OMG, I can't believe this is happening. Help! re: interview.

[silva]

Ok. Sorry if this may take long.

Three years ago, I left my job because my position was reduced to part-time (due to half of our budget being cut because of recent state legislation). I left on good terms (I think) with my department, but everything that lead up to the position changes were a nightmare. It was filled with drama, the department's morale was bad bad bad and it was tough on everyone.  I'm talking gossip, politics, accusations, etc. In addition to my position, another senior staff position was eliminated completely.

So, years before this I had a falling out with an old boss who ended up transferring to an amazing position. Her dream job. Some of my work overlapped with her and it was VERY difficult to work with her because at some points I felt like she was bullying me. She accused me of going after her old job (even though her new job was a huge promotion). She left and I was her replacement. 

At one point early on after she moved, she made a comment that she was going to be rising up the ranks and when that happened....(insinuating to me that I would be gone.)  Well, a perfect storm happened and I did in fact lose my job (by being reduced to part time.)

It came down to a vote but I never knew and never will know how much of an influence my old boss had in this decision. In the end, it was just weird, my old boss tried to reach out to me but I didn't trust her at all.

So...onto the present.

I apply for a new position in a different department. I scored an interview based on my qualifications and work I've done. Yes!  When I talked to the HR lady, I asked who was sitting in and she stated that she didn't know. 

She called me back and told me who was sitting in on the interview.

So guess who is one of the three.  Yup, my old boss.

I'm surprisingly very calm because I know the work I've achieved is good. I've grown so much and the work I can show them in my portfolio is strong.

However, I can't help to get a little nervous that this is happening. Part of me feels like I need to face my demons here. I worry I won't get this because she will again have this pull of tearing my goals apart.

When I left, I was a scared, belittled person around here. I had no voice.  I couldn't stand up to her and I didn't trust her. She reached out to me saying that I was going to get screwed because I was aligning myself with the wrong people. Back then I didn't believe her and it kills me that I have to do this, but again...I'm ok because I know my work is strong.

So......if you have read this. THANK YOU.

I need advice and perspective here. I have 10 days to create a killer portfolio and prep for the best.

holy crap.

[iamali]

Can you let the HR lady know that one of them is your old boss? Maybe they'll exclude her.

[silva]

Mar 7, 2014 11:53:55 GMT -5 iamali said:

Can you let the HR lady know that one of them is your old boss? Maybe they'll exclude her.

I'm not sure because this position has again, some overlap with her department. I thought it wasn't as much as other departments but it does to a certain degree. 

In my application I didn't put her name down as one of my supervisors. 

She's accused me of "playing the game." Like, I'm conniving and a backstabber.

[silva]

Mar 7, 2014 11:57:15 GMT -5 11d said:

Could you sit down with her beforehand and discuss where you were and how you've grown to see if you can 'mend' the relationship (even if you don't owe that to her)?

Also, will you be reporting to her?

I guess I could but I don't know if that is not allowed before the interview.

I don't think I would be reporting directly to her. In terms of some of the work I would have to, sorry it's so encrypted....the project I would work on has more creative licence than the rest of the departments have. The limitations for the other departments were established by her. 

[miniroller]

Mar 7, 2014 11:53:55 GMT -5 iamali said:

Can you let the HR lady know that one of them is your old boss? Maybe they'll exclude her.

Mmmm... I'm thinking that they would gladly use this as an advantage by having the insight of an interviewer who's previously worked with interviewee. And probably view it as a negative if you asked to have a former supervisor excluded- what does that say about your abilities?
Yeah, OP, I'm thinking you're going to have to mentally pump yourself up with the knowledge of how much you've matured & grown professionally in hopes that former co-worker has done the same. Even though she saw you as a threat in previous job, maybe she would gladly utilize those exact skills as an asset in the new position.

[gullterre15]

I have no quality advice but best of luck to you! I'll be looking for an update.

[cville]

Mar 7, 2014 12:00:00 GMT -5 @stpete said:

Mar 7, 2014 11:53:55 GMT -5 iamali said:

Can you let the HR lady know that one of them is your old boss? Maybe they'll exclude her.

I would expect the opposite. If the woman is still with the company they will want her perspective on your work and your growth since then. 

