any questions/opinions/arguments/vents/advice needed?

[Deleted]

Give me general advice sue sue! I love your wisdom.

[hisno1girl]

W hat do you think about parents using the "1, 2, 3" counting thing as a way of making a child do something.

I find it annoying as hell.

ETA my annoyance isn't directed at anyone here, it's directed at my daughter because I've heard it like eleventy billion times this weekend and it obviously does not work for her.

[wysiwyg]

Sue sue, tell me that I don't have crazy acid blood cancer and my doctor is just being extra careful with all these tests.

Also, can you wish me luck on my mid terms? LOL

[Deleted]

Mar 8, 2014 22:43:10 GMT -5 wysiwyg said:

Sue sue, tell me that I don't have crazy acid blood cancer and my doctor is just being extra careful with all these tests.

Also, can you wish me luck on my mid terms? LOL

Me too for midterms! 4 of them Tuesday.

Sent from my totally awesome galaxy s3.

[sarahswim]

Mar 8, 2014 22:42:58 GMT -5 hisno1girl said:

W hat do you think about parents using the "1, 2, 3" counting thing as a way of making a child do something.

I find it annoying as hell.

ETA my annoyance isn't directed at anyone here, it's directed at my daughter because I've heard it like eleventy billion times this weekend and it obviously does not work for her.

I'm nowhere close to SueSue's ability, but in terms of counting, I've always heard to count down, not up, because kids will wait all day for you to count to 100 before they do what you ask!

[hisno1girl]

Mar 8, 2014 22:47:57 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

Mar 8, 2014 22:42:58 GMT -5 hisno1girl said:

W hat do you think about parents using the "1, 2, 3" counting thing as a way of making a child do something.

I find it annoying as hell.

ETA my annoyance isn't directed at anyone here, it's directed at my daughter because I've heard it like eleventy billion times this weekend and it obviously does not work for her.

I hate the 123 counting thing. I didn't give chances.  That said, if it works, great. But if it's not working, well, time to find something else. 

I didn't give chances either.  The options were either a. do as I say, or B. face the consequences.

Moonpie and Voldemort were hellions tonight but I guess my opinions about feeding them ice cream before dinner, Coke with dinner, and a bowl of M&Ms after dinner were way, way off.

*eyeroll*

[jenmegs]

I'm a lurker but I need help! I cannot figure out what it's going to take to potty train my 3 yr old DS. 2 yr old DD is going along swimmingly, but the boy is...not. bribes of candy, stickers, fun things etc don't work. Letting him do it in his pants or on the floor doesn't matter. Any advice? Oh and he has a tantrum if I just stick him on the toilet. Tell me he won't be going to kindergarten in diapers.

[game blouses]

How did you balance your older son's toddler needs when you brought the new baby home? Was there a lot of jealousy?

[lolanjoe]

Will you give me advice about my fence placement?

pandce.proboards.com/thread/298888/fence-yard-pip

[stephm0188]

I have a know it all mommy martyr in my social circle. Avoiding her isn't always possible. Tell me how to deal without wanting to yell "SHUT UP!!'

Her latest comment, for example, was how I'm an uptight first time mom for not wanting to discontinue my son's IEP.

[livinitup]

Sue sue, my boss is being REALLY sympathetic to a staff member with mental health issues. (She had a break down and treatment last month). All of her work has been shifted to me. She's been given a new title, not much work and little to nothing is expected. The work she cobbles together is terrible. Boss knows. She's miserable and very unhappy. Boss keeps wanting me to find work for her. But it's MORE work for me to keep her busy and she deeply resents me and basically seems frightened of me. It's getting awkward for the staff, too. Some people are really loosing patience. I think boss thought staffer would have recovered and been well functioning by now. I'm afraid of being anything but supportive of boss's plan but it's getting really hard to fake it. What should I do?

[jenmegs]

Mar 8, 2014 23:06:38 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

Mar 8, 2014 22:52:57 GMT -5 jenmegs said:

I'm a lurker but I need help! I cannot figure out what it's going to take to potty train my 3 yr old DS. 2 yr old DD is going along swimmingly, but the boy is...not. bribes of candy, stickers, fun things etc don't work. Letting him do it in his pants or on the floor doesn't matter. Any advice? Oh and he has a tantrum if I just stick him on the toilet. Tell me he won't be going to kindergarten in diapers.

put him back in diapers/pull ups and let it be for a while. not a word about it. Seriously. You will  not win this 'fight'. 

