk8dance]

DS's wasn't just for sleep it was also for comfort when he got scared, hurt, etc. he loves that thing, but now at almost five he uses it to sleep and that's pretty much it. He doesn't NEED it any more.

Personally, I think you are over concerned about your kid bring over attached. Most kids will go through a "Linus" phase, but it's just that. A phase.

[scribellesam]

Mine doesn't care too much about his lovey, so we leave it in the crib. Sometimes in the evening when we're playing in the nursery, he'll ask for it and we play with it a little. I prefer it this way, but I'd probably let him take it elsewhere if he insisted.

[chickens987]

Mar 4, 2014 10:02:08 GMT -5 @supergreen said:

I will allow him to carry it around his room if we're playing in there, but if he tries to leave the room with it I say "lovey stays in the crib."

Yep. If she grabs it while we are in her room, NBD. But she has to put it away before we leave her room.

[ijack]

We have no rules.

[UnderProtest]

The loveys stay in the cribs. Occasionally my daughter will want it outside of the crib, so our rule is that she goes into the crib to play with it. That usually takes care of it, although this is the child that loves going to bed. Both of my kids have recently attached to this small bunny that says "some bunny loves you" and I made the mistake of letting her take it downstairs. It took one bedtime realizing it was down four flights of stairs that I instituted the bed only rule with the bunny.

She does realize when I have switched out loveys as ours are different colors and animals, but doesn't seem to mind too much. She does prefer the pink ones to the white ones. My son couldn't care less, he just chews on the feet and ears.

[cep1976]

Mar 4, 2014 10:08:15 GMT -5 CloudBee said:

I don't want him to leave the house with it when we're running errands, etc. Not a fan of being so attached that you can't leave the house without a lovey. I see that creating many battles if we can't find it, or are going somewhere that it might get dirty.

I think there is a large area between only staying in the crib and not being able to leave the house without it. Transitional objects are comforting to kids in stressful situations, and we bring ours along for doctor's appointments and large gatherings where there are lots of unfamiliar people, as she's quite reserved.

well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/03/11/a-firm-grasp-on-comfort/

[katiecj]

Mar 4, 2014 10:18:38 GMT -5 dbsk8dance said:

DS's wasn't just for sleep it was also for comfort when he got scared, hurt, etc. he loves that thing, but now at almost five he uses it to sleep and that's pretty much it. He doesn't NEED it any more.

Personally, I think you are over concerned about your kid bring over attached. Most kids will go through a "Linus" phase, but it's just that. A phase.

This is the same for my DS. His loves his bear, he plays with it, hugs it, it's involved in just about every game he plays.
We carted it around a lot. No big deal really. I just throw it in the wash at least weekly.
He's almost five and still loves his bear, this morning he called bear his best friend.
I thought it was cute. I can't imagine restricting his lovey to his bed, it would of caused a ton of tantrums.

[katiecj]

Mar 4, 2014 10:10:45 GMT -5 CloudBee said:

For those of you who have duplicates, is your kiddo aware? I keep our duplicates in his pajama drawer, so he sees them every day when we open the drawer and he picks out his pjs for the night.

So I don't think he'll ever be attached to a specific one. I mean, how could he? He may just become attached to the idea of having one, even if they all do look the same.

We have a duplicate that DS keeps at his dad house. I think he knows they aren't the same. He's not as attached to that one for some reason.

[CloudBee]

Mar 4, 2014 10:46:37 GMT -5 cep1976 said:

Mar 4, 2014 10:08:15 GMT -5 CloudBee said:

I don't want him to leave the house with it when we're running errands, etc. Not a fan of being so attached that you can't leave the house without a lovey. I see that creating many battles if we can't find it, or are going somewhere that it might get dirty.

I think there is a large area between only staying in the crib and not being able to leave the house without it. Transitional objects are comforting to kids in stressful situations, and we bring ours along for doctor's appointments and large gatherings where there are lots of unfamiliar people, as she's quite reserved.

well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/03/11/a-firm-grasp-on-comfort/

Great article, thanks. I may bring DS's to his next pedi appointment now, and let him play with it if he tries to remove it from his crib.

[rex]

I bring L's lovey with her everywhere.

Rules about loveys are weird to me.

If you have multiples, just wash it if the dog takes it or try to keep the dog away.

[shellbear09]

I introduced one about 7 months and she has one at home and the same one at dc. At home it is only in the crib for the most part. I don't care if she wants to bring it out but she really only shows interest when going to sleep. I have brought it out for a meltdown a couple times. I guess I don't have rules and will give it whenever she wants. I just don't mind her having something that is soothing. It's small so its not like she will be dragging it along.