If possible I would reach out to her in a friendly way. Maybe an email, "Hi, I hope you are well. I understand that you will be sitting in on my upcoming interview next week and it was a relief to see a familiar name. I am excited about this opportunity and I can't want to show you how my portfolio has grown and evolved! If you have any words of wisdom or advice about the needs of the company today I would greatly appreciate your input. Sincerely, silvaho

Something like this sounds good.  I mean, if you all had some serious enmity going on, I don't know if I'd whip out "a relief" and super duper enthusiasm since that might look disingenuous, but you can find the right tone.

And I'd totally wait until the day before to send the email.  You don't want to give her time to poison the well if she DOESN'T know that she'll be interviewing you.

[silva]

Mar 7, 2014 12:02:01 GMT -5 luckydog said:

Well, first question is if you ever want to work with her again. You describe an awful person. Are you sure you want to be around that again?

My work with her would be minimal, I think unless it has changed.

I feel like I could. It's been three years. I've been exposed to a different work environment which made me more confident in myself. Towards the end she reached out to me but she saw me as this pathetic wimp, I'm not that anymore.

[vanillacourage]

Mar 7, 2014 12:00:00 GMT -5 @stpete said:

Mar 7, 2014 11:53:55 GMT -5 iamali said:

Can you let the HR lady know that one of them is your old boss? Maybe they'll exclude her.

I would expect the opposite. If the woman is still with the company they will want her perspective on your work and your growth since then. 

If possible I would reach out to her in a friendly way. Maybe an email, "Hi, I hope you are well. I understand that you will be sitting in on my upcoming interview next week and it was a relief to see a familiar name. I am excited about this opportunity and I can't want to show you how my portfolio has grown and evolved! If you have any words of wisdom or advice about the needs of the company today I would greatly appreciate your input. Sincerely, silvaho

I agree with this, except for the part I crossed out.  If she's accused you in the past of gaming the system, I wouldn't want to be perceived as asking for inside scoop before the interview, that might be inappropriate to provide to some candidates but not others.  I would keep a friendly but neutral tone and indicate I looked forward to meeting with her to review my recent accomplishments relative to the needs of the position.

Good luck, try not to let this get in your head. 

[cville]

Mar 7, 2014 12:10:49 GMT -5 silva said:

Mar 7, 2014 12:02:01 GMT -5 luckydog said:

Well, first question is if you ever want to work with her again. You describe an awful person. Are you sure you want to be around that again?

My work with her would be minimal, I think unless it has changed.

I feel like I could. It's been three years. I've been exposed to a different work environment which made me more confident in myself. Towards the end she reached out to me but she saw me as this pathetic wimp, I'm not that anymore.

Ah, you need to lay the groundwork for exposing her to the new you with some subtle "I'm a confident badass" messaging.

Hello heinous bitch,
I hope all is well with you.  I understand that you will be on the panel for my interview on the [date].  This is a fantastic opportunity and I am excited to learn more about the position on [day].  I am confident you will see the positive changes/additions to my portfolio since we last worked together.  I look forward to our meeting.

Best,
silvaho

[cville]

Mar 7, 2014 12:14:54 GMT -5 11d said:

Mar 7, 2014 12:08:40 GMT -5 cville said:

Something like this sounds good.  I mean, if you all had some serious enmity going on, I don't know if I'd whip out "a relief" and super duper enthusiasm since that might look disingenuous, but you can find the right tone.

And I'd totally wait until the day before to send the email.  You don't want to give her time to poison the well if she DOESN'T know that she'll be interviewing you.

The only thing with the waiting is that it doesn't give her a real chance to respond to silva or she can use it as an excuse for not getting back to her before the interview "oh sorry, I was too busy to respond."

Yeah, but silva doesn't really care what heinous bitch has to say.  She just cares that heinous bitch doesn't torpedo this opportunity.  Plus, imo, asking her for "advice" or anything that would require a response both A) puts silva in a one down to her one up position; and B) could appear to be asking for inside information, which can be misconstrued.

[silva]

You guys....a 12K salary increase (minimum) is on the line here. I feel shallow in stating that, but it's the truth and I won't mention that at all during this process.


Another element to this situation. LOL. My current boss is leaving our company. His last day is today and he can't speak highly enough on the work I do. Should I wait a week and talk to him to see if he can write me a letter or something?

[sonrisa]

Mar 7, 2014 12:31:43 GMT -5 silva said:

You guys....a 12K salary increase (minimum) is on the line here. I feel shallow in stating that, but it's the truth and I won't mention that at all during this process.