And, when he asks for something, like say a bike, or trike, or a set of Hot Wheels or whatever, say, brightly, "Oh, as soon as you can use the potty, we can get that! That's for kids without diapers". Do this whenever he asks for some new wonderful thing. "Oh, that's for big kids. As soon as you're big, you can have that."  And say nothing else. Shut. Up. He'll come to you ready to potty train, and motivated to do it, as soon as he can manage it.  


And lol, he will be using the bathroom pretty soon. I get it though. 

Thank you! I will try this. I just had it in my head that he would be potty trained by 3, so I've probably been pushing too much the last couple months.

[lolanjoe]

How can I break it to my parents (specifically my super controlling mom) that we're moving back to our hometown 1000 miles away? We have inherited a home there, and it's ours outright with no mortgage or liens, so it's a big opportunity for financial stability for us. We live in my parents' investment property which they bought specifically to rent to us, and they gave us a huge discount on rent while I was in school, but now that I'm done, DH is in college for his second career and we struggle to pay our bills.

My mom is Salvadoran and thinks everything we do is her business, and claims we don't agree "because you're American." For example, my brother recently had issues with his girlfriend and they postponed their wedding, and my mom insisted she had a right to know the specifics and went so far as to call the girl's parents to try to get information. She is the queen of guilt trips and is ultra judgey, and I know she's going to give us hell about moving.

We don't move until November. How should I approach telling her?

[Deleted]

Mar 8, 2014 23:09:28 GMT -5 livinitup said:

Sue sue, my boss is being REALLY sympathetic to a staff member with mental health issues. (She had a break down and treatment last month). All of her work has been shifted to me. She's been given a new title, not much work and little to nothing is expected. The work she cobbles together is terrible. Boss knows. She's miserable and very unhappy. Boss keeps wanting me to find work for her. But it's MORE work for me to keep her busy and she deeply resents me and basically seems frightened of me. It's getting awkward for the staff, too. Some people are really loosing patience. I think boss thought staffer would have recovered and been well functioning by now. I'm afraid of being anything but supportive of boss's plan but it's getting really hard to fake it. What should I do?

Not Sue Sue and hopefully she has some good advice too, but I experienced this from the manager's perspective.

This is super touchy for the company. It cannot be seen as discriminating against someone who took legally entitled leave. And it will be even touchier if you are in CA or CT which have extra protections for employees in general.

I would recommend as an employee doing 2 things.
1. Let your manager know when you are struggling with the extra work and ask for support. 2. Let your manager know every time you have to majorly re-do or correct the employees work. Be diplomatic "I just thought you should know we were held up because Jane did not complete X, Y, Z, etc".

I hope the woman improves, but it may not happen.

[lolanjoe]

Mar 8, 2014 23:34:15 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

Mar 8, 2014 23:28:48 GMT -5 lolanjoe said:

How can I break it to my parents (specifically my super controlling mom) that we're moving back to our hometown 1000 miles away? We have inherited a home there, and it's ours outright with no mortgage or liens, so it's a big opportunity for financial stability for us. We live in my parents' investment property which they bought specifically to rent to us, and they gave us a huge discount on rent while I was in school, but now that I'm done, DH is in college for his second career and we struggle to pay our bills.

My mom is Salvadoran and thinks everything we do is her business, and claims we don't agree "because you're American." For example, my brother recently had issues with his girlfriend and they postponed their wedding, and my mom insisted she had a right to know the specifics and went so far as to call the girl's parents to try to get information. She is the queen of guilt trips and is ultra judgey, and I know she's going to give us hell about moving.

We don't move until November. How should I approach telling her?

Don't expect her to be any different than she is. You just have to change your reaction to her behavior. 

You know she's going to be upset. let her be upset. She gets to have her feelings about this; her feelings should just not change your behavior. This is a good thing for your parents, in that they can rent the property out now at market value, instead of taking a hit every month. 

I'd focus on how grateful you are to them for their help all this time, how you could not have done what you did without their help, how much you were able to save/not spend, etc,  and how much you want them to visit you in your new home. Tell her you cannot possibly see taking advantage of their generosity one minute longer than necessary, and you want them to be able to make money off this property instead of letting you use it for such a generous rate. 

You know. Seem to grovel. Take some of the wind out of her sails. And roll your eyes at her attempts to make you feel guilty. 

I love this! They can probably rent it out for the same as what we pay now or more -- they actually charge us now what the full mortgage was when they purchased it, and have since refinanced. I don't know what the monthly is now, but it's less than what we pay. Not that I'm going to change that angle, though!

[livinitup]

You're right about bringing solutions. I just thought of something that may work. She used to do one day a week at another office. Maybe I can suggest more days per week at the other office - that would solve a few things. Not so much the poor work product, but she wouldn't be so visibly miserable and unproductive. It might give her the time she needs to recover without being in such a busy, crowded, overworked office.

