Well, that's just a tacky ass text ...

[NitaX]

Sooooooooo, this lady I know is getting married in a month. Homegirl is now in the throes of wedding planning and has sticker shock. Her FB posts have been all about "maybe I should have eloped" or "why don't people RSVP" etc. etc.

I just got a text from her saying that she's "reaching out to her understanding people" to see who would mind being a "standby" for her wedding. I RSVP'd. This is the tackiest bullshit I've ever seen.

My Aries has been fully unleashed, and I just told my husband "Standby? Fuck that. We won't go at all. She'll be lucky if I get her ass a fucking gift."

Yes. I fully recognize that not getting a gift is vindictive. But my Aries says - that's life in the streets Boo. 

Who the fuck does this shit?

[Deleted]

WTF? That's horrible. I absolutely wouldn't give her a gift.

[SallyJ]

WTF. Yeah, RSVP no and don't send a gift. Or send a card and say the gift is on standby.

[pixy0stix]

So you were on the A list, and now you've been shuffled to the B or C list?

Uhhhhh... just say you wish her well and to delete your number.

[NitaX]

Mar 4, 2014 12:26:54 GMT -5 SallyJ said:

WTF. Yeah, RSVP no and don't send a gift. Or send a card and say the gift is on standby.

I RSVP'd to her already. Like as in before her deadline. I actually left my RSVP card at home and was like OMG! I need to call her because it may not get to her in time. So, I called. Now, you wanna ask to put me on standby? Bitch, you done lost your got.dayum.mind.

[EloiseWeenie]

Is there going to be a bouncer holding a guest list, with the door roped off?

[FloFTW]

Done. Shut it down.

[redwino]

I definitely wouldn't go. I probably wouldn't send a gift either if I hadn't already bought one.

[copzpartdeux]

Stand by it is and damned if I didn't make other plans in conjunction in case the stand by fell through.

You and D are going out to dinner at that precise time for the anniversary of the first day you held hands. Enjoy

[iammalcolmx]

Mar 4, 2014 12:25:10 GMT -5 NitaX said:

I just got a text from her saying that she's "reaching out to her understanding people" to see who would mind being a "standby" for her wedding. I RSVP'd. This is the tackiest bullshit I've ever seen.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?

[AJL]

Mar 4, 2014 12:25:10 GMT -5 NitaX said:

Sooooooooo, this lady I know is getting married in a month. Homegirl is now in the throes of wedding planning and has sticker shock. Her FB posts have been all about "maybe I should have eloped" or "why don't people RSVP" etc. etc.

I just got a text from her saying that she's "reaching out to her understanding people" to see who would mind being a "standby" for her wedding. I RSVP'd. This is the tackiest bullshit I've ever seen.

Oh no, no, no, no, no.  That will not do. Not at all. 

I used to be a wedding planner (two year stint in bride hell!) and the brides I had who tried to pull that shit got a very stern lecture and major shade thrown their way.

[andrealynn]

Yeah, I'd be like "No worries, just take us off the list. Enjoy the day, good luck in your marriage."

[eclaires]

No no no no.

I'd be like, "bitch I'm busy. Forever. Which means I also won't have time to buy your ass a gift. TACKY ASS HO."

[NitaX]

Mar 4, 2014 12:32:11 GMT -5 redwino said:

I definitely wouldn't go. I probably wouldn't send a gift either if I hadn't already bought one.

Typically for older, established couples I always give cash as a gift. I know you're trying to recover from the cost. Plus, you have a house, so you don't need the traditional towels, place settings, etc. 

So, yeah, I'm a low down heifer and I will get you the cheapest household item on your registry. My H BETTER NOT write a check to these folks. He's all trying to be nice. Bump that.

I called him to vent and he's like OH WOW. Yeah, I haven't seen you this mad since ummm - the beginning of the first Obama administration. 

[Deleted]

Wait. You were already invited, and you already RSVP'd that you were coming. And now she wants to uninvite you because ... what? Too many people have said yes?

That's straight up the tackiest thing I've seen. And I've been on the nest for 10 years, so, yeah.

[lasagnasshole]

THE.

FUCK.

[downtoearth]

Oh, I'm Team NitaX!

Totally appropriate to text her back like you did.  Nope, you don't get "standby" friends IRL.

[Deleted]

I would take it as not being invited anymore and thus, not sending a gift isn't a punishment. It's what happens when people aren't invited.

Bitch boo BYE!

[iammalcolmx]

Mar 4, 2014 12:37:00 GMT -5 eclaires said:

No no no no.

I'd be like, "bitch I'm busy. Forever. Which means I also won't have time to buy your ass a gift. TACKY ASS HO."

The sound that came out of my mouth upon reading this. LOL!!

[andrealynn]

Is it terrible of me to hope that this chick later asks why Nita didn't get her a gift? Because I can totally see that happening.

[Deleted]

[iammalcolmx]

NitaX I absolutely forbid you to send this bitch a damn gift.

[jmc]

My guess is that most of her "understanding people" are having the same WTF reaction as you are (and rightfully so), so she won't need to worry about having too many people at her wedding. I definitely wouldn't go or bother with a gift.

[NitaX]

Mar 4, 2014 12:38:50 GMT -5 andrealynn said:

Is it terrible of me to hope that this chick later asks why Nita didn't get her a gift? Because I can totally see that happening.

Which would TOTALLY happen. Why? Because she's my church member. I see her weekly.

[Deleted]

[copzpartdeux]

I suppose holding a stand by party would be in poor form?

[iammalcolmx]

Mar 4, 2014 12:41:30 GMT -5 NitaX said:

Mar 4, 2014 12:38:50 GMT -5 andrealynn said:

Is it terrible of me to hope that this chick later asks why Nita didn't get her a gift? Because I can totally see that happening.

Which would TOTALLY happen. Why? Because she's my church member. I see her weekly.

Just let @soudesafinado 's Momma answer for you. PLEASE.

[cookiemdough]

Well technically you don't have to buy a gift for a wedding you aren't invited to. I would look at her text as uninviting you and act accordingly.

[NitaX]

@ororo Munroe

Nope. See, before she got engaged, she was always bemoaning being single. Her ass got engaged and immediately began planning for her wedding. She got a little sticker shock, but obviously not enough to pare down her list and get a real cost estimate on food. Now, she's concerned about seating at the venue.

This is why I did a destination wedding with a backyard party at my uncle's house. We were able to keep the guest list and cost pretty dang small. We changed our menu around to accommodate our budget. Everything went beautifully, and I never once worried about the number of invited guests.

Let me gone send this text back. My H all "well, just wait, maybe you'll calm down." Naw, this heifer done took me to my old I don't give a flying fuck self.

[pixy0stix]

OOO! Get her a spatula or measuring spoons.

Cheap and random.