Another element to this situation. LOL. My current boss is leaving our company. His last day is today and he can't speak highly enough on the work I do. Should I wait a week and talk to him to see if he can write me a letter or something?

I wouldn't wait a week. Ask him today unless there is no appropriate time to do so. 

ETA: Wait, I might be confused. Is this an intracompany transfer you are applying for? If so, ask today. If not, use your judgment. 

[silva]

Mar 7, 2014 12:22:52 GMT -5 cville said:

Mar 7, 2014 12:14:54 GMT -5 11d said:

The only thing with the waiting is that it doesn't give her a real chance to respond to silva or she can use it as an excuse for not getting back to her before the interview "oh sorry, I was too busy to respond."

Yeah, but silva doesn't really care what heinous bitch has to say.  She just cares that heinous bitch doesn't torpedo this opportunity.  Plus, imo, asking her for "advice" or anything that would require a response both A) puts silva in a one down to her one up position; and B) could appear to be asking for inside information, which can be misconstrued.

So much the bolded. 

The department I used to work for is crumbling. EVERYONE there is miserable (except for a few) and it's mainly because of the top boss's lack of leadership. Top boss was my last boss before I left and the former boss of my old boss who is sitting in on the interview.


Old Boss who will sit in on the interview, her goal was to change that department because she knew he didn't do his job. It just ended up being myself and another senior staff who got screwed in the process.

The question is...old boss does she want to deal with me or not. BUT again, the two are the associate director and assistant manager of marketing for that specific department.

[silva]

Mar 7, 2014 12:37:15 GMT -5 sonrisa said:

Mar 7, 2014 12:31:43 GMT -5 silva said:

You guys....a 12K salary increase (minimum) is on the line here. I feel shallow in stating that, but it's the truth and I won't mention that at all during this process.


Another element to this situation. LOL. My current boss is leaving our company. His last day is today and he can't speak highly enough on the work I do. Should I wait a week and talk to him to see if he can write me a letter or something?

I wouldn't wait a week. Ask him today unless there is no appropriate time to do so. 

ETA: Wait, I might be confused. Is this an intracompany transfer you are applying for? If so, ask today. If not, use your judgment. 

Two different companyies that are not affiliated at all with each other.

[silva]

Mar 7, 2014 12:50:38 GMT -5 gator02 said:

Am I missing something? This woman basically told you she aimed to work her way up and get you fired? And you think there is a chance that now, suddenly, she might want to HIRE you? I don't mean to be snarky, but I don't see how you stand a chance in this situation. It's unfortunate, really bad luck, but true, IMO.

No, that was stated immediately when we had our falling out (due to an incident she discovered happened.) like 8 years ago. It was her way of lashing back at me because she felt I stabbed her in the back when all I did was state in a closed, confidential meeting that I found it challenging to work for her because she micromanaged everything. Some one told her this (when it was supposed to be a confidential meeting) and thus the falling out. Her saying she was going to work on getting me fired was her first reaction to that.

Many years past and we were as professional as we could be with each other because she was in the better job. The last time I talked to her, she reached out to me stating that I was getting screwed by my current boss. So, I think that original incident has gone by. At least I hope it has because that is where we are now. 

I appreciate your honesty because I'm wouldn't have posted this otherwise. I know that is a potential outcome.

[silva]

Mar 7, 2014 12:49:40 GMT -5 11d said:

Do you see her, even if only in the hallways, at all?

Are you friendly?

I'm just trying to get a better feel for what her issues are with you personally at this point in her career and yours. I'm trying to gauge whether she has blacklisted you.

It's been a few years since I saw her at all. I ran into her at a store and smiled hello.

[Deleted]

Mar 7, 2014 12:13:07 GMT -5 11d said:

Mar 7, 2014 12:00:00 GMT -5 @stpete said:

What a dilly of a pickle! 

Ok, lol at this.

I think the previous posters did a good job on this.  Reach out to her, and show up as a strong and positive woman.

Best of luck to you!

[Deleted]

I don't think I would reach out to her. I would go into the interview doing my best, but thinking there was a good chance she would not hire me. If I were doing the hiring, I would not take a second chance on someone I had had a bad personal relationship with. And all a preemptive email would do is cause me to try to shut the process down even faster. I can only think of two people I have ever worked with that I really did not like or trust, but there is no way a preemptive email from either of them would make anything better. It would make it worse.