And it seems like this is a life long condition that's she's battled. She has benefitted from hospitalization and strong meds and will likely need to continue for the long term.

[renna]

Sue Sue, I don't need advice but could use a friend hug. It's been confirmed my dad had a heart attack earlier this week and they found some other issues, too. We were all hoping for one of those "Oh, hey, that was just a weird fluke thing, you'll be fine," kind of outcomes but it's really looking more serious than that (but not necessarily dire - I refuse to think of it being worst case scenario).

I'm fairly new here so I'm not known, wasn't on TK or TN or whatever it's called. I was born when Johnson was president so bad news isn't new to me but dang. This is my dad, you know? And my mom is being brave but is worried.

Anyway, just wanted someone here to say "It'll be okay, somehow."

Thanks.

[wannabe]

We almost went to a dessert place called ramekin and I instantly thought of you.

[sugarbear]

For once, I am not in need of any advice.

A question: have you seen the movie Gravity? How did you feel about it?
(Fine. 2 questions.)

[sugarbear]

Mar 9, 2014 0:30:52 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

Mar 9, 2014 0:30:09 GMT -5 sugarbear said:

For once, I am not in need of any advice.

A question: have you seen the movie Gravity? How did you feel about it?
(Fine. 2 questions.)

I have NOT seen it, and I want to. What did you think of it? I love Sandra Bullock, and I adore George Clooney. 

I hated it. I just finished it about ten minutes ago, and I desperately want to go to bed, but I'm too angry, lol. It's 90 minutes long. I clenched for 87 minutes and laughed in disbelief for the last three. Bullock was good, as was Clooney. But it was almost too suspenseful for me, and the end was just... Well. I don't want to ruin it for you.

I do understand why Bullock was nominated for an Oscar. 

[sugarbear]

Mar 9, 2014 0:36:11 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

Mar 9, 2014 0:33:29 GMT -5 sugarbear said:

I hated it. I just finished it about ten minutes ago, and I desperately want to go to bed, but I'm too angry, lol. It's 90 minutes long. I clenched for 87 minutes and laughed in disbelief for the last three. Bullock was good, as was Clooney. But it was almost too suspenseful for me, and the end was just... Well. I don't want to ruin it for you.

I do understand why Bullock was nominated for an Oscar. 

I heard it was just so freaking awesome, but very tense. I am so tense already,it does not help me to watch movies that add to my anxiety.  

I feel really lame saying this, but that is just it. It was simply too tense for me. I literally, at one point, was on the edge of the couch holding my breath. I can't deal with that much stress!

[renna]

Mar 9, 2014 0:20:41 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

Mar 8, 2014 23:51:45 GMT -5 renna said:

I am so sorry about your dad, and about your worries. This is hard.  ((((hugs)))) 
Think though of how far heart treatment has come in the past 40 years. There is so much that can be done with cardiac rehab now, so many medications and treatments that were not available even ten years ago.  People who would have been cripples, or worse, can now have long and healthy lives.  This is what's coming for your dad, I am sure. They're going to beat him up about diet and exercise, and do therapies and give him meds, may even do a bypass,  and he's going to come out of this sailing. 

Your mom is being so brave, remember her courage. She's a great example to you. 

Thanks for this so much, Sue Sue.  Truly, every little bit of encouragement does help, and this is a big one.  Thanks for putting it out there.

[dapotato]

Mar 9, 2014 0:09:49 GMT -5 wannabe said:

We almost went to a dessert place called ramekin and I instantly thought of you.

I've been. and this creepy lurker also thought of suesue

it was delicious, by the way. expensive & you have to wait, but good. 

[wambam]

Sue, you're great.

/that's all

[wambam]

Mar 9, 2014 1:12:51 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

Mar 9, 2014 1:10:29 GMT -5 wambam said:

Sue, you're great.

/that's all

(((hugs))) I want new boobs! you are such an inspiration to me. 

Fucking dooooooo it.

Beat decision ever.

Wanna see my drunk muscles?

[stephogirl]

How do you deal with the fact that you're probably going to have to financially support DH's parents/brother? Combination of bad luck/bad decisions. Do you accept it or go tough love on them?

[bananapancakes]

You're probably sleeping now, @cse1960 but if you come back to this later I'd love your advice for getting through the first 6 months of my baby's life without my H around. I'm thrilled that this opportunity has been presented to H and I know our lives will be better for it, but the thought of doing it all alone for 6 long months is stressing me out big time!