[silva]

Thanks everyone.

It's a true dilly of a pickle. I can tell I've grown because I'm not experiencing any anxiety. Whatever happens will be. I'll be blocking the past and if it's brought up, I'll do my best to be as professional as possible.

[silva]

Mar 7, 2014 13:25:31 GMT -5 elle said:

I don't think I would reach out to her. I would go into the interview doing my best, but thinking there was a good chance she would not hire me. If I were doing the hiring, I would not take a second chance on someone I had had a bad personal relationship with. And all a preemptive email would do is cause me to try to shut the process down even faster. I can only think of two people I have ever worked with that I really did not like or trust, but there is no way a preemptive email from either of them would make anything better. It would make it worse.

thanks. I appreciate your honesty.

I have to face reality here. I realize that.  The other two people who are on the panel work directly in the department, she's there because she's involved with one aspect of the marketing tools, that's it. She doesn't manage this department's staff at all.

[ECB]

Mar 7, 2014 13:25:31 GMT -5 elle said:

I don't think I would reach out to her. I would go into the interview doing my best, but thinking there was a good chance she would not hire me. If I were doing the hiring, I would not take a second chance on someone I had had a bad personal relationship with. And all a preemptive email would do is cause me to try to shut the process down even faster. I can only think of two people I have ever worked with that I really did not like or trust, but there is no way a preemptive email from either of them would make anything better. It would make it worse.

This is where I fall.  Especially since she accused you of "Playing the game".  I would just go into the interview confidently.  if appropriate, shake her hand, look her in the eye, smile, and be pleasant.  A "nice to see you again".  Whatever.

To add- earlier you said it's been 3 years... I assume since you've worked together/for the same company?  The way you wrote that, it sounds like even as recently as 3 years ago - things weren't great between you.  Then you say that this incident happened EIGHT years ago.

So.... in those 5 years, what was your relationship like?  If it was uncomfortable and there was still animosity there, even MORE so, I agree w/ Elle.  I don't know that the past 3 years of no contact/interaction will erase the previous 5 years of "whatever" the relationship was.

[silva]

Mar 7, 2014 13:33:55 GMT -5 ECB said:

Mar 7, 2014 13:25:31 GMT -5 elle said:

I don't think I would reach out to her. I would go into the interview doing my best, but thinking there was a good chance she would not hire me. If I were doing the hiring, I would not take a second chance on someone I had had a bad personal relationship with. And all a preemptive email would do is cause me to try to shut the process down even faster. I can only think of two people I have ever worked with that I really did not like or trust, but there is no way a preemptive email from either of them would make anything better. It would make it worse.

This is where I fall.  Especially since she accused you of "Playing the game".  I would just go into the interview confidently.  if appropriate, shake her hand, look her in the eye, smile, and be pleasant.  A "nice to see you again".  Whatever.

To add- earlier you said it's been 3 years... I assume since you've worked together/for the same company?  The way you wrote that, it sounds like even as recently as 3 years ago - things weren't great between you.  Then you say that this incident happened EIGHT years ago.

So.... in those 5 years, what was your relationship like?  If it was uncomfortable and there was still animosity there, even MORE so, I agree w/ Elle.  I don't know that the past 3 years of no contact/interaction will erase the previous 5 years of "whatever" the relationship was.

The falling out happened 8 years ago...I left my job 3 years ago. 

In the 5 years between the incident and when I left was better. I had to work with her on a project directly which fine. The project never finalized because that was the start of the staff reduction process and perhaps she new I was going to be reduced/gone. But I worked hard on it 110% because I wanted to get it done and I'm proud of the work I contributed to it. Some of it is still being used on it.

I'm tipping on both sides here because it brings up the unknown which I always focused on in the past. 


Again, she's 1 of 3. She's not the decider.

[ECB]

Mar 7, 2014 13:43:10 GMT -5 silva said:

In the 5 years between the incident and when I left was better. I had to work with her on a project directly which fine. The project never finalized because that was the start of the staff reduction process and perhaps she new I was going to be reduced/gone. But I worked hard on it 110% because I wanted to get it done and I'm proud of the work I contributed to it. Some of it is still being used on it.

I'm tipping on both sides here because it brings up the unknown which I always focused on in the past. 

Ah, I see.